MARRIEGE

[RAJ2]

Salaamu clykm brothers and sisters, I am new member and I really happy to see such important comments and advice from different people to many bro and sis. I believe life is test from Allah and true relationship with all will guide you to the right direction.

As ever1 has its own problems in life, we sometimes need correction from brothers and sisters who can see things clearly and better. I would like to share with you my problem, I hope you give me feedback.
I have been married for 7 years and my Mrs was pregnant after couple of months, it seemed everything was going well, but she suddently started not to care about the baby as she don’t want, she would not listen to me and when I keep asked her to check the baby regularly from there I was not very happy and could not care less. Sometime Doctors told her that baby was almost dead for long time and they give her treatment to.
I understand my wife was young and she has no experience but that not excuse to become careless like that and Allah said children are gifts. Marriage has up and down but I always treat her very well with respect and we never had major problems that I can point out now. She also very quite and from decent family but as we carry on our life, my wife would not conceived a baby. as iam geting suspecious I have seen that there is no sign showing me that she wants a baby or she is interested to have babies and there is no sign that show me she wants them. We have been to clinics and they told me that both of us are okay. We also discussed about issue enough times but she say she wants them offcrse. I am making my story short. I see our relationship may be wasting of time because children are important in our life and I don’t want to look bad for just leaving her and offcourse I loved her but I cannot think straight when u think someone is playing games with you in your life. what will you be best advice?

[Abassey]

Assalaamu aleykum to you, brother? I hope you are ok. Well, I do understand that you are in problems that are admittedly painful. However, you should know that problems are part and parcel of life. What's more important is how react towards the problem. Yours is a very delicate and sensitive one. It requires great thought and guidance from Allah. It can be a litmus test. Dealing with it in the right way will lead you a happy life, the reverse leads to a life full of sorrow, may Allah (s.w.) First, NEVER be too fast in making decisions. It can happen that your wife is very sincere with you and that she doesn't use any contraceptives but to you, just because she doesn't seem interested in the joy of life, that is kids, she might be insincere. No. Allah (s.w.) knows best. Secondly, kids are Allah's gift and he gives to whomever he desires. How many have waited for so long only to have twins years later? Be patient and trust your wife, she's your sweetheart and don't always smell a rat. Just put your faith in Allah (s.w.), "work hard" and inshaaAllah, with both of you being sincere and faithful to each other, you will have quadruplets soon. For now, mine is to advise you against any hasty decisions. Continue being the sweetheart to your wife, show her affections, speak nicely about this, discuss, pray together, "work hard", be open to each other, trust each other for GENUINE relationships are based on relationships.
Finally, my brother and my sister, I pray to Allah (s.w.) to give you the joy of life, inshaaAllah. NEVER lose hope, perhaps she has is conceiving now, who knows other than Allah (s.w.)?
May Allah (s.w.) guide, guard and bless us all.
Abass

[Abassey]

Assalaamu aleykum? How are you, my sweet sister? I hope you are ok. Well, it is very humiliating and hurting to have undergone this great problem but just know this: problems are part and parcel of life. Life is NEVER bed of roses, it is about ups and downs, offs and ons. Howevr, all this should only serve to strnethen your resolve towrads a better and sweeter life. That said, I would like to add a few things.
To begin with, you should NEVER lose hope; the worst thing thatt can happen to someone is being desperate. Allah (s.w.) is MOST forgiving, afterall, didn't he forgive a man who killed 100 persons? Sweet sister, stop looking bad, leave the past aside and go forward. Regret from the sin, repent and Allah will forgive you, inshaaAllah. Mine is to tell you, that you are good, you are sweet, that life lies aahead, the past is nothing. Move forward, Islam needs you and we can't affford to lose you, NO. Realise that you are very essential. That the past is nothing. Remember this, that the bitterness of the past can blur our vision of tomorrow's reality, forget the pas and move on, cry becasue you sinned but not that your life is ruined, NO. And what you have cried so far is enough. So, stop. Move on, repent and do good deeds. Remember taht good deeds cancel the bad ones. You should also note that what happens to you in life should act as a lesson to you. Learn from the past and leave it there, move on.
Secondly, and this goes to that inhuman guy. He should know that sooner or later, he will pay for his sadistic acts. He HAS TO pay. NO, you can't just be a sadist and then go scot-free, Allah (s.w.) will make you pay for it.
My final words: InshaaAllah, Allah will forgive you. The past is nohthing to go by, life will just begin now. You are so good and important, you are NEVER bad. I ask Allah (s.w.) to guide, guard and bless us all. Sorry for having written a lot.

[yasmin-uk]

[quote="Abassey"]Assalaamu aleykum to you, brother? I hope you are ok. Well, I do understand that you are in problems that are admittedly painful. However, you should know that problems are part and parcel of life. What's more important is how react towards the problem. Yours is a very delicate and sensitive one. It requires great thought and guidance from Allah. It can be a litmus test. Dealing with it in the right way will lead you a happy life, the reverse leads to a life full of sorrow, may Allah (s.w.) First, NEVER be too fast in making decisions. It can happen that your wife is very sincere with you and that she doesn't use any contraceptives but to you, just because she doesn't seem interested in the joy of life, that is kids, she might be insincere. No. Allah (s.w.) knows best. Secondly, kids are Allah's gift and he gives to whomever he desires. How many have waited for so long only to have twins years later? Be patient and trust your wife, she's your sweetheart and don't always smell a rat. Just put your faith in Allah (s.w.), "work hard" and inshaaAllah, with both of you being sincere and faithful to each other, you will have quadruplets soon. For now, mine is to advise you against any hasty decisions. Continue being the sweetheart to your wife, show her affections, speak nicely about this, discuss, pray together, "work hard", be open to each other, trust each other for GENUINE relationships are based on relationships.
Finally, my brother and my sister, I pray to Allah (s.w.) to give you the joy of life, inshaaAllah. NEVER lose hope, perhaps she has is conceiving now, who knows other than Allah (s.w.)?
May Allah (s.w.) guide, guard and bless us all.
Abass[/quote]this is might be late respond brother, the problem that you have dicrpted is called anti-depression after the brith of child, the mothers are acts like the way youdiscribed andn there i would like you to help of both father and mother as a couple pls respond thanks.