Salafi Marriage Bandits.

[Nanees]

Lillahiya killed it. I swear malmaahan I can marry a Somali guy and still feel like I'm in an interracial relationship because of how little our generation knows and cares about the dhaqan. Whether its with the arab wannabees, white washed frat boys, or gangsta hood rats.

I will play the devil’s advocate and say sometimes its better not to have ‘too culture men’ cos we all know us ladies had the worst end when it comes to marriages.

my point is whats the difference bwteen marrying a madhow convert in a khamiis and a new slate than a somali gangsta wannabee with fubus and no knowledge of the culture :/

[Saraxnow]

I don't know how we can approach this without statistics. How many have the dhaqan (.i.e. speak the language, understand elders and their culture), how many are ''ajanbi-wannabees'', what is the male:female ratio of marrying outside the race, what is the female:male ratio of valuing dhaqan or religion, what are the female:male ratio to practicing the deen etc.

So many questions

[KingMJ]

Ain't no one gonna settle for a cheap imitation when they could get the original. A large portion of Somali male youth in the west emulate AAs & adhere to the black subculture. I bet everyone knows a handful of guys who are choppers or aspiring rappers or trying to get drafted in basketball or are professional criminals, constantly in & out of the bin. So if this is the lifestyle our brothers, relatives, and male friends are endorsing, then why is everyone up in arms when a Somali girl marries an ex-con? Indeed, our Somali walaalyaal are doing a fine job at being buckets, but shidh just isn't the same when you get the real deal. Instead of settling for a Somali guy who wholeheartedly believes he's from Kingston, Jamaica, why not marry someone who is actually from there?

Then we have brothers who've seen the light, reformed and will swear to God they're Arab. You'll find them at the masjid, tryna to string together the only 6 Arabic words they know into what they think is a coherent sentence ( i.e "Kayf ya habibi, macasalaama yallah bes"). Refuse to wear a macawis or any other cultural clothing, yet are always rocking dishdashas/khamiis on the day-to-day. Don't care to go back home but are saving up their money to move to some gulf state. They'll own all of Sami Yusufs cds and blast them in their car, but refuse to play Somali Nabi-amaan. So it's really not much of a surprise as to why Somali women end up with ajnabis. Regardless of how hard our men try, by skipping all this make-belief, a sister can get her authenticity on with an actual ajnabi instead of settling for second best. By imitating other ethnic groups, there is a concession being made that our dhaqan is inferior, and this is internalized by all parties.

As for Arabs/Pakistanis/Afghanis allowing their women to marry ajnabis, they do. Their interracial marriage rate is probably much higher than ours, however since there are more of them, it's less noticeable.

This post made a lot of sense and opened my eyes to something I never thought of.

Lillahiya killed it. I swear malmaahan I can marry a Somali guy and still feel like I'm in an interracial relationship because of how little our generation knows and cares about the dhaqan. Whether its with the arab wannabees, white washed frat boys, or gangsta hood rats.

Then again the gangsta hood rats and the arab wannabes are usually phases there not like that all the time, only majority stay like that there whole lives. So there is another side to the story we mustn't forget like alpha said

[Alphanumeric]

I don't know how we can approach this without statistics. How many have the dhaqan (.i.e. speak the language, understand elders and their culture), how many are ''ajanbi-wannabees'', what is the male:female ratio of marrying outside the race, what is the female:male ratio of valuing dhaqan or religion, what are the female:male ratio to practicing the deen etc.

So many questions

This isn't a simple "who dunnit?".

But sure, blame the guys. If it helps. We have no culture, and that's our fault.

[Nanees]

Then again the gangsta hood rats and the arab wannabes are usually phases there not like that all the time, only majority stay like that there whole lives. So there is another side to the story we mustn't forget like alpha said

yeah you're both right theres a whole other side to this (the female side), and somali chicks are pretty effed up these days lakiin how many of those chicks do you know that aim to marry the sweetest and most innocent dude they can find

[Beans]

If everyone who replied here stays true to their values and respect their parents advice and decision when they tell them no to brother Ibn Tareeq,maybe there is some hope.

[Colonel]

Lillahiya killed it. I swear malmaahan I can marry a Somali guy and still feel like I'm in an interracial relationship because of how little our generation knows and cares about the dhaqan. Whether its with the arab wannabees, white washed frat boys, or gangsta hood rats.

I will play the devil’s advocate and say sometimes its better not to have ‘too culture men’ cos we all know us ladies had the worst end when it comes to marriages.

my point is whats the difference bwteen marrying a madhow convert in a khamiis and a new slate than a somali gangsta wannabee with fubus and no knowledge of the culture :/

So these are the only options?

[Alphanumeric]

If everyone who replied here stays true to their values and respect their parents advice and decision when they tell them no to brother Ibn Tareeq,maybe there is some hope.

What do you mean?

[Nanees]

I will play the devil’s advocate and say sometimes its better not to have ‘too culture men’ cos we all know us ladies had the worst end when it comes to marriages.

my point is whats the difference bwteen marrying a madhow convert in a khamiis and a new slate than a somali gangsta wannabee with fubus and no knowledge of the culture :/

So these are the only options?

no of course not, but this is a topic based on the extremes so the choice is based on the extremes. If we were talking about the hundreds of thousands of decent somali bros with jobs and family values then this convo would have ended with post one

[Adali]

wow i find myself agreeing with several posters(this rarely happens around Somalis) almost entirely, briliant ! Alphanumberic and Lillaahiya.

[KingMJ]

Then again the gangsta hood rats and the arab wannabes are usually phases there not like that all the time, only majority stay like that there whole lives. So there is another side to the story we mustn't forget like alpha said

yeah you're both right theres a whole other side to this (the female side), and somali chicks are pretty effed up these days lakiin how many of those chicks do you know that aim to marry the sweetest and most innocent dude they can find

What do they aim for then?

[Nanees]

Then again the gangsta hood rats and the arab wannabes are usually phases there not like that all the time, only majority stay like that there whole lives. So there is another side to the story we mustn't forget like alpha said

yeah you're both right theres a whole other side to this (the female side), and somali chicks are pretty effed up these days lakiin how many of those chicks do you know that aim to marry the sweetest and most innocent dude they can find

What do they aim for then?

Lets be real, they aim for whoever will take them the double standard is ridiculous.

[FAH1223]

What is Somali culture?

[Beans]

If everyone who replied here stays true to their values and respect their parents advice and decision when they tell them no to brother Ibn Tareeq,maybe there is some hope.

What do you mean?

I mean if everyone respected their parents and got full consent and approval before marrying someone.

[Alphanumeric]

wow i find myself agreeing with several posters(this rarely happens around Somalis) almost entirely, briliant ! Alphanumberic and Lillaahiya.

She argued for culture, and that a brother who upholds the Somali dhaqan would attract these girls. I argued these girls do not want the dhaqan and that the culture in itself is dieing/non-existent in the diaspora. I'm not sure how well our posts coincide, though it could be argued I'm simply tackling the source of the problems her post touches on.

Fah

Beans, go back to my posts please. The family unit is dieing in the diaspora. It barely exists.