I would like to continue this discussion from another forum.
http://forums.islamicawakening.com/f17/ ... top-55055/
This issue of certain thugs who become muslim, start wearing thobes and then marry women without their guardians consent. The main victims of these criminals are Revert sisters and Somali girls. Im sure you guys have heard about these horror stories, laakin nowadays it has become well known even to other muslim communities just the other day a pakistani brother came to me and said ' Akhi, why would a somali girl marry a jamaican guy who has been muslim for 3 months'..Yacnee everyone can see this is doomed to end in failure. Khair you could argue that one or two cases work out laakin the majority when they have fullfilled their desires they dash them back at us. We as Somalis have to pick up the pieces, and imagine the impact on these little girls who cut of their family ties to be with thes losers.
The majority of these thugs just happen to be 'Salafi' and i use that term only because this is what they are known as. In reality they are far removed from the methodology of the prophet (sallahu caleyhi wasalam). And they also mostly happen to be black ex-criminals who bring their gang lifestyle into Islaam, they treat sisters basically like their 'bitches'. And we as Somalis shouldnt accomodate these thugs, nor should we be bullied into allowing them to marry our daughters.
We need to raise awareness about these issues, and all of you men need to take responsibility. And dont be intimidated by accusations of racism, etc.. Its reached a stage where by they have devalued the Somali woman, ive seen guys give one girl a book or a watch as a mehr. We need to protect our sisters inshallah.
one sister sums it up.
Aysha-Abdallah
This topic really makes me angry for the sake of Allah and I didn't want to comment initially but I just wanted to mention a few points that I feel are important.
I have known sisters who have fallen for these deceiving crooks. And these scoundrels do not just prey on reverts alone, very far from it. I have known many sisters personally and others through friends and family who are not reverts, who have knowledgeable maharim that love them dearly and have their best interests at heart but these low life scum still love to prey on them and manipulate them.
Their trick in the case of these sisters is, “Your father is a jahil racist, his reasons for rejection are unislamic and his wilayah is invalid. We can get married without him.” *Bombards the sister with fatawa to justify it*
These sisters are often very naïve innocent zealous in “following Qur’an and Sunnah”, and lack life experience whilst these scoundrels are older not just in age but also life experience, they are manipulative, con artists, rotten to the core.
I will give you a recent example:
A sister studying at uni meets a salafi crook at a shop where she bought something, he takes a liking to her, asks for her e mail so he can add her to his “da’wah mailing list”. Yeah you know the story somehow this “da’wah” gets into phone calls and texts over the phone. Somehow she falls for this crook and sees him as a wonderful knowledgable brother who is the be all and end all.. Who has been hard done by because of his racial background fathers always reject him because of his race. The sister finally tells her father there is someone who is a suitor. This sister was blessed her father honoured this blithering idiot to come to his house in the first place fed him talked to him etc. The father sees this crook to be unfit for his daughter for the following reasons:
(a) He has a complete different background and upbringing from his daughter. His daughter has never had a physical relationship with the opposite gender, she is quite reserved, naïve. He wants a brother who is similar to his daughter, who will compliment her personality and upbringing to make their marriage more compatible in the long run.
(b) His job isn’t steady and doesn’t pay enough to support a wife. His daughter is used to living comfortably, buys what she wants, etc. He knows his daughters life will be restricted if she marries him and after all the “lovey-dovey” phase reality will settle in and she won’t be able to cope living like that!
(c) He prefers his daughter to marry a religious brother from their own race/culture/background because he feels they will be more compatible in the long run and also he feels he can get more background checks for him as his family will be known in the community.
(d ) Most importantly, he is not religious enough because if he feared Allah he would not have e mailed his daughter, phoned her, formed any kind of relationship with her.
So tell me which scholar in his right mind is going to say any of these reasons are haram to reject someone and further valid enough to take someone’s wilayah?!!
“Your father rejected on unislamic grounds. I have a beard I wear a thobe to work I memorised a third of the qur’an I pray my salah in jama’ah what is wrong with my din?! He has gone against the sunnah. He is causing fitnah and fasad on the earth by rejecting me. Blah blah blah.” You get the point.
The sisters end up believing their fathers are their enemies and enemies of the sunnah and are racist juhhal. In the end they get some shoddy imam or “knowledgable” brother to make a nikah certificate and secretly leave home to live a life of “sunnah” with this wonderful knowledgeable pious brother…. Until he gets bored with her 6 months down the line and kicks her out or she finds out he has a couple of wives already with a dozen kids to his name. She has left her entire family for this scoundrel and he in return dumps her out on the road without a second look. What is she supposed to do now? Reality kicks in, she’s been duped, her father was right all along, he’s taken her innocence, made her lose her trust in men, eradicated her self esteem, ruined her life, caused heartbreak to her family, etc, etc.
These idiot juhhal have ruined entire families. I have seen grown men cry like babies because their daughters have left home. These scum know exactly what will happen to the sister when she leaves home, they know exactly what will happen to her family, the heartbreak the distraught the breaking apart of a family but they don't care, they don't fear Allah that is the bottom line.
There is this culture amongst salafis that if your father rejects a suitor for reasons such as the above they are ignorant reasons and warrant the wilayah to be taken away. You need to investigate the fathers reasons for rejecting someone, many fathers have valid reasons behind this! Most fathers reject these idiots because they can see through them. Most fathers want the best for their daughters and they are looking at the long term compatibility not just the here and now.
