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HELWAA wrote:

zulaika wrote:

HELWAA wrote:BV

A man cant even control his own body let alone a whole person.They think they have control laakin iyaga ayaa la maamula...masaakin.

helwaa,

there can't be 2 leaders in the home..one person must follow. are u a follower?

A follower? bisinka...never been one huuno and never will

aah.. a born leader.... so you will make your husband follow you?

Seriously a man who foloow his wife is weak in my opinion.Naagtó inay ninkeeda ka danbayso waye , ninkuno waa inu naagtisa ixtiraama oo naagtisa kala tashado wax yaalaha muhiimka ah.

helwaa,

taasi waa laga wanaagsanyahey huuno. ninku raganimadiisu waxeey ku xirantahey leadershipnimodiisa, soo nin rag ah in uu ku guursada doonimeysid?...dee odeyga isu yara dabci and give him the chance to lead u...

I already edited my post read it again.

Zuli...Qofka inu kaligi wax kasta iska goosto maaha...yes isaga ayuu ilaahy masuuliyada saarey laakin wa inu ninku naagtisa la tashada.

black velvet wrote:Some men seem to be of the opinion that marrying a younger girl will mean they can control her. Yes of course, if her brain is not developed enough for her to use her own judgement she would be more susceptible to influence. In this case you controlling her to suit your own selfish needs is child abuse because that is what she is, a child.

Ignoring the child abusers, how likely is it for a man to be able to "control" his wife? Especially today with most women being able to provide for themselves?

A husband can become very influential in his wife's behaviour towards him if he does the right things.

A- Good sex, every time she is reminded what she will miss if she screws up. Sure, most men can fuck but can she gamble on the unknown out there? Waa maya. B- Good manly behaviour(He never argues with her even when he has the right to do so and she is wrong, specially on the occassions where most women go off without provocation, it could be that period of the month, so she needs a break, let her vent, hadhoow bitch-slap her when she gets her senses back, yes, in Bed). C- Taking responsibility, never letting the wife play the role of a husband in the marriage, if she is professional, she makes good money, the man should never ask her anything financial, let her give on her own if she wants to, a man should have such a pride that he never asks anything of his wife PERIOD. He is the man, let him own his balls utterly. I would rather starve to death than let a woman give me sustenance, dhulkaan tir tiri lahaa just to make money and eat out of my own sweat, she can keep her money.

D- What am I missing? yea, I mentioned good sex, learn how to please her if he doesn't know how, heard a lot of complaints throughout the years that a lot of women are left their bed needs unmet.


So, with the right attitude and ragannimo, a man can influence his wife, doesn't matter whether she is young or old, she knows what she will miss if she messes around with a good man. I would be controlling my wife without being a control freak, it should be psychological and a war of the minds between us. Nothing less. Also, sometimes I will be willing to square off with her to let her understand she can't bully me just because I choose to be quite.

This probably has nothing to do with the topic in discussion. But a few years ago, I had this white co-worker who was a really cool guy. We used to talk about the usual stuff and one day he tells me he and his wife are part of this group. I assumed he meant he was a swinger, but turns out once every month he lets his wife get serviced through some agency that deals with married couples. Kulahaa his wife is in to black men, so he lets her get done over by them and this happens at some hotel. He pays for it, she goes out one weekend and gets boned. Comes back home and all is well. He claims its better than her cheating on him, costs the family more money if she was sneaking around, she can catch STDs, etc.

I was speechless. Walahi gaalnimo dhibkeeda ma yaro. Whenever I remember this incident, I'm reminded of what can terribly go wrong when you give a woman too much freedom. Could never look at the guy straight in the eye after that, shit.

Militant,

In other words this man is what they call "DAYUUS"

Tolow siduu u seexdaa duligu

Kinetic wrote:

black velvet wrote:Some men seem to be of the opinion that marrying a younger girl will mean they can control her. Yes of course, if her brain is not developed enough for her to use her own judgement she would be more susceptible to influence. In this case you controlling her to suit your own selfish needs is child abuse because that is what she is, a child.

Ignoring the child abusers, how likely is it for a man to be able to "control" his wife? Especially today with most women being able to provide for themselves?

A husband can become very influential in his wife's behaviour towards him if he does the right things.

A- Good sex, every time she is reminded what she will miss if she screws up. Sure, most men can fuck but can she gamble on the unknown out there? Waa maya. B- Good manly behaviour(He never argues with her even when he has the right to do so and she is wrong, specially on the occassions where most women go off without provocation, it could be that period of the month, so she needs a break, let her vent, hadhoow bitch-slap her when she gets her senses back, yes, in Bed). C- Taking responsibility, never letting the wife play the role of a husband in the marriage, if she is professional, she makes good money, the man should never ask her anything financial, let her give on her own if she wants to, a man should have such a pride that he never asks anything of his wife PERIOD. He is the man, let him own his balls utterly. I would rather starve to death than let a woman give me sustenance, dhulkaan tir tiri lahaa just to make money and eat out of my own sweat, she can keep her money.

D- What am I missing? yea, I mentioned good sex, learn how to please her if he doesn't know how, heard a lot of complaints throughout the years that a lot of women are left their bed needs unmet.


So, with the right attitude and ragannimo, a man can influence his wife, doesn't matter whether she is young or old, she knows what she will miss if she messes around with a good man. I would be controlling my wife without being a control freak, it should be psychological and a war of the minds between us. Nothing less. Also, sometimes I will be willing to square off with her to let her understand she can't bully me just because I choose to be quite.

psychological? war of the minds?

seriously what is it with these farax and the Mr. and Mrs Smith mentality horta.

that is not a healthy marriage huuno..

you shouldnt need to controll you're wife, your wife should know her role and accept you as the leader from the Day you marry her. Other wise your marrage is due to fail very soon.

Kambuli,

Dee dadkaan iimaan ma lahan! Plus they've already done every sexual act in the book plus some before they even climbed the marital bed, thus they easily get bored. Waxaana laguu soo koriyay a culture of "you can have whatever your heart desires as long as you go & get it." Marka I'm not very surprised now. Dayuus alert did go off in my head initially, but since he's gaal warkiisa cadeystey, dayuusnimo doesn't apply to him. Sometimes not knowing is better.

Kambuli the sad thing is that he would even worry about her cheating on him

Western Man has been soo destroyed by western culture that he is no longer a Man

black velvet wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote:BV I think that this is a reaction to today's society, where today's women do not need many for anything other than having kids and some don't even use them when they can go to a sperm bank.

God put man in charge of women because he is able to bring income, leadership, and stability to the family, but now women have almost equal input into that area so the area's man is in dominance has been withered slowly and deliberately. Im not saying that women before did not work nor did not bring income but not in the way its done today, so what are we left with what power do we hold over women to submit to our leadership.... nothing... she can leave raise her children on welfare, work and get free daycare...

so what does this lead to- an insecurity that drives men into the extreme of finding the qualities they find attractive in women i.e. innocence, youth, and a dependency to them that they desire.. in short... younger and younger women.. so the truth is ..... INDEPENDENT WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE AND ITS NOT CUZ WE ARE INSECURE BUT IT LEADS TO AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Very good analysis PO, couldn't have said it better myself. I have to disagree with the last statement though; it is because of insecurity. There is nothing wrong that because such a female/being with such a female can be intimidating. A relationship like that can only survive if both parties are down to earth and balanced.

The reason for my last statement is that for most not all relationshipsto succeed are based on a mutual need for one another, with the man as the provider and the woman as the nurturer, fahamtu, I think that marriage is the most difficult relationship there is, where it takes a lot and I mean a lot to keep two people together. Therefore it needs something other than love to act as glue to the relationship, especially at the hard times of marriage life and if a woman's emotions or a "mans" let it get the best of them what force of dependence is strong enough to pull them back together, especially if the women is in no need of a man other than for procreation and a man can find another women easily. It's a sad picture but its not the time where people were married for life is the norm.

zulaika wrote: psychological? war of the minds? seriously what is it with these farax and the Mr. and Mrs Smith mentality horta. that is not a healthy marriage huuno..

All actions we take elicit/evoke, engender a reaction(positive or negative) equal if not more to that which we do/did. If a husband respects his wife, she will respect him back as much unless she is naturally mean spirited(most somali women are mean spirited anyway). Without seeking to control a person, you can get them to do your bidding by setting a good example and carrying yourself well. That was my point ----> The psychology part. War of the minds is for the more refined married couple trying to add spice to their life, those who seek to avoid the kind of marriage most somali couples have, produce kids and let the environment raise them for ya whilst you collect welfare and the husband sits at starbucks talking about his fucked up Qabiil or picking on another.


Yours Truly
Mr.Smith(Without the Burden of Mrs.Smith ).

y wld ani1 wnt 2 take the responsibility of controlling another person? The married couples live together so they shld work together not 1 workin 4 the other.

Kinetic wrote:

zulaika wrote: psychological? war of the minds? seriously what is it with these farax and the Mr. and Mrs Smith mentality horta. that is not a healthy marriage huuno..

All actions we take elicit/evoke, engender a reaction(positive or negative) equal if not more to that which we do/did. If a husband respects his wife, she will respect him back as much unless she is naturally mean spirited(most somali women are mean spirited anyway). Without seeking to control a person, you can get them to do your bidding by setting a good example and carrying yourself well. That was my point ----> The psychology part. War of the minds is for the more refined married couple trying to add spice to their life, those who seek to avoid the kind of marriage most somali couples have, produce kids and let the environment raise them for ya whilst you collect welfare and the husband sits at starbucks talking about his fucked up Qabiil or picking on another.


Yours Truly
Mr.Smith(Without the Burden of Mrs.Smith ).

okie dokie then..