http://www.somalina.com/
www.somalina.com
I was 19 and thought I was sooooo in love! But the reality was I liked the idea of being "independent" away at university. He was someone who was fascinated with all things African (and Iman) so he followed me around for two years. Needless to say, I liked the attention I thought I was being so progressive and living an ideal both my illiterate parents could never wish for (his family was rich and well-connected). I introduced him to my parents as a "study-buddy" but I know they knew the truth - they wanted me to learn the answer for myself since I wasn't going to heed they're advice anyway. We were married in a courthouse out of town because by then his parents were having issues with our union (they were devout Christians) Not but six months later all of our differences came to surface - he hated all of our meals, thought our music was whiney and was embarrassed when I wore a dhiray out of the house. I was resolved to toss the relationship out and call it an experience I'll never again partake in - but then I found out I was pregnant! How could I leave? But how could I stay with someone who wanted to teach our children that my culture was secondary to his? He put hip-hop before Somali on the later of respect!
I was ready to leave but didn't where to go. I rejected my people and family - would they still want me? Did Allah still love me when I defied everything he tried to teach me? Luckily, your family will always be there to pick up the pieces behind you - no matter what.
I've been free of him for ten years now but I still have to deal with him through the courts. And my child goes to church, celebrates Christmas and Easter with his family and new extremely Christian wife during his visitation period and there is nothing I can do about it except try to deprogram him when he comes home.
Sisters, please listen, don't let this be you! For all their problems and arrogances Somali men should be all you need - less aggravation, same cultural and deen, also, his family is your family.
For me, my next and last man, will be 100% Somali!
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Thank you all for your views. My boy believes himself to be Muslim but enjoys the holidays (gifts,etc) with his father's family. He doesn't like the idea of voices his views against his father's because he respectfully fears them as a child should (he's only ten what kind of war could he possibly hope to win?) He tells me when he is at home with me and my family that is when he feels freer (Christian households have more restraints believe it or not - as if they fear discovery of what they know could not possibly be correct.)
By the way, I do have physical custody over him (meaning he primarily resides with me) but he has weekend visitations and holidays (the courts only acknowledge Christian and Jewish holidays on the calendar.)
Insha allah, by the time he is 15 he would feel more comfortable in proclaiming himself Muslim to the world instead of just me and other Somalis.
(Oh, but he does tell his dad he's not American - because he looks and feels 100% Somali pure! )
