Xaliimo was a very beautiful and hot gabar. Her qurux was like jowharad that would make you sleepless for nights. She is boqorod and full of suuro and jinniyo, the kind of girl that most of ciyaal xaafad would love to be with. She was tall, dhiig furan and with a super model physique. She had a big booty and dhaxyar.
She had a wicked smile and heavenly indho-deero that would make you think of the Xural Ceynta janadda.
They say jaceylku is blind and makes you jileec. From the first day her family moved into our xaafad, I was struck by her qurux and wanted inaan ku dhaco. Somehow, ma helin a chance. One day I saw her walking in the suuq buying some dirac for the coming aroos party in saturday habeen at Habaryar isniino's wedding hall, doing hard gorgorton, getting cilaan on long fingers and gacmaha xaada lah, getting her timaheeda garbaha jooga done, and chilling with her girfriends. I tried my best to overcome my unnatural xishood and went straight to her to say “ abaayo, iska waran? My name is Faarax”. I wanted to be cool and self-confident and I wanted to let her know jaceylka aan u qabo.
After my is-maqiiqin and indho-adeeg, I found myself in front of her, frozen and speechless. My geesinimo went out of the dariishad. I couldn’t even dheh xataa one word. I started to gariir and dhidid. I was like a tiny leaf in a small Geed caught in a dabeel waalan ala tornado. After a daqiiqad or two. I was able to jooji the trembling but the sweating waa iska socday like fire hydrant ciyaal fureen in a blazing summer day. What an embarrassment!
She qosol at my awkwardness and lack of geesinimo. So did the other Xaliimos that were with her. I neceyb them fat and fulxumo chicks that are always with her like body guards. They remind you of that song: Buur buuranaayee alla ma buunsheey cuni jireenee. And specially that dhuxul gubatay la mood Faadumo Gaab. Her shortness is like a ganbar lugaha laga gooyay.
Xaliimo looked me kor iyo hooos and walked away from me with jeesto, giggling and laughing. I could hear Faadumo Gaab saying ….what an alwaax!!.
I wished I was meyd aan nooleeyn but I was breathing si xoog badan. I regained myself control and started to orod from this fadeexo like a tuug maalin cad la qabtay. I went straight to my guri, and went to my qol, slammed the albaab behind me, jumped on the sariir, found my go’ and barkin and started to hide myself from the yaxyax and jac that followed me all the way from the awful is-biimeen and ill-choreographed ku-dhacoow. After hours of painful shalaay and galgalasho, I fell into a nice hurdo. Dreams , qarow and riyo became my comfort, I dreamt of her, she was with me in the sariir, lying by my dhinac and giving me warmth. I was in Jano Aduun!
Knock, knock on the door and loud bang woke me up of what could have been one of my wild imaginations with Xaliimo. It was my little hyperactive walaalkeeyga yar, waking me up with his usual feer and faralaab. What a little nuisance that I have to adkeeysi him walaahi on daily basis as if beat him my hooyo would call all my adeero gardheerayaal who will then take me to masaajidka and keep me there for wacdi. He spoiled my dream and I had to beat the hell out of him and vent all my ciil on him. He ran away to the qolka fadhiga. I ran afer him. She was there. Xaliimo was there, sitting with my abaayo and hooyo. I was only wearing one duluf macaawiis .She could see my skinny feero and hairy xabad. Again, I stood there like alwaax and speechless. Embarrassment fooqul embarrassment! This inkaar again?
Xaliimo and my heartless abaayo started to laugh at me. My hooyo started to tuur her kab on me. “war nacasyahow, soo gasho shaar, gabar baa kuu joogtee” Hooyo shouted me. I ran like tuug la qabtay talo ma leh back to my qol. I didn’t want to go back to fadhiga.
Knock, knock on the door and it was my pitiless abaayo this time. “ war marax yhaow soo bah, gabar baa ku sugeeysa” she taunted me with her challenged but improving Somali luqad she boowsid from dariska. We have loud and bad-mannered new Somali daris fresh out of the boat.
I wanted to say “bax naga tag” but that was not ragnimo thing to do. I took my shukumaan and went straight to musqusha, titir my face and get the fiish out of my indho, brushed my coffee stained ilko dhaadheer. I took a cold shower, get out of it and started is qalajis and qurxin, combing my jareer hair with shanlo, and putting some lotion on my dry skin. I came back to my qol and changed into a nice shaar and surwaal jeans and went straight to fadhiga, Xaliimo was there sitting in the fadhi carbeed; eating buskut, xalwo and drinking qaxwo qaraar like she is a marti in Eid celebrations. She looked and smiled at me. I sat horteeda and murmured something that sounded like a salaan.
My mother started her obvious marmarsiyo to excuse herself and others to let me be all alone with the quruxleeyda na soo booqatay. “ war maxamed iyo asli, kaalaya iiga soo qaada the threadmill from the basement” and they all left fadhiga to the basement. I kept silent for a daqqiiqo or two and Xaliimo started to break the ice by saying “hooyadaa is cool!” I was like “yeah” and then I asked her what she is doing in our Guri. “ I came to see you. What you did in the suuqa maanta was amazing. I saw qof waalan but wax jecel and I felt that jaceeyl.” I couldn’t believe it. I was like is this another riyo or real? Gabartu dhiiranaa!!!.., A Xaliimo so geesi to come to you Guri to ask you out! lama arag lama maqal! this must be A joke! “ Look Faarax, aboowe you are a nice guy and I would like us to know each other better and yaa og what could happen” Xaliimo continued. I was like this is crazy shukaansi and sheeko unlike I have seen. A xaliimo, so daring and bold. Yaabka yaabkiis, All I could say was “Haye”like baari. “one of us has to have the initiative and be the man….you made the first move oo waa igu dhacday , … so I fakir inaan retun the favor and come to you.” All I could say was “haye”again like caano madaadshe “ so you know meesha la iga helo and here is my number, I soo wac, aboowe” she stood up and walked toward albaabka. I followed her and u furay albaabka and like a gentleman did little bit of sagootis that was kind cool saan u maleeynaayo. As I closed the door, I started to jump and shout with farax. “YES! YES!” Waanba iska hilmamay all the embarrassment for the day. I was jumping and shouting for dhowr daqiiqo unaware my surroundings and who is around my geeso and hereero or not. God is good..ilaaheey ma ku gargaaraa mise ganfuur ganfuur.. my joy was on the roof and caadaas!
My hooyo, abaayo and little devilish brother were all in front of me ..with yaab and qosol at my weird moves. I didn’t give damn about them. My sister Asli again flexed her newly acquired taunting repertoire of Somalia on me with her carabla’ accent she said “ walaahi ahadkan waa la soo haayaa” She can't pronounce the Xa and Ca in Somalia and sounds like a Gaal speaking Somali.
The end
