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Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

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Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Basra- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:23 am

Disclosure: The following comedy story was inspired by Sir luggoyo's thread he made about Hyper's Uncle. You may want to read Sir Lug's comedy before continuing.


...here is a link...


http://somalinet.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=202801



Enjoy! :kiss: :rose: :lol:








Hypers now divorced aunt wanted to dispute her divorce from her husband. Uncle Hyper was surmoned to a jury of legendary odeeyaal of all sorts of qabil. They assembled in the most convenient, most appropriate sumpreme court venue of the somali confederacy: The dunkin Donut shop. A collection of a few good old men who have mischivious, retired casanova rendez-vous written all over their faces. Upon first taking time to enjoy the over sugary glazed donuts, and sipping their over-flooded cups of coffess, they sat in their normal spot to begin the proceedings. Mama Hyper was dressed modestly- all in black, a big black bed sheet sized gabasaar, tightly wrapped around her face and covering her entire body. Her sad, affected glaring, naughty large eyes are the only thing visible to the panel before her. It took some minutes before the guest of honor arrived. Uncle Hyper arrived with less dramatic entrance. He was some what limping due to his uneven legs, one was long than the other was short. He had a very strong thick walking stick that he did not use for walking but just as a habbit of carrying it since the stick has been his cattle rearing companion for over 20 years back home.Uncle Hyper had a sharaaf badaan moustache that spoke his vigor and his manlyness. His sri lankan slash warsangeli soft hair and very dark skin cearly boosted a certain sexiness that was only valued in rural, baadiye somalia but not here in the center of metropolitan city. Uncle Hyper was one of the first famous flight 13 passengers whose fright of white people was captured live on local televised news about new refugee arivals, as he shook their white hands suspiciously. He gracefully came down the airplane, waving affectionately, unbeknownst to the culture shock and horror ahead of him. Upon spotting more white faces-- he bagan to examine them, protected himself by distancing, and ready for fight as he would face a fox and lions in his home town-raaganiimo village. Uncle Hyper dutifully and personally shook hands at all the fellow odeeys, with genuine happy affections. He had a special affinity and safety being among his peers. AS he shook all their hands, he briefly looked at his wife and wave an air 'Asaalam aleikum'


"We are gahered here to discussion a few points, we dont expect to reach any drastic decision, just a basic understanding of WHAT exactly happened" Spoke the most westernised groomed odeey in the panel-- Sir Luggooyo.


'In your own words- Xalimoo haji Libaah---why r you disputing this divorce" Asked another distinguished odeey.... Haji ninxooon.



Inaa Libaah took a little bit time to collect her thoughts,her hands tucked in beneath her black huge bed sheet, her face sad and inexpressive-- in a seductive sweet way she wet her lips. (In which Uncle Hyper gave a brief look and quickly looked down, in his mind declaring it already a grotesque sign of indecency in play)


"Odeeyaal---I love my husband. :cry: Istaqfurulaah....i mean my ex husband. I believe he gave me three 'dalaaqs' for silly reasons.The first two i am not really diputing because he had every right to ask me not to eat with him.Or to wait and eat his remains-- that is a primitive custom i guess in the somali culture. :roll: The other reason i forget. :| But i am mostly in dispute of the third dalaaq reason, i believe wifely rights have been violated."


She coughed and teared a bit before Sir Lug interrupted her....and gave her his pretty white hankerchief with pretty flowery drowings on it. :cry:



Odeey Sir Lug being the player that he is---he forgot where he was....being used to targeting single mothers in a time of their emotional weakness,a charming predator by all means. HIS legendary Pseudo consolations techniques was famous in this small city, first it comes with a touch of shusshing on the shoulder, and then followed by a violent make out marathon.Sir luggy'... stood and touched her shoulders, and begged her not cry. Hyper Uncle immediately cautioned Sir Lug to control himself and not to forgot where he is from and that he is a man.Not a hound dog.One wasnt sure whether he had a momentary lapse of jealousy or that he was concerned of the etiquette of the reer mudug protocal. Inaa Hajii Libaaah ...comntinued..to make her case.




"All i want is my wifely right. The right to touch my husband. Excite his Tofu de la enlarge'. His....hands of....




"His WHAT??? Screamed a collection of the all the odeeyaals. :shock: :shock: :shock:




:oops: :oops: Shyfully Inaa Haji libaah re-phrased herself to the level and innocence of the panel before her.


'I meant-- i have a right to careress my husband the way i want to.My husband is afraid of me."



"No wait a minute there." :x Uncle Hyper interrupted quickly. He felt his manlyness was attacked.


" I am not afraid of you. Woman i have made love to you like a wild animal many times--even the neightbors---called 911 numerous times. How can i be afraid of you? All i ask is my right as a MAN --head of the village, head of the household to be respected.That is all. I want Mudug protocal to be followed.Is that hard to ask for..... "yaa odeeyaal"???



Uncle Hyper asked as he looked at his sweating, saliving, drooling horny odeeyaal before him. They all nodded their heads in collective agreement but quickly looked at inaa Hajii Libaah to reply and plead her case.



"I am a sexual wife. I like to please my husband. I feel sometimes my husband's sexual libido is very disorganised. I have noticed him make love to a hilib and baariis food better than he does to me.I wanted to be you know.... :roll: :oops: ilbaax. :|



"Yes-- that is your problem! " :x Retorted a mad Unle Hyper. Stumping his thick stick on the ground with gradual irritatitation & discomfort.


"I dont want you to touch me. I have to beging the touching. The other day...you stick your tongue in my ears. Now what the HELL ..is that?????? :x



The collective panel went into Istaqfurulaahs tsunamis, with shock on their collective foreheads..... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Hajii ninxoon...looks like he is about to pass out. :|



Inaa Hajii Libaaah....cries and begs for forgiveness. I am sorry i was moved by a moment of passion. :x :x :x :x



"Passion? How about---dhiloniimo? Gaalonimo? Unpatrioticniimo? You know too much woman! :x I am a normal, reer mudug MAN. I dont read gaalo books or watch their filiiim. I want a normal reer mudug wife who is very innocent, that she doesnt know even when she is having sex. Thats why i plan to responsor a counsin of mine, i understand she is very beautiful, daughter of a wadaad marehaan...inaa QANSAGABEYLE."


A gleam of happiness & hope came on to his face as he said it. :mrgreen: Meanwhile Inaa hajii Libaaah continuied to cry as she heard this and Sir Lug--couldnt help himself, especially after hearing her talents and skills--- he just grabbed her by the hand and together they walked out whispering to each other. The rest of the odeeyaal......suddenly had an attack of headaches and backaches and rushed home to their wives. Hyper & hajii ninxoon never moved a foot : Haji Ninxoon..called his adoon squad team to alert them another somali xalimo victim who has learned more leathal techniques than the previous generations.Hajii ninxoon was throwing alot of istaqfurulaahs on the phone, and simutaneously mixing F words which completely brought my personal mystery of my favorite character Uncle Hyper; -HOW was he absolutely immuned from the conspiracy conversation happening next to him, as he was innocently busy making love to the Donut.Could Inaa Haji Libaah been unlawfully & unfairly divorced? Was she right about her ex husband?Let everybody keep their own answer to themselves! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Gifted » Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:33 am

"Passion? How about---dhiloniimo? Gaalonimo? Unpatrioticniimo? You know too much woman! :x I am a normal, reer mudug MAN. I dont read gaalo books or watch their filiiim. I want a normal reer mudug wife who is very innocent, that she doesnt know even when she is having sex. Thats why i plan to responsor a counsin of mine, i understand she is very beautiful, daughter of a wadaad marehaan...inaa QANSAGABEYLE."
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Basra that was hillarious, enjoyed every bit of it, 5 stars. :lol: :up:

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Re: Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Basra- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:04 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :up: I am glad "U Like" Gifted, walaahi i just typed it under 25 minutes. I went and did some editing now. Enjoy it. I gotta go enjoy my saturday now. :kiss: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Hyperactive » Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:57 am

:lol: hyper's uncle ba iska ba'ay.

all this thanbi is on ader sir lugooyo.lol

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Re: Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Buhodle-Gurl » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:17 pm

Stickin her tongue in Ucncle Hyper's ears. Akhas, wa nag edeb darrran. :mrgreen:

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Re: Hyper's Uncle Divorce proceedings

Postby Basra- » Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:49 am

Bgirl@loll u r sick. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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