Repressed Anger - have you ever been there?

[QaaliDumar]

Y did u get da police involved ?

Yariisoow, this being a public forum doesn't mean wax kastaa soo bandhig

[SecretAgent]

Okay boss but do u regret it wat u did I think u over reacted oh well shit happens rite

[QaaliDumar]

Xag ilaahay I do but as I already stated they left me no choice.

[FAH1223]

Let me guess Blackvelvet let me guess . first this person is a female . second it has something to do with she gossiping behind your back in a very
rude and revealing way that heart your feelings , thats why you cant get over what she did even after you reconciled .

[GeoSeven]

There is one person who literally makes me get migraines just seeing his id when my phone rings. He is only there to leech from me. Nothing else. Some people literally don't get the "Fuck Off" message. I am not the kind of beat around the bush; I am very direct. Still the message isn't received. He will show up on my door if I don't answer my celly or call my friends to get a hold of me.

His mom and my mom are best friends but I am starting to think I have to result to the use of violence. It has come to the point that I don't care if my mom's 30+ year friendship with this woman breaks down because of this or he gets into a coma.

The world is filled with sick people. Stalkers, people who don't get the DIRECT message should be shot.

I know the situation your in. The only person in this world I despise with a passion is the son of my mothers friend. Just don't associate with him. I avoid this fuckface so as to not cause any drama. I even cancelled an overseas trip with friends because someone invited the xayawaan without my knowledge. Unfortunate when normal people end up having the most retarded offspring.

[BlackVelvet]

Yeah like your mom's best friend's son, people like that are difficult to cut out but mine is arguably worse because this person is related to someone I'm related to sometimes I even answer the house phone when they call. No one would guess I was still angry, I even fooled myself because I knew I could never cut them out I just brushed it off and tried to make sense of their toxic behaviour which was explained by their life in general and how they grew up which was in a toxic environment so I felt/feel bad for them. But still. It is difficult to be angry at someone you feel sorry for. By doing so I feel like an idiot but by making excuses for them and trying to be fair to them it feels like I'm justifying their behaviour and not being fair to myself. I hardly ever get angry and it's strange that I feel this towards a person who will probably be in my life until death do us part (a depressing thought). I guess this will be my first real experience with forgiving. If someone pisses me off there's usually a reason probably some sort of misunderstanding, something that can be fixed, so you talk about it, figure out what the problem is, implement the solution, make up and move on. If it's someone you don't give two hoots about you go your separate ways. But this. Trying to cut them out will be just spreading the toxicity around since it will be a futile attempt. Talking to them about it will be useless because it is not what they did/do it's who they are and they're going through some personal problems right now (like always) probably why I let them back in. I don't know if I can forgive them, I can accept what happened and make sure it never happens again but forgive? Shit. I have to google what that means and how to do it. Being angry is not a nice feeling.

They did me a favour a while back and I reimbursed them financially, twice. That's how badly I wanted to distance myself.

Let me guess Blackvelvet let me guess . first this person is a female . second it has something to do with she gossiping behind your back in a very
rude and revealing way that heart your feelings , thats why you cant get over what she did even after you reconciled .

lol no being gossiped about is amusing more than anything else but yes she is female, the only guys around me to get the chance are my brothers/father and they wouldn't.

ps We never reconciled, well we did a number of times but she kept doing the same shit over and over so we left it at her being holier than thou and me thinking I had closed that chapter.

[InaSamaale]

Probably not anger. I find it difficult to repress. I can repress feelings of hurt, disappointment and betrayal pretty well though.

The quicker you let go of feelings of anger the more liberating it will be for you. As for forgiveness it's not something you can force. I think forgiveness is a continual process when the hurt cuts deep. I've found a loyal friend in someone that betrayed me really bad on several occasions. I don't think I could have forgiven them at the beginning but took it one day at a time. All the best.

[AyeeyoH]

Samir ma lehi aan dadkaas oo kale ugu adkeysto...repressed anger goorma igu danbaysay...qof aad necebtahy inaad oo qososhid waa munaafiqnimu.Runta lo sheega waa laga dhaqaajiya.

[BlackVelvet]

Granny haddi uu qofka yahay qof aadan ka dhaqaaqi karin? Marwalba aad is aragtiin ma is xumeyn laheed?

Probably not anger. I find it difficult to repress. I can repress feelings of hurt, disappointment and betrayal pretty well though.

The quicker you let go of feelings of anger the more liberating it will be for you. As for forgiveness it's not something you can force. I think forgiveness is a continual process when the hurt cuts deep. I've found a loyal friend in someone that betrayed me really bad on several occasions. I don't think I could have forgiven them at the beginning but took it one day at a time. All the best.

Maybe I'm confusing one with the other. Thanks for the advice, that is actually helpful

[Vivacious]

BV, I don't see why you are torturing yourself. I agree with GRANNY. It may not be the best advice you are looking for but seriously, how can you tolerate someone whom you can't even show your feelings? Waad dulqaad badan tahay sis. but tbh such people make me sick and I won't rest until they are out of my life.

[AgentOfChaos]

Nope, never. But sometimes I do come close to giving a damn though.

[BlackVelvet]

Deqa if it's someone you never have to see or hear from again then yeah you don't have to tolerate them and you can cut them out of your life. Lakin someone you have to go out of your way to avoid? Wouldn't it be better to process the emotion, put a tag on it and figure out a way to let it dissolve into nothingness? Being intolerant or showing them you are still angry or hurt is harmful to you. I am not doing it for them, just aint looking to get cancer or ulcers.

And I have to admit because of the difficulty of their life I can't help the soft spot I have for them. Life has made this person bitter. I don't want what they did to affect me to that extent, to be made too bitter to be kind to her or forgive her. I can give it as good/bad as I get it, but in this case, would that be wise? What would be the benefit? Never letting them have the opportunity do it again...I am sure you can do that without holding on to hurt, I hope.

[BlackVelvet]

Nope, never. But sometimes I do come close to giving a damn though.

Oh no. I hope you nip it in the bud whenever that threatens to happen.

[Vivacious]

And I have to admit because of the difficulty of their life I can't help the soft spot I have for them. Life has made this person bitter. I don't want what they did to affect me to that extent, to be made too bitter to be kind to her or forgive her.

Mashallah, you are very kind wallahi. I just hope you don't become a victim blood pressure. Jks!!!

Runtii dadka noocaas oo kale waxaa kugu haboon inaad ka fogaato adiga oon lagu dareemin. Just make sure your interactions with her is limited so that the same problems don't arise again. Good luck, sis!

[BlackVelvet]

Runtii dadka noocaas oo kale waxaa kugu haboon inaad ka fogaato adiga oon lagu dareemin. Just make sure your interactions with her is limited so that the same problems don't arise again.

Good advice

Now that I know how I feel, I won't be letting them back in so freely.


ps Thank you and it's good you've never seen me pissed off