The Chronicles of Azania Part 3

[AbdiWahab252]

The sun rose brightly over the Somali peninsula. There was a flurry of activities all across the Jubba valley as all sides prepared for what was going to be a day that would not soon be forgotten. In the Xarakada camp, Grandpapakhalif lead his warriors in prayer with one eye still darting around lest the infidels snuck up on him. As soon as he finished the prayers, he grabbed a microphone and went into a blood curling kutbah:

“Mujahideen, our day of glory is now upon us. We will crush the infidels and cleanse the land of them like a tsunami. Their blood will wash away the nijaas. Today, today, is the start of the end of the kuffar and their puppies. God is with us, the righteous ones, our enemies will fall before us and we will slay them in this world and God willing in the next.”

He became so worked up that his mouth frothed like a dog with rabies. It took a brave soul to grab Grandpapa’s microphone to end what was going to turn into a Gaddafi style four tirade against the infidels for causing all the evil in the world.

“Mujahid, we must depart now before it gets too hot,” asked a frail EOMM. He was from the northern highlands and was not used to the tropical heat. EOMM joined the Xarakada after discovering the religion in Mandeera prison. He hoped to erase his sins and moral debts by fighting against the infidels who invaded the nation.

“Yes, yes, TAKBIR !” screamed Grandpapa who still clenched the microphone.

“Allahu Akbar !” thundered the 500 strong Xarakada ! They were uplifted by their Mufti’s tirade. They proceeded to run to their vehicles and piled on. A convoy of over 30 vehicles was soon cutting their way through the thick bush towards the KDF encampment.

The Kenyans seemed unaware of the Xarakada advance. They were busy finishing up their breakfast. The KDF was a force whose main priorities were to eat, to drink and to party. They were still hung over from the many tuskers consumed during the previous evening.

FatimaZahra ran from her tent towards Commander Meru who was shaving under a tree.

“Commander, commander,”

“What is it Fatima?”

The Americans are reporting a convoy of vehicles headed in this direction.

“Is it the food trucks ?”

“No, no, ni wa Somali (no, no, it is the Somalis) !

Commander Meru was unpleasantly surprised. He generally hated being told bad news right before his breakfast.

“Hurry up, assemble the men, assemble the men !”

Commander Meru walked to his tent and put on his regalia. He wanted to look proper for his first live engagement. It did not help that the Daily Nation had a correspondent embedded with his unit. Commander Meru felt very excited and was soon dressed to impress. He put on a freshly pressed 100% wool formal military banquet suit with his various medals pinned on his chest. During his years of service, he collected many medals for brave acts of service such as quelling the street boys rebellion of 2007 and the castle rustling plague of 2009. However, today, he hoped to earn a medal for fighting guys who could shoot back.The commander walked to the assembled men and soon broke into a speech:

“Wanainchi, Comrades, Brothers, today, we are going to battle. With whom ? An evil enemy. One who fears nothing, not even death. Your goal my comrades is to live. Let us give them what they seek: DEATH !”

The troops broke into thunderous applause. They were smiling and were cheering their commander as if they had already won the battle. Commander Meru was beaming with pride and made sure to smile for the photographer. At this rate he thought, I could become a MP, maybe a Minister if I win this battle.

The KDF started its preparations for the first engagement with the Xarakada. Commander Meru was busy discussing his strategy with his inner circle of commanders and Nairobi. After giving his final instructions, Commander Meru retired to his tent to pray.

“Jesus, I pray that you keep me safe from the enemy. I ask you to grant me victory.”

Meru had not prayed this hard before. After reading what befell opponents of the Xarakada, he knew that he needed divine intervention. Soon, Meru was in seated in his green hummer vehicle traveling in a narrow convoy to confront the Xarakada.

In the Azanian camp, the men were still asleep. The camp reeked of a foul stench, product of cambuulo.

“Taliye, taliye, get up.”

“Guhad, give me 5 more minutes, I need my sleep.”

“Taliye, taliye, this is important.”

Commander Abdiwahab looked at the man who dared wake him up from his slumber. A khat induced slumber is something not to be interrupted.

“What the fock is your problem ? This better be focking good !”

“The Xarakada are coming.”

Abdiwahab leapt off his mattress and reached for his AK. He was in shock and wondered if at any moment, they would come bursting into the camp.

“Where , where, where ?” he whispered as he rolled quickly behind a bush.

“Taliye, they are 15 kilometers away and are moving towards the Kenyans.”

“Bastard, why the hell did you shock me ?”

Abdiwahab soon began to breathe again. He had been shocked and was very angry at Guhaad for unnecessarily scaring his 46 year old heart which was beating faster than a Congolese drum.

“Taliye, the Xarakada have no idea we were here and neither do the Kenyans. I spotted their columns heading towards each other. The two sides will clash this morning.

Abdiwahab smiled and looked very happy.

“Taliye, why are you suddenly happy ?”

“My son, fortune favors us. Lady Luck has decided to show her bosom to us.”

Guhad scratched his head and wondered what the old man was going on about.

“I don’t get it, Taliye, how so ?”

“Warya, you are not in this army to think but to obey. Assemble the men now !”

Abdiwahab ran to the pit latrine to relieve himself. Focking cambuulo ! he thought. Soon he was back in his tent. Abdiwahab pondered what military strategy to employ and seemed fathomed until he saw the biography of Josef Stalin next to his gambar. His face lit up.

“Sir, the men are assembled.”

“Okay, tell them I will be out in a jiffy.”

Abdiwahab put on his uniform. The Azanian military was cash strapped and so Abdiwahab had to be resourceful. He wore Bata gumboots, olive green fatigues, a white T-shirt and an fisherman’s hat. He looked awful and more like the cook than the commander. However, Abdiwahab was very deliberate to underdress and let his junior officers seem more senior. He knew the Xarakada snipers and homicide bombers sought out commanding officers and preferred they picked off his decoys Guhad or Patriot.

“Attention !” yelled Guhaad.

The 100 Azanians stood up and saluted their commander.

“Listen you sons of bitches. Don’t salute me, “ barked Abdiwahab who did not want to be identified as being the leader of this group.

“Men today, today is our day. I was asleep this last night when I had a vision of a free Azania. This nirvana is within our grasp. For months, we prepared for this momentous moment. It was not easy to get here. We languished in Kenya. We have not been paid for weeks. We endured eating cambuulo night after night after night. Today, this all ends. Today, today we will not have to eat any more cot damn cambuulo nor be broke. I promise you, my brothers in arms, that today, we will seize victory and so much spoils.”

The Azanian faces lit up when they heard no more cambuulo and about the potential spoils. Abdiwahab was a cunning man and knew that his pocketing of the food ration money would motivate the men. They were broke, angry and importantly hungry. The promises of good food and money were more than enough to get the Azanians to perform a traditional war dance.

The dark storms gathered over the valley. The battle of the decade was about to start.

[AhlulbaytSoldier]

“Listen you sons of bitches. Don’t salute me, “
barked Abdiwahab who did not want to be
identified as being the leader of this group.

AW, we need this book in stores. I will buy it!

[AbdiWahab252]

Akhii,

Send, this is a merely a sample. I need to go the Jubbas to get some more data on the Azanians.

[accident]

He became so worked up that his mouth frothed like a dog with rabies. It took a brave soul to grab Grandpapa’s microphone to end what was going to turn into a Gaddafi style four tirade against the infidels for causing all the evil in the world.

Abdiwahab ran to the pit latrine to relieve himself. Focking cambuulo ! he thought. Soon he was back in his tent. Abdiwahab pondered what military strategy to employ and seemed fathomed until he saw the biography of Josef Stalin next to his gambar. His face lit up.

“Sir, the men are assembled.”

“Okay, tell them I will be out in a jiffy.”

Abdiwahab put on his uniform. The Azanian military was cash strapped and so Abdiwahab had to be resourceful. He wore Bata gumboots, olive green fatigues, a white T-shirt and an fisherman’s hat. He looked awful and more like the cook than the commander. However, Abdiwahab was very deliberate to underdress and let his junior officers seem more senior. He knew the Xarakada snipers and homicide bombers sought out commanding officers and preferred they picked off his decoys Guhad or Patriot.

“Listen you sons of bitches. Don’t salute me, “ barked Abdiwahab who did not want to be identified as being the leader of this group.

My money is on Grandpa winning.

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

[waryaa]

looks like granpa is gonna win this round Meru peeing in his pants and awhab posing as a foot soldier...

food convoy? no, somalis are coming, somalis are coming awahab was too polite to report but it was reported by others as a pants wetting moment for the poor commander.

[zingii]

nicely done duqa.

[quark]

[zingii]

ps, no mention of the doolow group (aswj) & (tfg).

[AbdiWahab252]

ps, no mention of the doolow group (aswj) & (tfg).

Zingii,

They will make a cameo, trust me.

[zingii]

buug haduu ahaan lahaa orod ayaan ku gadan lahaa bay ila tahay.

[BlackVelvet]

“Listen you sons of bitches. Don’t salute me, “ barked Abdiwahab who did not want to be identified as being the leader of this group.

Where's part 2?

[almoha]

Next chapter better start with a Battle where warlord Grandpa winns and Meru regreting all info collected from somali forums going in to bacaadka

[zingii]

I thought the first chronicles was real news until GK got mentioned.

[Murax]

Abdiwahab leapt off his mattress and reached for his AK. He was in shock and wondered if at any moment, they would come bursting into the camp.

“Warya, you are not in this army to think but to obey. Assemble the men now !”

Abdiwahab put on his uniform. The Azanian military was cash strapped and so Abdiwahab had to be resourceful. He wore Bata gumboots, olive green fatigues, a white T-shirt and an fisherman’s hat. He looked awful and more like the cook than the commander. However, Abdiwahab was very deliberate to underdress and let his junior officers seem more senior. “Listen you sons of bitches. Don’t salute me, “ barked Abdiwahab who did not want to be identified as being the leader of this group.
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