Postby Steeler [Crawler2] » Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:06 am
Satan: "You want some bacon?"
Mohammed: "No man,I don't eat pork."
Satan: "What are you Jewish or something?"
Mohammed: "No. I just don't dig on swine. Pigs a filthy animal. I don't eat filthy animals. I don't eat anything that doesn't have sense enough to disregard its own feces."
Satan: "Dog eats its own feces."
Mohammed: "I don't eat dog either."
Satan: "But would you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?"
Mohammed: "I don't know about filthy. They're definately dirty. But dogs have a personality. Personality goes a long way."
Satan: "So, by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal."
Mohammed: "Well we'd have to be talking about one charming motherfockin' pig. I mean, he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Jewish I had the other day."
Satan: "That's funny man. You're starting to lighten up. You were sitting there all serious and shit."
Mohammed: "I was just thinking."
Satan: "About what?"
Mohammed: "About the miracle we witnessed?"
Satan: "Miracle you witnessed. I witnessed a freak occurence."
Mohammed: "What is a miracle satan?"
Satan: "An act of God."
Mohammed: "And what's an act of God?"
Satan: "When God makes the impossible possible. But today, I don't think, qualifies."
Mohammed: "Don't you see Satan, you're looking at this all wrong. It could be that God stopped the arrows, he changed water into tea, he found my fockin' camel herd. Now whether what we witnessed today was an according to Moses miracle or not is insignificant. But what is significant is I felt the touch of God. God got involved."
Satan: "But why?"
Mohammed: "Well that's what's fockin' with me. But I can't go back into the desert."
Satan: "You're serious. You're really thinking about quittin'?"
Mohammed: "The life? Most definately."
Satan: "Well what you gonna do then?"
Mohammed: "Well that's what I've been sitting here thinking about. First, I am going to drive the Jews out of Yathrib. Then, basically, I'm just going to walk the earth."
Satan: "What you mean 'walk tha earth?'"
Mohammed: "You know, like Moses in the ten commandments. Walk from place to place, meet people of the book, get in adventures."
Satan: "So you decided to become a bum."
Mohammed: "I'll just be Mohammed Satan, no more, no less."
Satan: "No Mohammed, you decided to become a bum. Like those pieces of shit who beg for change, who eat what I throw away who sleep in garbage piles. They have a name for that Mohammed, it's called a bum. And without a job, residence, or legal tender, that's what you are going to be my friend, a focking bum."
Mohammed: "All shapes and sizes Satan."
Satan: "Don't talk to me like that."
Mohammed: "If my answers frighten you satan, then you should cease asking scary questions."
Satan (sighs): "I'm gonna go take a shit. Let me ask you something. When did you come up with that decision, while you were sitting there eatin' that muffin?"
Mohammed: Well yeah. I was sittin' here, eatin' my muffin, when I have what Khat chewers refer to as 'a moment of clarity.'"
Satan: "To be continued"
http://www.islamcan.com/miracles/masjidshining.shtml
