SomaliNet Forums

I know that this topic has been done to death, but I feel I should give my analysis on Somali parents relationship with their children:

Somali Mothers
First of all somali mothers go through many hardships in raising their children. The overwhelming majority of them are first generation immigrants/refugees and they have probably seen brutal wars in their lifetime. However, they also for the most part neglect their children, whether intentionally or unitentionally e.g. not taking any interest in their son's/daughter's schoolwork. The main issue here is the language barrier; where the mother cannot speak a word of her country of residence's language or barely speaks it.
Another issue is, they have far too many kids to look after so they cannot divide their time equally for each child. This could be due to, a lack of support from her 'husband'. Nevertheless, they also do so much for their children.

Somali Fathers
Where to start, somali fathers could be blamed for the majority of relationship breakdowns with their children, although it isn't always the case. The main problem with them is that most of them seem to have a 'balwad' (bad habit) which is the cause of these breakdowns. Examples of these balwads are: khat, cigarettes - which are the obvious ones; friends; and women. The first few are the obvious choices and I guess you can all quite make out why they could cause family problems. Next is friends, you might think how is this a balwad, well, there are some men who value their friendships greater than their role as a father and a husband e.g. instead of interacting with their children, when they are off work, they spend their time 'chilling' with their friends, probably playing cards or just hanging outside coffee shops/somali restaurants*. As for last one, women, again you might think how is this a balwad, well my reasoning is that these are men who neglect their responsibilities as a husband and more importantly as a father by chasing after younger women e.g. there is this family I know that their parents recently divorced and since then their father has cut off ties with them and suprisingly before then he was a good father who worked full-time and actually took interest in his childrens school activities. But that is all no use now since he moved back to somalia and they only hear from him every now and again.

* For those of you whole live in London, you kind understand this point if you live in an area with a high concentration of Somalis i.e. Harlesden, Wembley, Southall etc.



BTW guys don't mind my ramblings, I just thought I should vent my frustations on the already problamtic people known as 'Somalis' Also I wouldn't mind reading your thoughts on this topic.

sounds f*cked up...

^
I know

Kinda agree.

Somalia mums generally have done a great job. They act as both the mother and father of the household in a foreign country. Can not commend them enough and may Allah swt make them the people of paradise for their efforts.

Somali fathers- em well generally they havent done a good enough job. Not all fathers though. However its easy for us to criticize and harder to understand. Most fathers did a great job in bringing their families to the west and giving their children a better chance at life.

Nobleman, this wasn't a generalisation of all mothers and fathers, but a view of most cases I have heard of in the UK.

Inadeer we can blame the parents, the education system, housing, community groups etc, all day long but the simple fact is, this(living in the west) was not design for us to thrive, flourish, progress or prosper whatever you want to call it, the sooner we realize this the better. Yes its true there are those who managed to build themselves successful life here but the vast majority, im talking about 80%+, life is a loosing struggle, the problems are mounting up each year, things we used to hear only in stories, are now real in almost every family, (household), direct or indirect here in London or 'the west'.

we need to focus less on who is to blame and figure out a way out!

Before you judge others, judge your eating bindging disorder. Will u say, it is the cause of all your obesity problems?

Before you judge others, judge your eating bindging disorder. Will u say, it is the cause of all your obesity problems?

Basra when you become a mum or are you a mum.

Whatever, would you let your son date girls and have a girlfriend or many girlfriends?

Inadeer we can blame the parents, the education system, housing, community groups etc, all day long but the simple fact is, this(living in the west) was not design for us to thrive, flourish, progress or prosper whatever you want to call it, the sooner we realize this the better. Yes its true there are those who managed to build themselves successful life here but the vast majority, im talking about 80%+, life is a loosing struggle, the problems are mounting up each year, things we used to hear only in stories, are now real in almost every family, (household), direct or indirect here in London or 'the west'.

we need to focus less on who is to blame and figure out a way out!

I agree that the route to these problems starts with living here in the west.