Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?

[Abdi_westldn]

Im not making a point for house husbands...You seem not to understand the concept of self respect...its not about money, its more about class...and you and your friends need it in bucket loads. They sound trashy. Thats all I was saying.

Lool and why am I being included with my dear friends as trashy? Anyway only reason your saying they sound trashy is cause they"re dating white girls iiga leexo if you cant say what your thinking. By the by if your not making a point for house hold husband nor are you making a point against it may I ask why your on this topic?

[gedo_gurl]

1st of all....this topic isnt about househusbands per se...its a big problem, and a big question....its hard to take a stand.

2nd of all I have friends who are with caddaan women too...the difference is that they dont treat them like ATM's and feel them up in public, I see men who respect themselves and their family. I think your friends are scummy chavs.

[udun]

Niya,

Is it how much you take home or how much you get it on paper? Keep in mind 100K on paper comes down to 5K after all of the taxes and other deductions are deducted from a paycheck of someone who is married and has 2 kids. If you are a single, tough luck, you are even taking home less. Believe me you will find people without proper job skills who make much more than that. A guy in Nairobi East Leigh district with two small clothing shops could be making roughly 20K - 30K a month whereas a fella with good degree and what you would describe a good decent job in the USA could be taking home with 4K or 5K, so my sister (I am assuming you are a lady according to your name but if you are not, no pun intended, you have my apology) don't let the money that is written on the paper fool you. It is what you take home that should be good enough for your expenses and if you loose your job and could not find a job for let us say at least a year or if you have an urgent financial difficulties and lawsuits. If the money you are taking home can do that, say Alxamdulillaah.

For me, success means being healthy with my lixda lixaad (Alxamdulillaah) and having a decent job that I can pay my bills. Keep in mind Allah is the best provider.

[Abdi_westldn]

1st of all....this topic isnt about househusbands per se...its a big problem, and a big question....its hard to take a stand.

2nd of all I have friends who are with caddaan women too...the difference is that they dont treat them like ATM's and feel them up in public, I see men who respect themselves and their family. I think your friends are scummy chavs.

You know I really have no interest in defending them what they come of as is really different from what they are.....but one thing I do know is that if anything they are not only a credit to their families but also a credit to their gf"s for they stood by them teaching them Islam now two are already muslims. This isnt really a problem for anybody other then black women cause they like asian men are being left behind so lets match up all the black women with the asian men and viola problem solved.

[Beenaale_No1]

Depends what you mean by successful...there are loads of successful nurses and teachers who get married....mise one only becomes successful through money? If its money, then yeah thats a huge problem...its a about masculinity....men like to feel needed, Ive seen it even amongst my friends..they like to be responsible and in charge. If that gets taken away from them, even the most liberal of men will begin to resent his wife slightly.

Women who earn a lot and are educated will have a lot of trouble on their hands...as someone here said, a successful man rarely needs or wants a successful woman. If he is working all day, and she is working all day...when will they see each other? Who will look after who? Someone has to stay at home with the kids...someone who has 'made it' doesnt need the second income, they'd prefer someone who looked after their other assets. Sad as it might sound but there is an economy to marriage...who the hell still believes in love?

The Somali race will die out just like the black race in the States is systematically being washed away. Successful Somali women will continue to marry other races and their male counter parts will do the same. Unless more Somali men get into higher education and stop emulating AA by not achieving academic success and going straight for the money...that gap between them and the sisters will remain. Ill tell you why, going into university changes the way you think...you might not realise it but you do get institutionalised to think differently. I've noticed it even on these forums, the brothers who go to Uni are usually the ones who are the least sexist, the ones who think in a balanced way. The others (I only mean those who had the chance and opted out) failed miserably with and hated, women. The couple who have both been to university might not agree with one another, but they can see where the other is coming from...I.E THEY CAN ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE!!

The woman who said something about finding a brother with "potential" is an idiot...how did she expect that one to work out...of course he was going to find a dummy who liked **** more than ambition.

African American women have it the toughest and Somalis are not far behind. There will come a time when neither exist.

I need to stop rambling, that didnt make a lick of sense....and Someone ban ghost...he is a troll and an attention seeker.

I agree with everything you said, apart from the Uni thing. A person that goes to Uni does not make him an intelligent rational person. University is a glorified institution. I've seen plenty of sexist misogynist [Somalis and non-Somalis] idiots graduate from Uni with flying colours. They're not the type of men you want to associate with.

Everything else you said is pretty spot on. The only thing that bothers me with women in general is that they don't want to marry down in terms of pay scale. They need to have a perspective on this. One of the reasons so-called successful black women can't find a man is because they limit their own options - a lot of it is their own wrong doings. I'm not suggesting anyone should marry a bum on the street, but money should not be the main objective when finding a man. This isn't such a big problem with Somalis, but I've seen it with other black women.

[Addoow]

Can you blame anyone really....Cause there really is nothing like a white girl especially one that has a booty. Its so true I catch myself lusting after them more often then not only self control stops me at times but white women have another advantage over other females. They lack the so called attitude of non white females who are successful....matter of fact I do have quiet a few Somali friends who their white girlfriends literally pay for everything from their smokes to petrol in their car and yet their relationship doesnt feel so awkward because the white girlfriends know their role. I actually agree with Gedo girl a time will come when somali men and women wont marry eachother in the west and that honestly isnt so bad.

Men have become so precious nowadays,precious than a diamond.lool enjoy life to the fullest while you can.

seriously though sxb,This is what i was trying to say.But the Question still remains,why most successful black men marry and want to settle down with white women? what kind of attitudes or physical traits do they have which attracts blacks ?
The AAs are history sxb,No amount of Organized Polygamy can save them.
Also why successful blackwomen remain single? why cant they date out instead of complaining and ranting? does it mean whitey doesnt find them attractive?

These women are strong,indepedent and successful they dont need a man at all,who needs a random male to boss you around anyway ?lol

As for the somalis,It isnt a major problem but if this trend continues, I will not be surprised at all waayo,We have lost one important aspect of our calture-arranged marriages-It still occurs but rarely.

sxb,Our girls arent exotic and mysterious as they used to be anymore,remember what other races call them.

[gedo_gurl]

Abdi,
Why did you make out like they just took their money, smoked cigarettes with them and had PDA's all over the place. You should be careful how you present something because I only reacted on the info you gave there...Im glad they are not like that.

Beenale,

Not all men who go to Uni come out like that, but they meet women who have the same ambitions as them and see things from their perspective. It wont change a person completely, but I learnt things about myself and the system...and my place in the system whilst at Uni so maybe Im pushing my experiences on everyone.

I noticed too that they limit themselves...self respect/respect for others, ambition and intellect is all a man needs...Thats the problem with many black women, they dont think long term...If a man has money but you're willing to compromise on everything else...you have a ticking time bomb. With that said...sadly some men dislike the idea of a woman who has more potential than...or at least he thinks she does. ...Its emasculating for some men to be 'heblaayo's husband'.

[sexy-kitten]

What is the definition of successful? In my book any-one making less than 6 figures is not successful.

Success is relative...amongst the impoverished communities...earning 3 times the minimum wage would make them successful.

Ghost...You try to hard but the results are weak. Come again.

Sexy...we all want babies, and those babies need real life daddies.

You're right and we do want babies but why shall a successful woman wipe herself on tghe floor? I've seen a nurse with a dead beat, I personally know a woman with a Master's degree, she's preparing a PhD and she has a dead beat. Seriously, successful women need to stop being desperate and go window shopping before they put all their eggs in one basket. Come on lovely ladies, let's not settle for less.

[Basra-]

"Not all men who go to Uni come out like that, but they meet women who have the same ambitions as them and see things from their perspective. It wont change a person completely, but I learnt things about myself and the system...and my place in the system whilst at Uni so maybe Im pushing my experiences on everyone. "


gedo its funny that u speak and see yourself from the 'Mans' perspective. Very interesting.

[udun]

Depends what you mean by successful...there are loads of successful nurses and teachers who get married....mise one only becomes successful through money? If its money, then yeah thats a huge problem...its a about masculinity....men like to feel needed, Ive seen it even amongst my friends..they like to be responsible and in charge. If that gets taken away from them, even the most liberal of men will begin to resent his wife slightly.

Women who earn a lot and are educated will have a lot of trouble on their hands...as someone here said, a successful man rarely needs or wants a successful woman. If he is working all day, and she is working all day...when will they see each other? Who will look after who? Someone has to stay at home with the kids...someone who has 'made it' doesnt need the second income, they'd prefer someone who looked after their other assets. Sad as it might sound but there is an economy to marriage...who the hell still believes in love?

The Somali race will die out just like the black race in the States is systematically being washed away. Successful Somali women will continue to marry other races and their male counter parts will do the same. Unless more Somali men get into higher education and stop emulating AA by not achieving academic success and going straight for the money...that gap between them and the sisters will remain. Ill tell you why, going into university changes the way you think...you might not realise it but you do get institutionalised to think differently. I've noticed it even on these forums, the brothers who go to Uni are usually the ones who are the least sexist, the ones who think in a balanced way. The others (I only mean those who had the chance and opted out) failed miserably with and hated, women. The couple who have both been to university might not agree with one another, but they can see where the other is coming from...I.E THEY CAN ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE!!

Provided that we don't take and believe what they teach us in these schools at face value. There is a lot programming that is taking place in these schools, particularly, those women studies courses, and the extreme feminism that is so prevalent in this forum should at least be avoided or re-examined by the sisters. It could be a dangerous trend if we take it from the class and apply it on the Reerka right away. OMG, that is a recipe for disaster. I suggest sisters should look at what they are learning in these schools and really advocating for is compatible with Islam, and if it doesn't, then throw it out of the window and all of that booga booga of `women's freedom` that comes with it. I suggest to our Somali and all Muslim women obey their husbands according to our diin and if the guy is a jerk, then there is a option that is open to you and you know that option.

I should thank you tough for encouraging us to go back to school. I have learned lately in this forum that my bachelor tech degree is not good enough and I should go back to school and get more including polishing my English since many people here think that in order to argue, you should have superb English. I will also tell every body that I know there is a Somali lady who is encouraging all Somali men to go to schools and get educated or they will loose their wifes, loool. BTW, you sound like someone that I have run into before. Are you that formidable lady that I have chatted many times before in other forums? It looks like it. Any how, I want to thank you for warning us that you either go back to school or stand the chance of loosing your good and 'well educated' Somali women to foreigners including gaalos. It is a wakeup call. But guess what eedo, who is going to do the fadhi-ku-dirir for us?


Thanks.

[Paddington Bear]

Too many pages to read. Is this a Stella Got Her Groove Back or just a Waiting to Exhale thread?

[Abdi_westldn]

Can you blame anyone really....Cause there really is nothing like a white girl especially one that has a booty. Its so true I catch myself lusting after them more often then not only self control stops me at times but white women have another advantage over other females. They lack the so called attitude of non white females who are successful....matter of fact I do have quiet a few Somali friends who their white girlfriends literally pay for everything from their smokes to petrol in their car and yet their relationship doesnt feel so awkward because the white girlfriends know their role. I actually agree with Gedo girl a time will come when somali men and women wont marry eachother in the west and that honestly isnt so bad.

Men have become so precious nowadays,precious than a diamond.lool enjoy life to the fullest while you can.

seriously though sxb,This is what i was trying to say.But the Question still remains,why most successful black men marry and want to settle down with white women? what kind of attitudes or physical traits do they have which attracts blacks ?
The AAs are history sxb,No amount of Organized Polygamy can save them.
Also why successful blackwomen remain single? why cant they date out instead of complaining and ranting? does it mean whitey doesnt find them attractive?

These women are strong,indepedent and successful they dont need a man at all,who needs a random male to boss you around anyway ?lol

As for the somalis,It isnt a major problem but if this trend continues, I will not be surprised at all waayo,We have lost one important aspect of our calture-arranged marriages-It still occurs but rarely.

sxb,Our girls arent exotic and mysterious as they used to be anymore,remember what other races call them.

No offense but a somali girl cant be exotic or mysterious to us cause they are all the same....as for arranged marriages is no better then a forced marriage and Id rather remain a bachelor then be forced to marry a girl I dont want. But you know Addow if anything we are integrating into our societies which obviously includes inter marriages and Im really not against it ruunti a girls a girl what difference does it make if shes not somali she"ll still give me kids a family and comfortable house to come back to. Dont be too worried about what other races call somali girls cause if your not going to marry them its definitely not your headache lol.

Gedo Girl please dont try to flip it on me you just wanted a good rant thats all no reason to front....how is your day anyway?

[gedo_gurl]

Looooooooooool @ Basra...you know what I meant!

Udun first and foremost, your English is perfect. Secondly I wasnt talking about learning Western Feminism at school...more the environment, seeing girls have ambition and studying with them demystifies what it means to be an ambitious woman because you yourself are around them more and understand that they arent doing it to get back at men, rather they are achieving because they want more for themselves.

I think going to University and having a specialised skill and the contacts that one can gain from it make it a worthwhile investment. I hate it when people make out that Uni is the be and end all too, but getting ahead in the system is profitable for all. I dont know who this formidable lady is, would love to meet her lol I only use this forum and SOL occasionally.

PB - Its a mixture of things

Abdi - youre the one who made your friends look cheap, not me...see the bit I highlighted earlier? How else could that be read. And I dont rant My day has been great so far, how about yours?

[gedo_gurl]

SexyK...I dont blame them for being scared of loneliness, but they really do need some perspective I agree. Maybe you should match that nurse up with a nice guy?

[Hyperactive]

if success is money, i'll never be successful.
man, my dream is to have my quran school in small town in malysia and have my own school of thought and see my students go all the walk of life. anikana aqal yar and sijayad isaka seeho. Allah meshas iska aabudo.

no stress, no bills , no materialism.