dawwa9 wrote:The only thing I should be worried about is the corrupt Kenyatti border patrol between Kenya and Somalia.
Not the people in Kismaayo.

The only passport they fear is the American passport, and then comes the British. Everything else they want to bargain on. When you are going from Nairobi to Mombasa or the coast, there are NO POLICE except at night and even then they never get on the bus or search. When you are going from Nairobi to the adoon land in the West to Nakuru, Naivasha, Kisumu, or from there on to Rift Valley and Eldoret, etc there are also NO POLICE and that road is better paved then many roads here in America. This is because that is the adoon homeland and they built their roads. Also, I was told Saudi Arabia provided millions to build a road going to Garisa and Somalia but the Kenyans used that money to make the roads to the West and their homelands better.
However when you are going north to the Somali lands, once you pass the last adoon town called Mwingi (settled by the tribe called Mkapa) hell starts. When you are going away from Nairobi, the bus goes through many checkpoints but is not searched. Lakin the road is really bad up to Garissa and after Garissa there is no road!

There really is no road and all hell breaks lose. Every geeljire gets a ride, this is my seat doesn't work, its stinky, hot, and humid and the bus is literally going 20 miles per hour on hardened SAND. Every two seconds the bus leans one way so far you just believe it is going to fall but then those crazy drivers manage to get it back up. When you are going north no police, but when you are coming back to Nairobi EVERY TEN MINUTES the bus goes through a checkpoint and soldiers board the bus screening everyone. If you are carrying an American passport, they treat you like a King if you are carrying a British passport they treat you like a prince, other Western passports they treat you like nobility and then everyone else is focked going through brief but intimidating interrogation.
One of the times when I was coming back there was a fool who was complaining all day (and he is like 45) about the "bad roads" "everything is else" "dhib badanaa" and you know this guy just left this environment max 10 years ago was annoying the schit out of everyone rubbing it in their faces that he is from the West and I knew he had to be one of those taken from the baadiye and to a city in the West. Heck I was uncomfortable as hell and was only accustomed to U.S, but did you see me complain and rub it in everyone's face that I was not accustomed to their situation? Best reaction from this guy was when the soldier stuck out his hand and the guy gave him a Scandinavian passport. The officer said in heavy African accent "you are from Swedish....or Mogadishu" and then laughed, the guy looked embarrassed wallahi saying in focked up Somali and Scandinavian mixed English accent "I am from Somalia but live in Sweden" then an old Somali man piped "war ileen ninka maanta dhan na daaliyey shalay buu Somalia ka yimid".
You will not be bored on those buses but the soldiers are b.astards and if you are ever alone Dawaa, you are focked. Trust me. Somalinimo doesn't work as well. The Somali soldiers are worse and more corrupt then the adoon soldiers. Adoon soldier will have mercy on an old woman, the Somali soldier wants bribe even for babies.
The best bet for you if you really want to go to southern Somalia is to go all the way to Mandheera which is the last stop of the bus, going thru Gariisa and Wajeer, and then take a cab to Beled-Xaawo. From Garissa to Jubbada Hoose border is full of muqalis (human traffickers), police, army, refugees, no roads, etc. But then if you go through Beled-Xaawo you get popped because of aano qabiil.
