SomaliNet Forums

nauticalforcast » Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:22 pm

Hi there,

I do not believe it is anything to do with you being African-American unless she is a complete asshole; you are both two young black women on the same boat. Secondly, you won’t resolve the issue by bringing up irrelevant issues such as her nationality and background. From what you wrote it sounds that you are focusing on her background way too much (coming to Snet itself is indication of that). See her as a roommate who does not get along with you. Is she a roommate from hell apart from not being social? If not count yourself lucky because you never known what an African American roommate from hell could have been.

You said you tried to invite her to a clean ‘girls’ night out. May be this is where you are getting wrong. You are deciding for her what is suitable what is not. It might even nothing to do with that but her personality. She might have refused to go out with Somali girls too (I many times declined to go to Somali weddings etc. it is who you are).

As for men coming over: I think depends on the space. Is it too small that she has to use the bath and toilet in front of them? Or is it she wants to remove her Hijab to relax?
For the former, it is not because she is a Muslim but wanting privacy as a woman. The gym I used to go accommodated only women in which the majority of its members were non-Muslim women. They just want to feel comfortable and have privacy.
As for the later, she needs to make compromise. For example, staying in her room, observing her full-clothing etc.


Also if you do not mind me saying this, your use of ‘we’ rings the alarm. It is plain wrong to be discussing about her. The least it shows is that you teamed up against her.

Re-her bossiness (though that does not make sense in relation to the way you described the situation), it may be that you are misinterpreting her assertiveness as bossy.

Simple, see her as somebody who is dealing with life (and being away home) on her on ways. We all get frightened when we start new life. I was hell terrified when I started university.


Just be yourself; do not interfere or offer her anything. Communication is two way street. But if she violates your rights to live in the room, stand up to her by any means and you have my support.

But please whatever you do, do not bring the issue of nationality into it.

tell the chicken head to shut the f up..or rush her if you have to

i joke i joke.. just get her drunk.. spike her drink or something

somaliduu waa bilaah dhaqaan iyoo bii laa diin!!

When a girl acommodate western style of drinking, being loud and sex on the beach (ooh i meant sex in the corridors and pubs), we say oooh dhillooo
hoyadayd ayaa dhiloo ahayd!! iyoo reerkowda ooh dhaan baa talyaniduu iyoo ingrisskuu wassii jiray!!


On the other hand when (like in this case) we hear a somali girl who stick to her dhaqaan!!
what do we say??
gaaladaa ayaan futadaa uu luulnaa like here and say: ooh kick the bitch out and something like that!!

Bloody students.

Well before answering u, some informations r needed:
i) R u Bantu? Do u have Bantu facial features?
ii) is your other african roommate Bantu too?

If your answer is yes to all these questions, leave that place asap!

never interact with people from the Horn of Africa (countries like Ethiopia , Somalia and Eretrea ), they kill Bantus!
drink their blood!
Its believed that they take bath with their blood too.
In their cuisine certain part of Bantu womens body is considered as delicacy

B.

Walahi, i can't believe the nacas ridden replies here. Do you guys want inanta in la waso and she starts zippin khamri? Daya, let her teach these folks some lessons. wa rageedi, this girl,

Walahi, i can't believe the nacas ridden replies here. Do you guys want inanta in la waso and she starts zippin khamri? Daya, let her teach these folks some lessons. wa rageedi, this girl,

illahoo naa sii gabaadh xafidad aah!!

From what I understand of Somali culture, this roommate of yours is probably desperately trying to avoid being gossiped about, which going outside with african-Americans, being seen with people drinking, or being seen with men would do.

Inevitably within days, this news would reach her mother via what I like to call the "Somali Coffee-Shop gossip exchange network" and she would be neck-deep in trouble, but worse, the entire Somali community would be making jokes about her.

This is also the reason why inevitably any secret in Somalia never remains a secret for very long.

From what I understand of Somali culture, this roommate of yours is probably desperately trying to avoid being gossiped about, which going outside with african-Americans, being seen with people drinking, or being seen with men would do.

Inevitably within days, this news would reach her mother via what I like to call the "Somali Coffee-Shop gossip exchange network" and she would be neck-deep in trouble, but worse, the entire Somali community would be making jokes about her.

This is also the reason why inevitably any secret in Somalia never remains a secret for very long.

Kani wa jiin

From what I understand of Somali culture, this roommate of yours is probably desperately trying to avoid being gossiped about, which going outside with african-Americans, being seen with people drinking, or being seen with men would do.

Inevitably within days, this news would reach her mother via what I like to call the "Somali Coffee-Shop gossip exchange network" and she would be neck-deep in trouble, but worse, the entire Somali community would be making jokes about her.

This is also the reason why inevitably any secret in Somalia never remains a secret for very long.

Kani wa jiin

the best solution is to move out or exchange room mates. I'm suprised that they putting muslim conservative girls with party all western girls, all in one room, they should have matched according to the culture and religion.

I know how uncomfortable it feels when you have to share a room someone you don't understand their behavior and culture.

one way she will respect you, is if you tell her that you want to learn about her religion and culture. like visiting the local mosque with her a day or two, and going to a Somali restuarant with her once a week and talking over issues. also you could share with her your culture and family. like showing her pictures of your family, taking her to restuarant (no pork or alcohol, don't take her to clubs). you will get closer and closer, as you share stuff and learn from each other.
the point of having a room mate is learn from each other cultures, religions and expriences, not to gossip, hate, and spread rumors behind your backs.
but if you and your other room mate party and talk while you isolate her and talk behind her back, it just makes things worse. there is only a couple weeks left of the winter break, so act and live like a family, all of you have the same color, so you should act like sisters and respect each other, and forgive each other.
also try to learn the culture and language of Somalia online, such as google, wikipedia and this website, and you may suprise her sometime, as she already speaks your language, but you never tried to speak her language.

I'm suprised that they putting muslim conservative girls with party all western girls,

waar this girl moved away from her family to live by her self and you talking about conservative muslim girl lol

Walahi, i can't believe the nacas ridden replies here. Do you guys want inanta in la waso and she starts zippin khamri? Daya, let her teach these folks some lessons. wa rageedi, this girl,

No thats what she wants.. thats why the lil xalimo moved out of her familys house

Well before answering u, some informations r needed:
i) R u Bantu? Do u have Bantu facial features?
ii) is your other african roommate Bantu too?

If your answer is yes to all these questions, leave that place asap!

never interact with people from the Horn of Africa (countries like Ethiopia , Somalia and Eretrea ), they kill Bantus!
drink their blood!
Its believed that they take bath with their blood too.
In their cuisine certain part of Bantu womens body is considered as delicacy

B.

not cool at all leave the girls alone. Stop creating hate between opressed peoples. We need to unite against the rulers.

gabadhey iska dhex aragtey balaayadaan. Maxaa daba dhigey dhalashadeeda oo ilaa iyo halkan keeney .

From what I understand of Somali culture, this roommate of yours is probably desperately trying to avoid being gossiped about, which going outside with african-Americans, being seen with people drinking, or being seen with men would do.

Inevitably within days, this news would reach her mother via what I like to call the "Somali Coffee-Shop gossip exchange network" and she would be neck-deep in trouble, but worse, the entire Somali community would be making jokes about her.

This is also the reason why inevitably any secret in Somalia never remains a secret for very long.

......OR she is actually a religious/conservative girl that doesn't want to mingle with Non-Muslims...

Americans tout themselves as open minded and accepting but it is only if you conform to their way of thinking otherwise they will think there is something wrong with you and you need to be fixed.