Somali Jokes

[Cherine]

Somali man in Yemen goes to restaurant and orders bariis, the owner then tells him 'maafish', Somali man looks at the guy and repeats his order for bariis, yemenigiina haddana wuxuu ku idhi 'maafish'. Somaligii decides to order baasto haddana 'maafish' ayaa looguu jawaabaa. In the end the Somali man tells the guy 'Maafiishtaasba keen oo noo subageey!'

[MoAwr]

Somali man in Yemen goes to restaurant and orders bariis, the owner then tells him 'maafish', Somali man looks at the guy and repeats his order for bariis, yemenigiina haddana wuxuu ku idhi 'maafish'. Somaligii decides to order baasto haddana 'maafish' ayaa looguu jawaabaa. In the end the Somali man tells the guy 'Maafiishtaasba keen oo noo subageey!'

this joke is maafish!
What's maafish ?

[Cherine]

@ 'this joke is maafish!'

[jalaaludin5]

An old reer jabuuti gay asked another reer waqooyi ...what is the quickest way to get to Boorama?

The reer waqooyi goes..."are you going on foot or by car?"
The reer jabuti goes.."by car".
The reer waqooyi replied. .."thats the quiest".

lol
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[obstacle24]

Hada kahor ayaa nin xaaskiisa casho usoo kexeeyey markii ay restaurant-ga soo fariisteen ayaa kabalyeeriga u yimid wuxuu dhahay soo dhawaada, waxaan haynaa bariis buskeeti iyo salad, baasto hilib ari waslad hilib digaag/dooro iyo salad!
Ninkii: bariiska iyo buskeetiga waa meeqa ?
Kabalyeriga: 60 kun oo shilin!
Ninka: baastada iyo wasladana ?
Kabalyeriga: 80 kun oo shilin!
Ninka: saladkuna waa meeqa?
Kabalyeriga: saladku lacag ma,aha waa bilaash!
Ninkii: saladka lee nasii markaas .

[jalaaludin5]

Hada kahor ayaa nin xaaskiisa casho usoo kexeeyey markii ay restaurant-ga soo fariisteen ayaa kabalyeeriga u yimid wuxuu dhahay soo dhawaada, waxaan haynaa bariis buskeeti iyo salad, baasto hilib ari waslad hilib digaag/dooro iyo salad!
Ninkii: bariiska iyo buskeetiga waa meeqa ?
Kabalyeriga: 60 kun oo shilin!
Ninka: baastada iyo wasladana ?
Kabalyeriga: 80 kun oo shilin!
Ninka: saladkuna waa meeqa?
Kabalyeriga: saladku lacag ma,aha waa bilaash!
Ninkii: saladka lee nasii markaas .

[MissFiora]

Ninkii: saladka lee nasii markaas .

Ghabdho haduu ninkaga sidaan odhan laha maxaad sameyn laheed?!

[TheLoFather]

Hada ka hor nin ayeey hurda la’aani dhibtay, kadib wuxu aaday naag dadka maskaxda ka daweeysa, wuxuuna dhahay ” habeenkii ma seexan karo waxaan marwalba ka soo boodaa huurdada anoo ka cabsanaaya in sariirta hoosteeda la igu jiro, kolkaan soo kacana oo aan fiiriyo cidi kuma jirto”
naagtii waxay ku tiri “waxaad ubaahantahay in lagu daweeyo si laguu daweeyo waxaad timaadaa isbuucii labo jeer, marwalbana 100$ soo qaado”

Ninkii markuu Sidaa bil ku wade, bishii labaad ayuu meeesii iimaan waayay, hase ahaatee asigoo wadada socdo ayaa waxaa aragatay naagtii oo ku dhahday “war haye waaba imaan wayday oo maxaa kugu dhacay”?

Ninkii wuxuu ugh jawaabey “Nin Farsamo yaqaanka ah aan arintii usheegay, markaasu igu dhahay sariirta laftigeeda lugaha ka jar, waana ka jarey lacag yarna waa igu sameeyey hurdona ii timid.

[26June1960]

An old reer jabuuti gay asked another reer waqooyi ...what is the quickest way to get to Boorama?

The reer waqooyi goes..."are you going on foot or by car?"
The reer jabuti goes.."by car".
The reer waqooyi replied. .."thats the quiest".

lol
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Must be a Freudian slip.

[KingWaslawi]

Nin reer Xamar ahaa ayaa makhaayad Burco ku taalla u soo qado doontay. Markii uu fadhiisaty waxa u yimid inankii raashinka bixinayey (Mu'dalabkii), una sheegay waxa yaalla: "Waxaannu haynaa, Bariis, Baasto, Hilib Geel, Adhi, Suqaar iwm.". Ninkii reer Xamarka ahaa baa weydiiyey mu'dalabkii, "Yaakhii Liingue ma yaallaa Noo! "
Inankii makhayadda ka shaqaynayey ayaa intuu garan waayey ugu jawaabay oo waa maxay Liigu? Ninkii reer Xamarka ahaa ayaa odhanaya, "Carrab waaye; NOO!" intuu gacanta carrabkiisa saaray yidhi: Liingue; Carrab ma haysaa; Noo!. Inankii makhayadda ayaa inta uu iska dhaqaaqay yidhi: < Jaw, ninkii noolow maxaa aragti kuu laaban".

Inankii makhayadda ayaa iska shaqaystay oo hawshiisii sii watey. In mudda ah markii uu fadhiyey oo ninkii reer Xamarka ahaana filayo in wax loo soo wado, ayaa waxaa dareemay ninkii makhayadda lahaa oo maqalka fadhiya in ninkan waageeniga u muuqdaa in door ah meesha ku sugayey in wax loo keeno.

Inankii makhayadda ka shaqaynayey ayuu u yeedhay oo ku yidhi: "War Hebelow maxaad ninkaa martida ah ee inta badan fadhiyey u soo siin weydey dalabkiisii?"

"Kee", ayaa yarkii mu'dalabka ahaa odhanayaa, saa waa kii reer Xamarka ahaa ee carrabka doonayey oo weli sidii u fadhiya! Inankii baa intuu cirkaa ka qayliyey ku yidhi ninkii maqalka fadhiyey ee lahaa makhayadda: "Jaw, waar yaanu carrabka kaa goosan. Wallaahi, bal carar oo agtiisa tag, bal inaad bilaa carrab ku soo noqon weydid !"

[KingWaslawi]

Laba nin baa ku wada jiray dugsigii Xalane ee tababarka lagu qaadan jirey ee ku yaalay magaalada Muqdishu xilliyadii todobatanaadkii iyo sideetamaadkii 1970s, and 1980s. Labada nin midi waa reer Muqdisho oo gurigooda ayuu Jimcaha u caraabaa. Ka kalena waa reer Hargeysa oo isagu magaaladan cid kama yaqaan oo inta badan xerada Xalane dhexdeeda ayuu iska joogaa. Waxa dhacaysa in ninkii reer Muqdishaad uu mar walba cuntooyin kala jaad ah uu u soo qaato Xalane sanduuqna ku qufusho oo sariirtiisa hoosteeda gashado maca dharkiisa. Habeenkii danbe ayuu kii reer Hargeysa gaajooday intuu saqdii dhexe kacay ayuu sanduuqii intuu gabigiisiiba banaanka u qaatay ku soo jabsaday oo wax ka soo cunay ka dibna ninkii halkii uu hore u yaallay u dhigay sanduuqii.

Xilli ay weli waaberigii ku dhowdahay ayuu u kacay kaadi ninkii reer Muqdisho, markuu sariirta hoosteedii eegayba mise waaba sanduuqii oo walhanaya oo afka kala haya, YAAB!. Ayaamahaas uun baa Matato (ama Nigis) qofba siduu u yaqaan ayaa Talyaaniga alaab looga keenay ku jiray sanduuqa. Matatihii oo koonaha sanduuqa ku jiray ayuu markiiba tebay ninkii lahaa oo yidhi; "Waar yaakhii yaa arkay Matatahaaygii!?" isagoo kor u qaylinaya oo dadkii hoolka hurday oo dhami maqlayaan. Dadka qaar baa sariirahoodu is kor saaran yihiin ee la soco. Wuxuu hadalkii kor u sii qaadaba, oo marba gees u socdo, isagoo uu xataa hanjabaayo isagoo leh; "Walaahi Eber aan ka dhigaa ka aan ku qabto Matatahayga". Haddaba cid u jawaabta waa la waayey oo dadkii oo dhami wax hurda oo aan maqleeyninba, iyo wax isnabaya oo is leh waar yaa ninkan idinka aamusiiya ayaa la noqday. Kama danbeeystii ayuu qayladii la ag tegay sariirta kii xaday laftiisii isagoo leh; "Waar Matatahaygii yaa arkay, yaa arkay Matatahaygii", Haddaba kii reer Hargeysa oo khaatiyaan taagan oo leh waar aad ka seexatide yaa kaa kaxeeya ayaa mar qudha la soo boodaya; "Waar annagaa cunaye, naga seexo!", isagoo u haysta in Matataha la yidhaa mac-macaankii uu ninka ka cunay. Halkii baa dadkii hoolka hurday oo dhami ay qosol la wada tooseen, xataa kii raadinayey baa qosolkii ku daray.