Source: mensdaily
Richard L. Davis
Dating Violence or Domestic Violence (Connecting the Dots: Or Not)
2009-03-15 at 12:19 pm · Filed under Analysis, Domestic Violence, Feminism, Law, Media, Men and Mating, Society, Vox Populi
Cause, remember: no matter where you go?.[pause] there you are.
–Buckaroo Banzai (1984)
The below survey apparently took some professionals who educate and work with young people in Boston by surprise:
Survey: Many Mass. Teens Say Rihanna To Blame; Nearly Half Of Participants Fault Singer
Perhaps forgetting that the survey was about “dating violence” and not “domestic violence” a Boston University professor said the survey results are a troubling sign about youth attitudes toward domestic violence.
Another professional said that the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown can serve as a launching point for parents to speak with their children about dating violence. Apparently the professionals believe that teenagers need to understand that assaultive dating behavior is almost always the fault of the male. They believe the lesson is simple, females are the victims and males are the offenders. These professionals do not seem to understand why the young people have so much difficulty understanding this simple concept. After all, it has been taught for decades now.
However, because most professionals seem stunned that almost half the teenager (46%) would blame the female and not the male, I?m not sure how well equipped parents are to talk about dating violence offending and victimization.
At least he identified the issue as dating violence and not domestic violence. Then again because, as the Boston University professor notes, dating violence can be a precursor to adult violence victimization, is there really a real difference?
A young lady in a TV interview seemed quite clear she knows what the problem is. “Everyone knows that it is just wrong for men to hit women.” Yes we do! But apparently there are still far too man educators, researchers and interveners who still do not know that it is wrong for one person to hit another regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation or severity.
Nevertheless, the Rihanna and Brown incident should serve as a launching point between domestic and dating violence interveners, researchers and the electronic and print media. It appears that none of them are aware of something called The Boston Youth Survey (BYS) or the Harvard Youth Violence Prevention Center.
If they were aware of the BYS perhaps they wouldn’t have been stunned or surprised by the results of this most recent survey. The results from the 2004 BYS Survey document that 7% of boys and 8% of girls have experienced recent physical violence by a dating partner. And 5% of boys and 7% of girls report sexual violence by a dating partner.
Both professionals and layperson alike would have also discovered that 67% of males and 70% of females reported that they were involved in verbal conflict. And 47% of males and 50% of females reported that they had pushed, shoved or slapped someone. They would have also discovered that 39% of males and 36% of girls reported that they had hit, punched, kicked, or choked someone. Recognizing the traditional 5% survey disclaimer, this aggressive, assertive and assaultive behavior is approximately equal between males and females.
Most teenagers are also quite aware of the fact that when a bigger and stronger person gets into a fight with a smaller and weaker person, it is the smaller person who most often suffers the injuries, regardless of who initiates the incident. They are also aware that when someone initiates assaultive behavior, it is illogical to then claim that your initial assaultive behavior is somehow retroactively self-defensive.
The above BYS data, apparently unknown to many professionals, policy makers and members of the electronic and print media in the Greater Boston Area, is real life and not simply survey data for many young people.
In an open letter the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) excuses ? no surprise here - the behavior of Rihanna but not Brown. A visit to the NCADV website reveals the NCADV care not a whit about the offending of females and victimization of males.
However, most young people are aware that both males and females need to be and should be held accountable and responsible for their assaultive behavior regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation or severity. The young can connect the dots while the professionals seem to have lost them.
