Gurey25, AbdiWahab252, Advice for the Youth especially men

[Oxidant]

What is the best advice you have for the Youth regarding life, education, women, relationship, travelling, religion and the pursuit of happiness?

We are certainly entering interest times in all facets of life ranging from ageing population worldwide (Except Africa ), change in the economic structure of the world, rapid social change, and swift unprecedented technological growth. So advice from the two best established posters with great wisdom and insight is welcomed and cherished. Anyone can chime in if they want. All views and thoughts are welcomed. All topics are welcomed to be covered,

[FAH1223]

Already know what AW will say

[STARKAST]

Get yourself a white woman ?

[Basra-]

This is rich. Oxidant summoning his other forum names to give advice. Oxi--did u forget Voltage too? He is wise enough? Gurey25 is also Voltage? Thanks for letting me know.

[Oxidant]

Get yourself a white woman ?

Knew this since I was 7

[gurey25]

That’s allot of subjects,
For women, religion and happiness I can only recommend that you marry a religious woman of a good character,
Then you will be able to relax and enjoy your life.
If you add that with cibaada , praying regular and following your deen then you will definatly be happy, even if you are dirt poor,
Even if you have tonnes of problems at work, they will seem light and manageable if you get those 2 right.

For education if you have the aptitude I would advise you to go for something technical, like engineering or medical then you will always find employment.
And if you are going to do this, you should not go to a university no matter how prestigious it is unless you get a full scholarship.
Go to a technical college, do an apprenticeship then in future go to a university part time and get your full degree.
In my view for a technical subject a 2 year technical college is superior to a 4 year university.


For travelling , never take guided tours, always explore on your own, you meet more people that way and have genuine experiences ( ofcousre keep your wits about you, and be safe)
I for one hate the tourist traps, I prefer to go where the locals go, eat where they eat etc.

[AbdiWahab252]

Already know what AW will say

Oxidant,


Well, you ask a very complex question. Here is my attempt to answer it:

1. Life - You only live once. Make sure to make the most of it. Try different things (all legal of course) and pursue new experiences. Build a strong network and work hard to maintain it. As you get older you will notice that you have fewer friends. Its natural as people pass on or pursue their own life goals which may not include you. Enjoy every minute with your family because folks will pass on or get married and start their own families and relationships with your siblings will change after marriage. Always have manageable expectations and learn not to have unrealistic ones that you can not achieve thereby disappointing you. Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy. Don't pursue the low hanging fruit and aim for the higher ones.

2. Education - Like Gurey said, try to take on the least amount of debt. You can learn just as much in the work place. Try to study fields that have a great financial payoff. If you chose not to or can not, study something to get yourself the coveted Bachelor degree. Remember what you study and what career you pursue may not necessarily be the same.

3. Shukaansi and Marriage - Do it in moderation. Learn from your relationships with women and find out what you kind of woman you can pursue a relationship with. If a woman has serious character flaws, you can't fix it. If she has correctable problems: awful cook, poor cleaner, you can manage her to success. Always marry a younger woman, a minimum of 5 years your junior but no more than 10 years younger. Don't dwell on her qabiil if you marry a Somali because if a woman loves you, she will not raise such topics in front of you (what she does privately is okay after all you would do the same). Look at a woman's mother, that is the future her. If her mom is a ball buster, realize that she will be taught the same skills. A woman's family is more important than her qabiil.

Also marry a woman who brings financial stability. God forbid you were to die, make sure she can provide for the kids. Looks are important but in these uncertain economic times, having an additional breadwinner can help prevent greying or bidaaring of your hair until the 50s when God intended such things to occur.

4. Career - Ability to excel is important but even more important is making sure that your accomplishments are known to everyone. Being humble and meek won't get you anywhere. Take charge and perform what you deem to be the right thing unless your boss feels otherwise. Remember you are a black man so the bar set for you is much higher than the white folks who tend to take care of each other. Always network and look for new opportunities. There is no loyalty in the work place. Treat your coworkers as enemies you have not yet discovered. I like to go to job interviews at least twice a year just to find out how much my worth is out there in the market. Never ever underestimate the importance of networking even after work hours: people hire people they like all things being equal between two candidates with comparable skills.


Oxidant, good luck

[Marques]

Very helpful advice from our seniors, thank you gentlemen!

[srsbsns]

That AbdiWahab guy is a total jahil.

Gurey gives good advice. I disagree with him on education though. Education should not be a route to employment but as a way of enriching oneself.

[STARKAST]

srsbsns calling someone a Jahil is not wise.
Immigrants usually fall back on education to provide employment because that's the only security in this life. Your idealism is for 2nd gen.

I've gotta agree with marrying a female with good deen and that the family is worlds more important than Qabil. Also indeed so networking is important in these times.

No white women, oxidant knows what i'm talking about ? (joke)

[salool]

3. Shukaansi and Marriage - Do it in moderation. Learn from your relationships with women and find out what you kind of woman you can pursue a relationship with. If a woman has serious character flaws, you can't fix it. If she has correctable problems: awful cook, poor cleaner, you can manage her to success. Always marry a younger woman, a minimum of 5 years your junior but no more than 10 years younger. Don't dwell on her qabiil if you marry a Somali because if a woman loves you, she will not raise such topics in front of you (what she does privately is okay after all you would do the same). Look at a woman's mother, that is the future her. If her mom is a ball buster, realize that she will be taught the same skills. A woman's family is more important than her qabiil.

The age diffrence will show the longer you guys liv together...you cant keep up with a woman 10yrs younger then you, stick to ur age group folks.

[SummerRain]

^^ Well Helwaa, it's women from rural Somalia he is referring to. He wouldn't dare approach a woman 10 years younger in the west.

[AbdiWahab252]

^^ Well Helwaa, it's women from rural Somalia he is referring to. He wouldn't dare approach a woman 10 years younger in the west.

Summer,

Major developments since you went incognito.

[SummerRain]

AW
Let's catch up after my exam.