The phone call

[Lamagoodle]

There are some episodes of your life that do not erode from your memory. Some of these could be horrible chapters in your lifetime. Others could be memorable ones. There are no general rules to identify which memory will persist in your mind but some do because they shape your thought process of yesteryears.

Jeele was a 20 year old bachelor in Muqdisho in the late 1980s.

At this time, Somalia in general and Muqdisho in particular was humming to the tunes of Karl Marx, Fredrik Engels and Lenin. Jeele was a member of the youth wing of the Somali socialist revolutionary party (Xisbiga Hantiwadaaga Kacaanka soomaaliyeed, XHKS) which dictated Somalia's politics.

However, during the last few years of the 1980s, it was clear that the XHKS was losing its compass. Its cadres had become corrupted tribalists, its relationship to communism was on mute mode and its message of Somali nationalism was losing touch because of the dawn of new geopoliticial realities.

The aftermath of the western Somali liberation war was beginning to be felt in towns such as Baidoa, Luuq, Galkacyo and Beledweyne were bombarded by Ethiopian Migs. Balanbaal and Galdogob were occupied by Ethiopians through their lackeys and human rights abuses were committed in Mudug . In the northern part of the country, there were signs of uprising although the genocide did not come yet.

Despite this - at least on the surface- Mogadishu was still reeling and rolling.

Life was good. Very good indeed

There were government jobs and inflation was not a worry because communist doctrine dictated that government controlled production and consumption. Notwithstanding rationing of food and other necessities, it seemed that life was good.

Jeele was blessed to live in Xamar which was the cradle of Somali civilisation.

The crazy warlords, the holocausts, the slaughter of kin and the embracement of wahabism seemed to be very distant.
The daily activities of the young people in Muqdisho such as Jeele’s could encompass the following routine; Jeele will wake up around 6 am and have af-bilaaw ( a cup of tea could do for the immigrants to xamar (the Lamgoodles, the reer koraads etc) but to the indigenous xamaraawi Qaxwa was the norm. At 7 am Jeele will be at his office; around 9 am it was time for breakfast ( beer- liver- was the favourite breakfast of the reer magaal).

Around 2 PM, Jeele will be eating lunch at one the restaurants near his home. They say a beloved child has many names. The restaurants that catered to the needs of bachelors (iskaabulos) had many names. They were called “ Saqiir koriye” “Naag ka roon” “ Safar noleeys”

By 3 PM Jeele is back to his room. It was a bachelor’s den known as IRID BANAAN (open door) . The tenant usually used the outer door of the room to entertain visitors. There was a tacit understanding that girlfriends (or potential wives) could access the room without rising suspicion from neighbours.

Afternoon siesta was very common since the temperatures were in the 40s most of the time.

At around 7 PM, Jeele and his friends will be heading to the sparkling city centre; there were dozens of cinema theatres in the city centre which catered to different demographics; if you loved Indian movies and wanted to hook with a semi-maqabiyo, you could go to Nasra; if you loved Indian movies for biish, you will go to Cinema Africa; If you wanted to watch the Italian league, you will go to guriga hooyooyinka; if you wanted to watch Cowboy movies (Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Jango) and had favourites such as LIIBAAN KILIIF you will go to the cinemas clustered around the daarta Unlaay, Officio goberno (sig) and Crusha del sud (sig). If you wanted to watch detectives in action, then it will be Ekwator or the other cinemas in Hodan, Madina or Shibis.

For the secularist class there were nightclubs in Lido (studio 54 where they danced to the tunes of Marvin Gaye, Cool and the Gang and other Motowners); there was also Jubba and Curuba where Somali troupes likes shareero, Durdur and individuals such as Cumar Shooli (madaalaha) could entertain you. If you wanted to quench your thirst with liquor you could go to the many bars clustered around shabelle. If you wanted to be discreet there was Hotel Garden (aka Ramadaan hotel because it was one of the few that were open during ramadaan).

At 4pm, Sheikh Aden sheikh Abdullahi was on the radio to give undiluted translation of the Quran; his “subxanaalhu man yaa caliimu yaa xakiimu” trademark attracted not only the faithful but also the secular.

For the faithful, there were several mosques that provided religious guidance; the sheikhs were respected old men who used wisdom to pass on Allah’s message.

Clothing wise, the trend was Azzaro shirts for the younger generation and Futishaari for the middle-aged men. For the qaad addicts it was macawiis, kabo buud ah and go’ shaal.

Ironically, the Azzaro brand is an expensive premium brand in Europe even today but it lost its glance in Muqdisho a year after it arrived. When every Lamagoodle wore it, it was no longer fashionable and it quickly became a nickname for the reer koraad. It became a graveyard brand.

For the ladies, the Dirac Jabuuti was making its mark. It was threatening the traditional guntiino. The dirac jabuuti was a transparent garment and for the city lass it was important to have a white gorgorad and matching bra .

There was no public kissing or drunkenness. Prostitution, qaad and Hash were tacitly accepted. In fact, the areas near the Makatul Mukarama road (Buur karoole, Shineema Soomalia) were whore houses but who cared as long as they never posed any threats.

Vice was not well spread though.

Innocent catchwords such as Cismaanka, Cismaanta, dheeylo, ii nuuri, etc appeared. The sources of these words were the Banaadir theatre which challenged the hegemony of the geeljire based culture. The Banaadiris focused on creating scenes, dared dances and beguiling lyrics. Unlike the “Geelena gaashaanka u haay” it was “diiq Maxaas iri”. Instead of long dialogue between two older actors who portrayed teenagers in love which was common in traditional theatre, the banaadiris used young daring men and women and conducted choreographed niiko; I si sisinta.

The Banaadiri induced cultural scene was under attack from traditionalists who dubbed them as a counter-revolutionary that should be stopped but, this soon proved to be futile as they produced post office hits. Words such as “Murti Malaha” , “ waa dhaqan dumis” only added to their popularity.

It was from the above context, that Jeele found himself in the 1980s. He had a job and could make ends meet. He could eat at restaurants, pay his rent, go to movies on Fridays etc but nothing more.

He dated many gashaantos; it was a common and accepted practice to date as many as possible; this general rule applied to even women; there are many fish in the pond but make sure to catch the caviar producing fish 

Jeele attracted the attention of the dhoocils, some garoobs and the occasional gumeeys (best before date). His irid banaan became the harem of seduction (innocent shukaansi). They cleaned his room – sometimes with diesel (nafta) to keep away rodents, washed his clothes and ironed them.

Life was good; very good indeed.

After the cinema visits, Jeele could either sit in front of his irid banaan and smooth talk to potential wives or he could go and have a cup of tea at a bar nearby and watch the Somali poker game of Daba ka eri – not a sophisticated game- but it was the place to go to if you wanted to hear the latest conspiracy theories from the newly arrived Lamagoodles.

Jeele was on his way to one of the bars/restaurant one afternoon when he heard someone shouting “Jeele”.

He looked around and noticed that it was Jamiila, the local-hard-to-get qalanjo of the area. Jamiila was not a dhocil. She was in the same age group of Jeele but slightly older and could fit the narrative of the gumeeys.

Jamiila was very beautiful in the eyes of many; dhexyar, ilko sabuun la mariyey, naaso gamuun ah, gacmo xaad leh, iyo lugo kubka ku yaalo la moodo in janadii lagu sameeyey.

She was not from the muufo eating families which were prevalent in this area. Her dad was a general in the army and her mom worked at the ministry of Foreign affairs. While her school friends walked or took the caasi buses, she was driven in a land cruiser- a relatively new phenomenon of affluence which was beginning to show its mark in Xamar.

It was maybe because of the family background but she was the dream date of every shaxaari. According to the kacsi la bood romour mills, she was suffering from superiority complex (that in itself is a seductive attribute) and could use her family’s sphere of influence to punish heartbreakers.

Jeele, aboowe, seed tahay, she asked in distinct Xamar accent.

Nabad, inadeer he replied.

Aboowe, waxaan maqlay inaad af ingiriska taqaanid marka waxaan rabay inaad foom ii buuxisid; she said
This was the opportunity of a lifetime!

Ilaahey markuu wax kula maago, meeladan ka filineeyninu kaa siiya .He murmured to himself.

Jamiila was on his radar for many years but, he always reminded himself that she was too good for him.

Abaayo, saas uma aqaani afka ingiriiska laakin waan kuu buuxinayaa he replied.

Not wanting to sound too eager added “ hadda aan maqaayada kuugu buuxiye?”

Maya aboowe, beri ayaan kuu imaanayaa she replied.

Waa hagaag abaayo waan ku sugayaa, he said with a smile that was visible in the heavens.

The next day, Jeele asked a neigbour’s daughter to clean the room; he bought new bed sheet and had a haircut, Michael Jacksson style and wore black trousers, red shirt, black shoes and white socks. MJ was very popular and it was not unusual for youngsters to imitate him.

At around 6 PM Jeele started looking at his Seiko watch. He hoped that the other lasses which he was “dating” will not pay him a surprise visit.

This was the day he was waiting for. No spoliers.

At around 6.30 he heard a knock at his door. He opened it and there was Jamiila in the company of her young brother, Baashi.

Why are you punishing me Allah!, he purred.

Soo gala – abaayo maxaan idin dalbaa? Kooka, Isbaramuuto mise Fiimto he asked. Earlier in the day, he had informed the shop around the corner to put a few drinks in the refrigerator because he was expecting VIP visit.

Maya aboowe she said while handing him the form to be filled.

He looked at the form which was a scholarship to a university in Italy and started filling it.

After a few minutes it was over!

Anticlimax !

This was not what he expected! This defied his dreams!

Mahadsanid aboowe waan baxeeynaa she said.

Sug waan idin dhooweyneyaa !

When they neared their Villa – it had a large gate and a guard, Jeele decided it was now or never; he said to himself this is a chance that shouldn’t be wasted. He will ask her out.

Jamiila, he said in a voice that showed some seriousness, waxyar ma kula hadli karaa?

Haa aboowe, she replied while motioning to young Baashi to disappear.

Waxaan rabaa inaan kula sheekeysto. Habeen dambe ma balami karnaa? He asked spontenously.

In the normal circumstances, the xodxodsi is an evolutionary process; you need to meet your date casually on several occasions before you take her to watch a movie; take her to your irid banaan.

But this was not normal.

Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions.

Maxaad rabtaa?, she rhetorically retorted!

By this time, his heart was beating. He was not rational. He was sweating, shivering, and showing signs of glum.
Waan- waan-waan ku jecleyahay abaayo he replied stammering.

War edeb yeelo she replied in a voice that could be heard in Afgooye! Adding “noocaada lama sheekeysto!”

Raali ahaaw abaayo he said and vanished into the cold Muqdisho night.

He came to his room and begun a thought process; why did she embarrass him that way? Was it because of class? Was it because of age (she was after all gumeeys)? Was it because he was ugly?

It can’t be ugliness. He was after all a magnate to the local ladies. It cannot also be her age because women of her age had passed their best before date and would appreciate to be courted by a man as young as Jeele.

It must be something else. He could not discard the possibility that the rejection and embarrassment had to do with her social standing; she was after all the daughter of a general and a diplomat.

He calmed his feelings with the fact that it was her social standing which made her beautiful and attractive. If she was not from the Muqdisho upper class, she would have been the laughing stock of the xaafada. He would have been ashamed even to be seen with her he rationalized.

A few years later at the end of the 1980s Jeele got a scholarship to study in Germany. He left Muqdisho just in time before the rape of the nation started. But, he was determined to come back and do something for his country. He was also determined to meet Jamiila when his social statue rose because of a good well paying job.

Friedrich Nietzsche, the existential philosopher once wrote that the benefit of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. Jeele never forgot this episode of his life. It stuck in his brain.

Time does not erase that kind of humiliation that easily. To be humiliated by a dhocil is fine but a gumeeys?

Life went on. Jeele completed his studies but could not go back home so he ended up in mainland Europe where he got a well-paying job and a good career.

The first question he asked any Somali he met during the last 20 years had been “ Jamiila xxx ma taqaana?” and except for a sporadic “ I know her but I haven’t seen her in many years” there were no real leads.

Then on a sunny August day this year, his phone rang:

Hello he replied; Halloow, Ma Jeele baa? He heard a woman’s voice ask.

Haa, yaa waaye? He asked her hoping that it was not a relative in need calling from Africa.

Waa Jamiila xxx she replied!

To be continued…

[AgentOfChaos]

Jeele was blessed to live in Xamar which was the cradle of Somali civilisation.

[Lamagoodle]

Jeele was blessed to live in Xamar which was the cradle of Somali civilisation.

It was AgentofChaoes.

P.s. this piece was not to discuss Xamar's place in Somali civilisation

[AgentOfChaos]

Jeele was blessed to live in Xamar which was the cradle of Somali civilisation.

It was AgentofChaoes.

P.s. this piece was not to discuss Xamar's place in Somali civilisation

So the birth place of Somali civilization was Xamar? Ok, thank you.


p.s: Will it make you feel better if I said that was funny story?

[Lamagoodle]

AgentofChaos,
Saaxib qaska daa

[MujahidAishah]

AOC

But runtii its an interesting story ...aboowe haye ii wad sheekada waan ku tuqa noh

[LobsterUnit]

Lama=nuradin farax.

[Lamagoodle]

Ashawaqooyi,
"Tuqa noh" maxaad ka wadaa?

From Gaajounit to Baastounit; that is a great leap

Menace wrote a thread awhile back that I was the great Nuradiin;

viewtopic.php?t=314740&p=3796725

Nuradiin Farah is the only somali intellectual I know of and claiming that I am him is very flattering.

[Vivacious]

No lie Lam, but there was a time I thought you are Nuradin Farah.


PS. As always I love your stories, will read this later.

[HayWire]

Jeele was blessed to live in Xamar which was the cradle of Somali civilisation.

IT WAS AND STILL IS, NOW STFU

[Ismail87]

@ agent

Keep it coming Lamagoodle

[zidane88]

Good story. Waiting part II, thanks, LAMA- Goodle.

[Daff]

Good read LamaG

if you loved Indian movies for biish, you will go to Cinema Africa

The number of times Xalimo caught Farax in the act and grabbed his Cali Fanax. Farax begging for mercy to let it go
Insomniac was born in the wrong era, he would be right where he belonged (biish central) aka shinema Africa

[Lamagoodle]

Ismaciil, Zidane and Dafiyomiriq, soo dhowaada. Part two coming soon.

Haywire,iska daa AoC, wuu qas jecelyahay.

Dafiyomiriiqow, I knew that you would know Biish; have you ever taken the Biish express? the buses called "Abuuraas" which took passengers to "Dayniile"?

Kaale whatever happened to the Maqabiyos nowadays?

[Twist]

LOOOOOOL! I laughed when I saw that word 'biish' (didn't hear it for a very long time) and was about to quote it until I saw Daf&Miriq did it.


Amazing story, Lam, and looking forward to the other parts.

PS: The suspense is strong with this one, just where you ended it. Xariif waaxeed! lol