A Woman's Place is in The Kitchen

[BlackVelvet]

Why does that cause so much offense when, undeniably, that's where majority of us actually end up? Regardless of how hard you've worked in school or how good a uni you went to or how many promotions you got, at the end of the day majority of women end up in the kitchen and most of the time with no complaint.

Let's talk straight. The term is made all flowery; nurturers, care takers, home makers, cake bakers but they're all domestic and the work is done mostly, dare I say, in the kitchen. It's good to have the option to be or not to be in the kitchen and no one likes being told what to do. However when you make your kid's birthday cake or afur or whatever, you are in the kitchen. The kitchen is the most important room in a family and a woman, a wife, a mother when in the house, spends most of her time in the kitchen. So why are we still offended? Why are we still resentful and why do we fight the inevitable? Are we in denial?

Obviously it's not literally about the kitchen, it's about being the domestic carer, the chore-doer. But at a time where we've grown up to become capable of making our mark in the big bad world, when we've studied with men and worked amongst them, is it fair and actually is it even possible to turn that off and take up a job as a 'home maker'? Is it just our natural mammalian instincts that make the statement in the title sound not so horrendous anymore when we become mothers? Somali men aside, I think they actually think that they are the ones who need to be taken care of like babies the moment they acquire a wife as though it is part of her job description, more often than not though, domestication starts at that point, when a husband joins the picture. So the question; is becoming a mother the final step of losing our sense of independence and individuality? When your place actually becomes in the kitchen, literal or otherwise. A case of A Woman's Place ends up being in The Kitchen

[SummerRain]

To simply answer your question No. There is never a loss of independance in my view, there is just a shift in priorities and shift in what ultimately becomes the focus of our lives. Personally, I would take great pride in seeing my family enjoy the fruits of my labor in the kitchen.The time a woman spends in the kitchen will ultimately be to her benefit, as that will generate time with her family to be at the table and enjoy time and the foods she prepared for them.
I dont understand why any woman would be offended by the term or ward away from becoming domesticated, after all these are all deemed to be biological and no matter how much they fight it, it will eventually catch up to them and at the worse time in need of these skills.
As for the resentments and possible denial, these just come with just trying to be part of what is labeled success these days. Credit is not given to women who put aside their ambitions and pursue their dream to raise a family fulltime. A successful woman these days is one that makes it to the top of the ladder in ther corporate world... I beg to differ.

[zulaika]

yep, i feel the same way about my kitchen as carey bradshaw feels about her shoe closet.

[Leila25]

If you are happy being in the kitchen, then that is good, its offensive when we are told that is our only place. I would say majority of women go to work and are also in the kitchen, they juggle both. As long as you have the choice to pursue what is best for you, then its fine. Life is what you make it, there are mothers with active social lives and run their households smoothly, others are just a mess. A high flying career does not give you independence or individuality.

[DisplacedDiraac]

My place = Out of this world

[Murax]

[BlackVelvet]

A successful woman these days is one that makes it to the top of the ladder in ther corporate world.

That is ture, a successful girl is one who performs well at school, goes to uni, get's a good job and makes something out of herself. Most people living in the West, as we do, view success this way. Picture a successful wife and mother and an apron comes to mind.

So in some way be it voluntary or not we are to change ourselves, all the lessons and hard work placed into "making something of ourselves" that independence that we created has to be given up when we become domesticated. The more we are pushed or the harder we push ourselves in becoming equal warriors in the battle of gathering resources, the harder it will be to surrender that role to a man.

[BlackVelvet]

If you are happy being in the kitchen, then that is good, its offensive when we are told that is our only place. I would say majority of women go to work and are also in the kitchen, they juggle both. As long as you have the choice to pursue what is best for you, then its fine. Life is what you make it, there are mothers with active social lives and run their households smoothly, others are just a mess. A high flying career does not give you independence or individuality.

Depending on how you were raised you could argue that a high flying career gives you what you were working for for most of your life. You are right that whether or not you give up your career (hence job satisfaction, salary and independence) should be a choice however that choice is less about what you want and more about what your family needs which is noble enough but it is not always, at the end of the day, what you want. You would have worked just as hard, if not harder than your husband to get to where you are but when the time for making sacrifices arrives, you are to make all of them, naturally.

All in all you change from full time full salary independent career woman, to part time no salary mother until you feel guilty and become at the end, a full time hopefully content housewife.

[SultanOrder]

My mom hates the kitchen, she really really does. Especially when she cooks food and everybody is to busy to eat together. She hates nothing more than leftovers, and I think shes going to burn the kitchen down soon.

Womenfolk do yourselves a favor and pick one of two choices; either get enough money between the two of you to hire a helper in the house, or marry a rich man.

[udun]

Hey ladies what does this mean: ragna waa shaah dumarna waa sheeko?

In DJibouti, they twisted a little bit: ragna waa barje dumarna waa sheeko.

Apology is granted if you find it offensive but since the topic is about kitchen, I felt the need to bring it up.

[nafisa.bush]

only a woman who is ugly or have low self esteem is put in the kitchen. Smart women know their place is in the bedroom.

If you end up in the kitchen then take a good look at the mirror.. There is a reason your partner or family came to the conclusion that you deserve to be infront of a stove

[sexy-kitten]

The thing with me is that I'm perfectly happy with being in the kitchen, in fact I think I'm a pretty good cook. I don't get annoyed by that at all, mama knows how to throw it down in the kitchen. I talk cash shit when a man tells me "your only place is the kitchen, go make me tea". That has never happened to me but if it ever did, I'd make the tea, let it cool(cuz I'm not a bitch and I don't wanna face charges), then pour it on his lap .

Women should be OK with taking charge in the kitchen BUT, there's a time & a place for everything!

[Lord Diplock]

Is there a rule somewhere that stipulates that women should cook for men, should take care of the kids, should clean the house, should do all in the home? I met this disabled Somali lady (with 3 young kids) and an appalling husband doing all of the above and here is the worst bit: her husband was abusing her as well, something is wrong with some Somali men..what kind of animal would maltreated such a poor person?

Is this the same in other cultures or is strangely peculiar to us?

To be honest, I don't know whether a woman's 'place is in the kitchen', maybe it is after all...Not many men can cook and most will not accept that role anyway, they would just say: 'sod this man, am finding a woman who can cook for me' . I can make tea, stuff like that, but am sorry I cannot cook meals and I fully expect my wife to cook for me (reasonably) and for me to earn the daily bread.

[BlackVelvet]

@ pouring cold shah on him. Every adult should be reasonably comfortable in the kitchen and not expect to be waited upon, that kinda stuff drives me up the wall, not sure I'd pour stuff on the guy though

@ Diplock, you are one of those men, just marry a low ambition xalimo and you're good to go

only a woman who is ugly or have low self esteem is put in the kitchen. Smart women know their place is in the bedroom.

If you end up in the kitchen then take a good look at the mirror.. There is a reason your partner or family came to the conclusion that you deserve to be infront of a stove

So your high self esteem drives all the way to the bedroom?

[SultanOrder]

I love when I'm served food, the other night I got upset at sister for not making shaah as soon as we came but waited over an hour, her excuse was we were not guests, istuubiraad, I gave her a good talking to and shes going to do better next next time.

Women