A tale of Naaso's
Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:28 pm
It has been long since i posted a funny Hyper comedy, so my dear Somali-neters--here i do indulge thee in a manner of sheer kindness. 
I was roaming and skirting around the village, idle, bored and simply upto no good when i happen to come across a corner of a xafaadh, It was secretly situated between mareehan and Mj popular village, on the left of the great fruit market. As i happen to unaware-dly stumble upon careful low murmurings of two voices, my curiosity peaked to a zenith length. Naturally, i grabbed my long, dragging over sized dhirac, and quickly approached or rather followed where the voices were coming from. In my Great delight i happen to recognize whose voice it was that was so enigmatic and secretive. It was none other than Odeey Hyper and a very mysterious short plum girl of about 16 or 17 at the most. I could visibly see them through sneaking out my head, and consequently my eyes by simply protruding my head on the corner brick wall. Sheikh Hyper appeared nervous and agitated. He was sweating on his forehead, he constantly removed his reading glasses to wipe of sweat from under and over his eyes. Naturally, again, my penchant for gossip and desire peaked astronomically. I began to hyperventilate as to What was causing all this secretive gesticulations and wiping. Certainly, everyone in the forum recognizes my obsession with my dear Odeey Hyper. Thus, i decided to take my humongous hand bag and put it down so i may sit my fat behind and listen to the developing saga in a comfort of high delirium. Thus the conversation began:
"Abaay-- i dont have a lot of money. I am a poor man. I am not rich. Why are you blackmailing me in this horrific way. Can you not be afraid of Allah swt? " Hyper pleaded to the mysterious teenager, sounding ever desperate.
I sat up, adjusted my left breast and decided to stand up as this juicy dialogue could not withstand me sitting down. Hyper continued:
"day and night i ask Allah to hide my sins and mistakes. marka Qof Allah eebtisa o asturay maha lo eebeyni? wahas wa inkaar. ha ika inkaarsanin
ino Allah eebtaada asturo in youmel qiyaamah."
Again-- i was flabbergasted as to the content of that last brief paragraph. It contained bombastic gossip material and high sensitive matter of curiosity that i could not but stand nervously and adjust my right breast-- given i did not wear my bra as i figured i was just going to the market. Not to mention counting on the blessing of maybe encountering hyper on the street and corrupting his beautiful pure deen mind. But at this juncture i was lost in my own vice for the love of gossip. Hyper made a mistake>? A sin? He prays day and night for Allaah swt to hide his sins? Ladies and gentlemen, u can imagine my rampant congruent orgasm that followed. Ok Ok Ok--relax relax my dear forum-ers, -- i know all of you are very eager to learn and read more. Give me time to type nooh. Hyper continued confessing:
"llahay ceebteena ha asturo. I was not in the right mind. These days i have began dreaming of little under-age girl naaso's. I dont want grown up women naaso's like that crazy Basra or Nabeela-- they are too much experienced, not the way a woman is supposed to. Beside, the issue of the breast---just like my fellow brothers Al shabab in Somalia who divorced his wife because she tricked him by wearing a bra--and him thinking they were naturally perky and standing up, i want nothing but under the age of 17. That way i wont risk being tricked like my fellow brother in al shabaab!"
I was disgusted. I was wounded and sort of felt humiliated. First, the fact that i am hearing with my own ears that Hyper is not attracted to me, and second- not attracted to my breasts, and third, that Nabeela also has been actively flaunting her marehaan slash mj flappy fatty breasts to my man. I was livid and angry and i wanted to walk to them and just slap silly my favorite sheikh sexxy. But i restrained myself, i thought, i want to know more. My love for gossip was far greater than my self esteem or pride. The mystery young girl finally spoke:
" Adeer--- all i want is your savings account money. I think you can afford that, otherwise i am going straight to the police and reporting you. You violated me when you commented on how lovely my breasts were, in a building of religious faith, at the mosque.(hyper is thinking to himself, where else would i have opportunities to comment on breasts?-- i am at the mosque 24/7 it is only reasonable, but he checked himself in fear of thinking his private whispers or pervert reasoning out loud.)
"Yes-- i did comment on your bosooms, mashaalaah , they are really great. But that is all i did. I did not touch them nor did i even come closer rubbing on it. I merely said-- wow--pure work of Allaah swt-- and i am blessed to witness them in this close proximity! That is all!
"Adeer i need your money. End of discussion. Give me the money and u can go before God and pray for forgiveness. I dont care."
""ameen sister, Ameen. imagine revealing your sins and embarrassing in front of Allah and prophets? innallilah thinking of it giving me heartache. i would die if i was exposed in front of my dad or mother. Allaho eebteena iyo tan muslim ka astor ya rabi."
"You will get a bigger headache if the scandal is out. Do you want to risk it>? " Retorted the little vixen gold digger who later i discovered it was none other than our somalinet resident : 'American-Suufi'.
"Ok ok ok sister. I will give you all my money. Just don't tell anyone please. I beg of you. But can u do me a favor? Before i give u all my money-- can u email me the photos of your blessings?
Sheikh HYPER!!!!!!!!!
Both me and American-Suufi shouted out loud at the same time-- to Hypers shock and dismay--- his mawaiis fell down, exposing a most unusually kostuumo-less physique, extremely skinny baasto legs, with all sort of old wound markings, like wounds of masaaii spears. And just below his long protruding baasto belly was that family jewel abnormilia, that little microscopic---most tiniest little reptilian membrane also known as gu.s yere.
I was roaming and skirting around the village, idle, bored and simply upto no good when i happen to come across a corner of a xafaadh, It was secretly situated between mareehan and Mj popular village, on the left of the great fruit market. As i happen to unaware-dly stumble upon careful low murmurings of two voices, my curiosity peaked to a zenith length. Naturally, i grabbed my long, dragging over sized dhirac, and quickly approached or rather followed where the voices were coming from. In my Great delight i happen to recognize whose voice it was that was so enigmatic and secretive. It was none other than Odeey Hyper and a very mysterious short plum girl of about 16 or 17 at the most. I could visibly see them through sneaking out my head, and consequently my eyes by simply protruding my head on the corner brick wall. Sheikh Hyper appeared nervous and agitated. He was sweating on his forehead, he constantly removed his reading glasses to wipe of sweat from under and over his eyes. Naturally, again, my penchant for gossip and desire peaked astronomically. I began to hyperventilate as to What was causing all this secretive gesticulations and wiping. Certainly, everyone in the forum recognizes my obsession with my dear Odeey Hyper. Thus, i decided to take my humongous hand bag and put it down so i may sit my fat behind and listen to the developing saga in a comfort of high delirium. Thus the conversation began:
"Abaay-- i dont have a lot of money. I am a poor man. I am not rich. Why are you blackmailing me in this horrific way. Can you not be afraid of Allah swt? " Hyper pleaded to the mysterious teenager, sounding ever desperate.
I sat up, adjusted my left breast and decided to stand up as this juicy dialogue could not withstand me sitting down. Hyper continued:
"day and night i ask Allah to hide my sins and mistakes. marka Qof Allah eebtisa o asturay maha lo eebeyni? wahas wa inkaar. ha ika inkaarsanin
ino Allah eebtaada asturo in youmel qiyaamah."Again-- i was flabbergasted as to the content of that last brief paragraph. It contained bombastic gossip material and high sensitive matter of curiosity that i could not but stand nervously and adjust my right breast-- given i did not wear my bra as i figured i was just going to the market. Not to mention counting on the blessing of maybe encountering hyper on the street and corrupting his beautiful pure deen mind. But at this juncture i was lost in my own vice for the love of gossip. Hyper made a mistake>? A sin? He prays day and night for Allaah swt to hide his sins? Ladies and gentlemen, u can imagine my rampant congruent orgasm that followed. Ok Ok Ok--relax relax my dear forum-ers, -- i know all of you are very eager to learn and read more. Give me time to type nooh.
Hyper continued confessing:"llahay ceebteena ha asturo. I was not in the right mind. These days i have began dreaming of little under-age girl naaso's. I dont want grown up women naaso's like that crazy Basra or Nabeela-- they are too much experienced, not the way a woman is supposed to. Beside, the issue of the breast---just like my fellow brothers Al shabab in Somalia who divorced his wife because she tricked him by wearing a bra--and him thinking they were naturally perky and standing up, i want nothing but under the age of 17. That way i wont risk being tricked like my fellow brother in al shabaab!"
I was disgusted. I was wounded and sort of felt humiliated. First, the fact that i am hearing with my own ears that Hyper is not attracted to me, and second- not attracted to my breasts, and third, that Nabeela also has been actively flaunting her marehaan slash mj flappy fatty breasts to my man. I was livid and angry and i wanted to walk to them and just slap silly my favorite sheikh sexxy. But i restrained myself, i thought, i want to know more. My love for gossip was far greater than my self esteem or pride. The mystery young girl finally spoke:
" Adeer--- all i want is your savings account money. I think you can afford that, otherwise i am going straight to the police and reporting you. You violated me when you commented on how lovely my breasts were, in a building of religious faith, at the mosque.(hyper is thinking to himself, where else would i have opportunities to comment on breasts?-- i am at the mosque 24/7 it is only reasonable, but he checked himself in fear of thinking his private whispers or pervert reasoning out loud.)
"Yes-- i did comment on your bosooms, mashaalaah , they are really great. But that is all i did. I did not touch them nor did i even come closer rubbing on it. I merely said-- wow--pure work of Allaah swt-- and i am blessed to witness them in this close proximity! That is all!
"Adeer i need your money. End of discussion. Give me the money and u can go before God and pray for forgiveness. I dont care."
""ameen sister, Ameen. imagine revealing your sins and embarrassing in front of Allah and prophets? innallilah thinking of it giving me heartache. i would die if i was exposed in front of my dad or mother. Allaho eebteena iyo tan muslim ka astor ya rabi."
"You will get a bigger headache if the scandal is out. Do you want to risk it>? " Retorted the little vixen gold digger who later i discovered it was none other than our somalinet resident : 'American-Suufi'.
"Ok ok ok sister. I will give you all my money. Just don't tell anyone please. I beg of you. But can u do me a favor? Before i give u all my money-- can u email me the photos of your blessings?
Sheikh HYPER!!!!!!!!!
Both me and American-Suufi shouted out loud at the same time-- to Hypers shock and dismay--- his mawaiis fell down, exposing a most unusually kostuumo-less physique, extremely skinny baasto legs, with all sort of old wound markings, like wounds of masaaii spears. And just below his long protruding baasto belly was that family jewel abnormilia, that little microscopic---most tiniest little reptilian membrane also known as gu.s yere. 
