Ray Blumhorst
Is It Unwise for a Man to Marry in Today's Climate of Misandry?
source: mensdaily
August 11, 2007 at 3:06 pm · Filed under Vox Populi
To approach this messy topic in an open forum might just be like jumping into quicksand, but the quagmire of divorce does exist and that sucking sound you think you hear might just be the sound of men's money being pulled unceasingly from their pockets.
If it was just the money being taken away from men the issue could be defined in a narrower context, but it is not. Men's own flesh and blood, their children, are all too often taken from them, some never, or rarely to be seen again.
Statistics vary, but by all indications, it is valid to say, “In the vast majority of divorces it is the biological Mother of the children who winds up with them.” Concomitant with custodial parenthood following a divorce goes child support (if your a woman). The federal government has created policies that incentavise the collection of child support at the state level, creating a system of local government agencies that profit the local government from the “harvesting” of Father’s assets. I did the best I could to verify this on the Internet, but alas I was only able to find documentation at The National Women’s Law Center, an organization wanting more incentives to harvest more money from more Fathers.
http://www.clasp.org/publications/01260 ... rtcuts.pdf
Oddly, I was unable to find a similar 501(c)(3) charity for Father’s or men. By all means, please post the link if someone finds it.
In the vast majority of divorces, the woman files for divorce, not the man. There are many reasons given as to why this is, but the fact remains, it is women who file for the vast majority of divorces.
http://www.pobronson.com/blog/2006/07/w ... s-out.html
“But comparing that data to survey responses of couples after their divorce, women were the ones who were saying that they wanted the divorce more than their husband wanted it.
How often was it that many more of women wanted the divorce more than the men?
2/3. The same as the amount responsible for divorce filings. And yet another study of divorced couples found that the majority of divorced wives and husbands both agreed it was the wife who wanted out.”
Divorce is a subject on which numerous books have been written so an Internet article will never suffice to cover all aspects of the topic. I was able to find significant statistics on divorce on this web site, and I’m sure the reader(s) will be able to find more.
Finding the exact number of divorces in America is an almost impossible task as not every state tallies those numbers. Below is a percentage estimation of divorces in America.
http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html
“...states that keep track of the number of divorces. California, Colorado, Indiana and Louisiana do not.”
and,
"The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. The study is based on the National Survey of Family Growth, a nationally representative sample of women age 15 to 44 in 1995. Bramlett, Matthew and William Mosher. "First marriage dissolution, divorce, and
remariage: United States," Advance Data From Vital and Health Statistics; No.323. Hyattsville MD: National Center for Health Statistics: 2 1.
"Data in the Census report were collected from both men and women, age 15 and over, and a different methodology was used than in the NCHS report.
"About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in
divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages
may end in divorce for these age groups.
As recently as just yesterday, I received a phone call on the answering machine from a friend of a man alleging that he had been arrested numerous times on false allegations of domestic violence. Each time the man was able to show his innocence to the police by corroborating his whereabouts with credible witness testimony, but I had to wonder how long before his luck runs out. Yes, as the caller said, “The police keep rewarding her by arresting him.”
As I have wondered before, in situations like this, “How many false police reports of a felony against him, before the police arrest her on a misdemeanor for filing false police reports?” It seems there is no limit.
If a state like California has no records of the number of divorces, do you think it has any records of the number of women filing false accusations of domestic violence?
As I have stated before in other articles there are over 50 women’s studies programs in California, and over 30 women’s commissions, all teaching and advocating for rights and privileges for women, but there are no men’s studies classes, or commissions for men anywhere. Additionally, there is no counterpoint to the Office of Women’s health in Los Angeles County and there is no counterpoint to the Office of Violence Against Women in Washington, D.C.
To say that America is a “Jim Crow” nation in the area of gender relations would be grossly understating the point, in my opinion. It’s much, much worse than that, in my opinion. Men are not only denied equality, they are denied the right to have separate accommodations of equal status. Just let “uppity” men try to have their own separate (men only) accommodations in the areas above and watch the lawsuits fly from gender feminist organizations - as they have in the past.
Given the above realities that exist in America today, I again ask the question that is the title of this article, “Is It Unwise for a man to Marry in Today’s Climate of Misandry?”
You will probably get a variety of answers from folks, depending on who you ask. Many secular Men’s Rights Activists will flat out say, “Yes, it’s very unwise for men to marry today,” and I would not disagree with them, given the perspective they are coming from.
It appears there are some in the religious community who still advocate for marriage, according to the formula laid out in Biblical text, and I do not contend with their right to practice their faith. Historically, religions like Christianity and Judaism set forth a number of rules and guidelines for marriage, and it is alleged that God will prosper a Christian, or Jewish, marriage in those respective faiths. Curiously, the rate of marriage failures is roughly the same in evangelical Christian communities as it is in the non-Christian world.
http://www.dbu.edu/jeanhumphreys/Social ... almind.htm
In a 1999 national survey, George Barna found that the percentage of born-again Christians who had experienced divorce was slightly higher (26 percent) than that of non-Christians (22 percent).7 In Barna's polls since the mid-1990s, that number has remained about the same.8 In August 2001, a new poll found that the divorce rate was about the same for born-again Christians and the population as a whole; 33 percent of all born-again Christians had been divorced compared with 34 percent of non-born-again Americans—a statistically insignificant difference. Barna also found in one study that 90 percent of all divorced born-again folk divorced after they accepted Christ.9
It appears the Jewish faith has been severely impacted by America’s divorce plague as well.
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history ... Family.htm
Jewish marriages are no more immune from divorce than any other group in North America, in which one of every two marriages dissolves.
Christian churches, especially those following the Calvinist tradition, in my experience, have been quick to point out that the man is the leader of the household so if a marriage fails, the leadership of the man is suspect. Never mind that the legal system of “the world” is specifically targeting the leadership role of the man of the family (Patriarch) for vilification and persecution under today’s Violence Against Women Act. Never mind that the courts view such a husband as a “power and control” abuser in a court of law. And never mind that a number of Churches don’t want to involve themselves with American government, or corrupt laws like the Violence Against Women Act - except to support it.
In Jesus time, Jesus was very upset with the legalistic attitudes of Pharisaical leaders and the legalistic and financial encumbrances they put in the way of the valid spiritual needs of the community. Jesus was outraged that Pharisaical leaders contemptuously treated the valid spiritual needs of the people with exploitive disrespect. How much different are a number of today’s Church leaders from Pharisees, when they blame men for lacking leadership in families, then expect them to tithe from their purses (pilfered by government), then openly support the Violence against Women Act that undermines the leadership of men in their families? How much different are a number of today’s legalistic, Church leaders from Pharisees, when they blame men for their lack of family leadership, then do not confront the evil legal system that works to destroy all vestiges of a man’s leadership position in the family, not to mention stealing his children and money in the process.
#1 In my opinion, a number of leaders of Churches (and Synagogues) in America need to first remove the logs from their own eyes, admit the abuses, yes abuses (sins), they have helped heap on good men for years through their overt negligence, overt ignorance, and overt irresponsibility, in confronting anti-family gender feminist laws and policies.
#2 In my opinion, a number of leaders of Churches in America need especially to confront the evils of government following the example of our Founding Fathers, most of whom were Christians. This is America, not Caesar’s dictatorial Rome. When being tested by legalistic Pharisees/Herodians/spies who asked Jesus if it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, Jesus held up a coin and asked one of the leaders whose image was on the coin. The answer was, "Caesar's."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Render_unto_Caesar...
The emporer at the time Pontius Pilate was procurater of Judea was Tiberius, although an older coin might have portrayed the image of Augustus.
Tiberius Caesar AugustusWhen Jesus held up a coin containing the image of "Caesar,” and said, “Render unto Caesar, the things which are Caesar‘s...” he was basically saying to obey the rules of government in the realm of government. In this representative form of government it is “We the people” who are the ultimate rulers of America. In my opinion, a number of Churches have not been following God’s command to “Render unto Caesar...” and do their duty as outlined by our Founding Fathers who, again, set up this form of government. A number of Church leaders need to get off their posteriors and confront this government according to God’s command to “Render unto Caesar (government)...” in my opinion.We already have a representative form of government in place so I’m not asking for nearly that sacrifice that this Christian leader gave to the establishment of America. Today’s Church (and Synagogue) leaders need only use the peaceable means of government to confront the evil’s that spawned the war against America’s Fathers and men - if they would but do that.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Muhlenberg
Toward the end of 1775, Muhlenberg was authorized to raise and command as its Colonel the 8th Virginia Regiment of the Continental Army. After Washington personally asked him to accept this task, he agreed.
Given the sorry state of affairs we find ourselves in today in family relations, as a nation of gender feminist laws, it is my opinion that it is extremely unwise for any man to marry.
Given the sorry state of affairs we find ourselves in today in family relations in a number of Churches and Synagogues across America, it is my opinion it is extremely unwise for any man to marry.
Ultimately, the decision to marry (and accept the high risk of a divorce), or not, is up to each and every adult considering entering that institution.
