Is this feeling OK

daiman · Postby **daiman** » Thu May 17, 2012 8:13 am

I said this to someone who is a relative of mine ( a year and so ago). I am still angry the way he responded which was ' waxa qoran wey qoran yahiin, maxaa niyada iskaga dileysaa'

I did not understand where that came from since I was not old or anything. I said similar thing to a cousin of mine and she did not believe me.

But walahi, I feel I do not want to have children. I do not see myself bringing up children for such a long time( another 18 years).

am I selfish?

but at the sametime somalida would look at you differently. I saw them feeling sorry for childless old people.

Twist · Postby **Twist** » Thu May 17, 2012 8:26 am

Are you a male or a female horta? Just an honest question as I don't know.

PS: More and more people feel the same way lately due to many different reasons/factors so you are not alone. Plus, it's better to do what makes one comfortable (i.e like not having kids) than have kids just to make family and relatives happy and be in an unhappy relationship. If you don't feel like it don't do it.

daiman · Postby **daiman** » Thu May 17, 2012 8:45 am

I am female. i wanted to spell dhayman/dheeyman, it became daiman.

Twist · Postby **Twist** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:05 am

PS: If you pronounce it like Somali it becomes "da'iman" which is an Arabic word that means "always/as usual."

AgentOfChaos · Postby **AgentOfChaos** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:07 am

I don't see why you need people's constant reassurance whether "it's ok" or not, it's your life and your decision, not theirs.

Tuushi · Postby **Tuushi** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:08 am

The issue with women being indecisive abt having kids is that they might not be able to have any when they are sure they want some kids.Unless,one is open to the idea of freezing eggs for future use.

Postby **Shirib** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:00 am

kids are an investment daiman

Postby **Lamagoodle** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:05 am

kids are an investment daiman

Shirib; how are they investments? do you mean they substitute as an insurance policy? a factor of production? Help you amass "ajar"?

All those are questionable

Daiman, sometimes the mere mention of destiny (waay qoran yihiin) as a reason has a therapeutic value.

sexy-kitten · Postby **sexy-kitten** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:05 am

You don't want kids now but watch when you reach 45-50 and all your friends have teenage kids or mid 20s. You'll be giving them the
"if only I had kids

" eye.... The evil eye.

Postby **Shirib** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:13 am

kids are an investment daiman
Shirib; how are they investments? do you mean they substitute as an insurance policy? a factor of production? Help you amass "ajar"?

All those are questionable

Daiman, sometimes the mere mention of destiny (waay qoran yihiin) as a reason has a therapeutic value.

lamagoodle,

they're an investment because when you get old they're there to help and take care of you, like you did for them. Having kids also puts a new kind of love in your heart.

Postby **Lamagoodle** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:17 am

Shirib,
Widaayow, you have adopted the "insurance policy" argument. If you live in a welfare state or saved alot of money then you will not need anyone to take care of you. As much as we deny Money talks.

As regards the pyschological argument that is difficult to uphold. Successive studies have shown the contrary.

Postby **Shirib** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:20 am

Shirib,
Widaayow, you have adopted the "insurance policy" argument. If you live in a welfare state or saved alot of money then you will not need anyone to take care of you. As much as we deny Money talks.

As regards the pyschological argument that is difficult to uphold. Successive studies have shown the contrary.

It's not just about money. Elderly people can get sick, lonely, etc. If you have kids, they can take care of you, come visit you etc. It's always good to be able to have your children around to take care of you rather than in some home for the elderly

Postby **Lamagoodle** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:25 am

Shirib,
Widaayow, you have adopted the "insurance policy" argument. If you live in a welfare state or saved alot of money then you will not need anyone to take care of you. As much as we deny Money talks.

As regards the pyschological argument that is difficult to uphold. Successive studies have shown the contrary.
It's not just about money. Elderly people can get sick, lonely, etc. If you have kids, they can take care of you, come visit you etc. It's always good to be able to have your children around to take care of you rather than in some home for the elderly

I understand if you are talking about people in developing countries. But, when it comes to many industrialised countries (in particular welfare states) your children do not take care of you. The emotional aspect remains " it is always good".

Shirib, did you read Robert Malthus?

Postby **Shirib** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:27 am

Lamagoodle,

In Somali dhaqan we take care of our parents when they grow old and I plan on keeping it that way.

No haven't read Malthus

greenday · Postby **greenday** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:29 am

Waa caadi i myself dont see me as a "mother" but i know children are a blessing so

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