It had the sound and aura of a teenage wedding. The kind of wedding when the old folks wish the bride and groom well.
when kids innocently wonder what the fuzz is all about.
Women chanting the buraanbur praising and blessing the newlywed, their parents and their tol have been at work for days.
The feast on camel meat for the men and goat meat for the womenfolk has been going for nearly three hours.
The procession of men in khamis melodically humming the Mowlid was about to start any time before darkness falls.
The parade of khamis wearing men had one objective; to take the groom to his home, his hoori .
Later on when night falls, the womenfolk will bring his qalanjo and literarily throw her into the aqal hoori where the groom is waiting.
For the men and women of the village, the events of the last few days brought back memories of good old times. During the past decades, Somali wedding events just like the somali people have become victims of imported cultures; religious zealots and foreign induced ersatz by diaspora somalis have not only eroded the role of the buraanbur, the saar, the dhaanto, the Seylaci, the Walansaqo, the Kabeebey, the Qaboobey,but also that of the mowlid.
While these traditional dances were an integral part of wedding ceremonies in the past, today they are endangered and replaced by extraterrestrial imported cultures.
You see akhristow,in the good old days, the wedding event was merely a formality in a process that involved the doonis, sabeen, fad/yarad etc.
But this was not a teenage wedding.
Far from it.
It was an uneven wedding- especially when put in the context of the global winds of changes. There was an age difference but who cares when all the parties involved are happy.
Who cares when the process followed the unwritten rules of the xeer in place for centuries; when it involved men and women of high calibre.
Maleele- the fluky groom- has seen his fair share of the joy and tribulations that life offers. He lived in the diaspora for more than half his life. He earned the nickname of Dalmar because of his travels to dhulalka gaalada, kuwa islaamka iyo kuwa dadka madow.
Despite this, he never forgot his roots. He called once every month, remitted money to the needy etc
He was a duco qabe to everyone that know him.
There are dozens of boys who were named Maleele in tribute to his generosity, success etc.
Maleele was nervous about what could emerge tonight after the bride has been thrown into the hoori. This was unchattered territory. After all there were some cultural differences; years in the diaspora have taken their toll on his cultural capital. He has tacitly embraced the relational dynamics of the many countries he had lived in.
However, Maleele was not new to the institution of marriage: he married several Somali women in the diaspora only to realise the institution of marriage in the Somali context could be not only an emotional penitentiary but also daylight robbery at the hands of greedy xalimos.
As an eligible bachelor, he attracted gold diggers and garoobs who were interested in short term hit and run rather than long lasting nuptials.
He occasionally dated non-somali women only to find that there were profound institutional barriers to a happy marriage.
In an attempt to break the vicious marital circle, Maleele decided to try something new. His friends back in Europe who experienced the same kind of marriage woes ended their marital afflictions by marrying women in the shanta soomaaliyeed.
They went to Hargeisa, Mogadisho, Nairobi, NFD and Somali galbeed and felt desired by spinsters. They engaged in what could be termed as marriages of conveniences and settled in these regions.
These were certainly not perfect marriages because of age gaps, poverty induced love etc but who cares? It is a win-win situation for everyone involved. The brides lead a relatively good life while the grooms feel that vindicated after years of what they perceive as victimisation by women, foreign laws and societies in the diaspora.
They feel wanted and cherished.
Oh, what a feeling to be wanted!! Oh , what a feeling to be called aboowe by someone you can father!
The golden rule for diaspora Somalis engaging in this kind of marriage is simple; never bring the new bride to the diaspora; If you do, ka caano maal!
You risk the words “hit the road Jaamacow and don’t you come back no more” and might experience the bacda madow throwing ritual which reportedly become pervasive among Somali women in the diaspora.
Yaanan warka idinku daalininee, nearly two years ago, Maleele decided to give it a try. He rationalised that he had everything to gain.
He was in search mode for some months. He did some basic research; met men in fadhi-ku-dirir who swanked about their newly founded providence of having xuurul cayn in Somalia while their previous wives- cajuusooyin rot in high rise buildings.
He called his folks back home in Somali territories who told him that finding a woman (a good one) was not a time consuming endeavour; it was as easy as saying assalamu calaykum. There were many gashaantos around. Polygamy was allowed and encouraged.
He reminded himself that every uncle, every wadaad, every father that ever fathered a young girl had informed him when he called them that gabar baan ku siiyey. How many times did he thank potential inlaws for the offer and paid sabeen ?
(FYI; it is an insult if you refuse to marry gabar lagu siiyey)
Mobile communications has diffused in the nomadic areas. The “ii soo dhiib” phenomenon has not yet permeated in the pastoral areas. The people here have generally Imaan. Every two or three months, Maleele sent a few dollars for his kin. He was the talk of the village as the person who made it, the guy who never forgot his roots.
With this in mind, Maleele called his aunts to scout for a future wife. No problem they said. Waa adiga iyo dooqaaga they said.
He enquired about the cost of a wedding;, whether he needed to buy some dahab . He was informed that the wedding costs ( doonis, the fad/yarad and the aroos) will be pocketed by the family.
Adiga un ma is keeni kartaa? Was the message.
When he finally arrived, the whole village was out to greet him. News of the bachelor seeking marriage had spread like a wildfire. Every girl between the ages of 15 to 18 was in a xishood mood.
His aunts told him about potential leads; there was Carfoon, Canbara, Marwo, Ardo, Qaali- beautiful, well-mannered and from respected families.
He opted for Meymuna who was the daughter of one of the most respected elders in the village.
The next day, Maleele’s dad accompanied by two elders visited the home of Meymuna; through word of mouth, Meymuna’s family got the information about the impending doonis and was prepared for the guests.
The doonis phase was over after one hour. As expected it was a resounding yes; who would say no to Maleele?
For the last 18 years, Meymuna's parents, relatives and almost every qaraabo prepared her for the occasion; she was well mannered, intelligent and inquisitive.
However, the two did not talk to each other before the wedding night.
It took only a week after the doonis for the event of the century- the wedding - to take place. Two camels and three goats were slaughtered.
People came from the neighbouring villages; women sung the buraanbur, people danced to the tune of the saar/dhaanto and traditional dances .
During a 24-hour period, the whole village was in a celebratory mood.
At 6 PM the qamiis dressed men – the mowlid reciting men- finally made it to the hoori. They made duca for the newlyweds; wiil iyo caano; cilmi iyo caado they uttered.
At about 8 PM, Meymuna was escorted to her house by her friends. Maleele could not believe his eyes. In front of him sat this beautiful girl;
Ilkaheeda waa sida saqaf oo sabuun la mariyey.
Qoorteeda waxaay u deeredey sida tan geriga
Naasaheeda waxaay u taagnaayeen sida gamuunka
Laafyadeeda iskaba daa waa sida haad duulaayo.
Xabiibi, ii waran? he said to break the silence. No response.
Kaaley he said; she responded and sat near him.
He touched her hand, pulled her towards him and decided to give her a kiss. Instead of giving him the long awaited kiss Meymuna shouted, called him gaal and left the hoori screaming; waa gaal, hoogayey…
Yaanan hadalka idinku badinine; Meymuna refused to be his wife. Who would marry nin u dhaqma sida gaalada?
….. to be continued,,, maybe
Ayaanta maxaa layga heela Yaqshiid ee ku aaway duqa?