Dealing With Negative People....Is It A Somali Thing?

[MissSkeptical]

If there's one thing I learned being raised in the Somali community, amongst Somali peers, relatives, just regular people you come across, is that it feels so sneaky,vindictive,shady,fake etc. Is being apart of any large community like this? Constantly throwing shade, feeling like you have to be prepared for the negativity thrown your way? I feel like I have to constantly be on my toes with my own family, with friends,with my parent's friends.I can't even have fun because I have to prepare myself for a verbal attack or a witty comeback incase a neighborhood Habaryar or local frienemy wants to give you fever. If it's not your shady aunt talking smack, its your Somali homegirl or your mom's homie/competition. Why does being in the Somali community feel like a TV reality game show? It's survival of the fittest and I just can't keep up.

[GAMES]

Its not just Somalis, every other community does it. Best advice i can give you, don't let it bother you and just move on with your life.

[QuantumSatis]

It depends on how different a young adult is and their life style. Drinking, partying, dressing nontraditional/nonislamic way, dating outside the somali ethnicity etc. will make the young somali adult feel out of place with the community for sure. That is when a young adult feels pressure and the need to avoid the community and relatives in particular. One either chooses their life style that alienate them from the community, or realize that the conflict they experience is grounded on expectations they failed to meet as member of the community.



For average young adult whose hobbies and habits don't include what I mentioned above, they would feel right at home in the community. There is nothing people will pick on about them.

I know generally somali females avoid their community out of fear of being judged negatively(if they are engaged in such activities). It is just the environment that causes the chasm between old and young, traditional versus assimilated into the culture of booze and parties(the do as you please kinda culture that contradicts the beliefs associated with being somali).

PS: I would personally keep my bad habits and non-approved hobbies secret for convenience and be part of my community with the understanding that they want the best for me. It is all about priorities in life we have that determines who we see as close to us. Bad Life style can be a b-i-t-ch. I blame that more than somalis in general.


My observation.

[salool]

Sida mr Q ku sheegay hadaad caadoodiyen xunxun leedahy isha ayaa lagugu qaloocin. Ee balwadahaaga qarso..xita hadaad xalay oo dhan kalaab dabada ruxaysay ..subixi cabaayad ku dhac oo iska dhig gabadh muslimad ah.Dadkaaga ha iska dhex saarin.What you do for sins is between you and Allah so hide ur shit.

[Somaliman%]

If there's one thing I learned being raised in the Somali community, amongst Somali peers, relatives, just regular people you come across, is that it feels so sneaky,vindictive,shady,fake etc. Is being apart of any large community like this? Constantly throwing shade, feeling like you have to be prepared for the negativity thrown your way? I feel like I have to constantly be on my toes with my own family, with friends,with my parent's friends.I can't even have fun because I have to prepare myself for a verbal attack or a witty comeback incase a neighborhood Habaryar or local frienemy wants to give you fever. If it's not your shady aunt talking smack, its your Somali homegirl or your mom's homie/competition. Why does being in the Somali community feel like a TV reality game show? It's survival of the fittest and I just can't keep up.

If you think this is bad go spend a day with indians or pakis the amount of drama and bullshit . The same with blacks especially Nigerians lol just watch their movies to see what's it's like daily for a nigerian warka iyo balaaya ku jiiran sixirka too.

I choose somali no harm chitchat any day.

[MissFiora]

OP I feel you the behaviour you described stems from jealousy and envy. And the fact that there are few genuine people left in the world.

Salool and Quantum .it's obvious that if you engage in habits that are considered taboo people will talk about you. However, if you are an upstanding human being or you are someone who tries to improve themselves you are also talked about.

The best thing you can do is find a few genuine people and stick with em and try and remain as private as possible when it comes to your life.

This lady that mom knows recently suggested to my mom indirectly that I might be a lesbian lol Why? Cause I study too much and cause I'm not married. The lady's daughter had a baby out of wedlock with a Jamaican. Hooyaday waxay u qoodhi waydey peace of mind. She sees me showering my mom with dahab and lacag and the only thing her daughter gave her is a Jamaican garac to look after in old age. Just remember jealously and envy.

[COOL-MAN]

I have been in your situation many many many moons ago when I first came into contact with Somalis from Somalia proper. I found out that they are fake and qabiil infested to my dismay. A person who was being chopped into tiny pieces through backbiting is welcomed with a big hug the moment they walk in. I have also come to realize names like diktoore, engineer hebel iyo mudane hebel are fake titles

The worst moment was when I was sat with these bunch of xamariwis(xmogadishu dwellers). They were talking about this guy whom they said Allah hasn't a created a worse creature than him after the devil, Waa xasid, Waa maqnuud, lafaha ayey xasid nimada kaga jirtaa iyo wixi la mid ah. I felt so bad about the guy because I knew him from this gathering before and he looked decent from the out look. the way they were describing him would make any independent observer to write him off as a humanbeing to associate with. Lo and behold, the man walked in while the operation deride him was in full swing. I was fuming with building in anger from what i heard. Suddenly the mood changed "gudoomiye soo dhawaw, Waa lagu waaye yaaq" I was signaled to fetch a chair for the minutes ago sheydaan to the current mudane.

I brought him the chair and walked out scratching my head

The religious ones are the same, they are divided into salafi cusub, salaafi hore, mid soo socdo, suufi jadeed, suufi jeylaani, suufi hilib yaa arkey? You name them.


The somali government, let's not even go there!

qabiil?

[LobsterUnit]

If there's one thing I learned being raised in the Somali community, amongst Somali peers, relatives, just regular people you come across, is that it feels so sneaky,vindictive,shady,fake etc. Is being apart of any large community like this? Constantly throwing shade, feeling like you have to be prepared for the negativity thrown your way? I feel like I have to constantly be on my toes with my own family, with friends,with my parent's friends.I can't even have fun because I have to prepare myself for a verbal attack or a witty comeback incase a neighborhood Habaryar or local frienemy wants to give you fever. If it's not your shady aunt talking smack, its your Somali homegirl or your mom's homie/competition. Why does being in the Somali community feel like a TV reality game show? It's survival of the fittest and I just can't keep up.

help is here walaal.please message me and enrol on one of the following courses;

1.three week wadaado transformation crash course.
2.shiisha addiction therapy(1 day).
3.af soomaaliga baro in a day crash course.
4.how to send to zaad practical course
5.how to not walk like a cadaan women(practical requires trainers)
Jamaacatu Bantu&DNA college
Roadman avenue
PO BOX WEED1
Streatham Somali dariiq.

[COOL-MAN]

If there's one thing I learned being raised in the Somali community, amongst Somali peers, relatives, just regular people you come across, is that it feels so sneaky,vindictive,shady,fake etc. Is being apart of any large community like this? Constantly throwing shade, feeling like you have to be prepared for the negativity thrown your way? I feel like I have to constantly be on my toes with my own family, with friends,with my parent's friends.I can't even have fun because I have to prepare myself for a verbal attack or a witty comeback incase a neighborhood Habaryar or local frienemy wants to give you fever. If it's not your shady aunt talking smack, its your Somali homegirl or your mom's homie/competition. Why does being in the Somali community feel like a TV reality game show? It's survival of the fittest and I just can't keep up.

help is here walaal.please message me and enrol on one of the following courses;

1.three week wadaado transformation crash course.
2.shiisha addiction therapy(1 day).
3.af soomaaliga baro in a day crash course.
4.how to send to zaad practical course
5.how to not walk like a cadaan women(practical requires trainers)
Jamaacatu Bantu&DNA college
Roadman avenue
PO BOX WEED1
Streatham Somali dariiq.

[Rambie]

MissFiora & COOL-MAN

I've found the peace
of mind only when I cut off the xasiidenta mesha ka buxa.

I don't even respond to their fake salam
when they run into me. Bunch of hypocrite two faced people.

[QuantumSatis]

OP I feel you the behaviour you described stems from jealousy and envy. And the fact that there are few genuine people left in the world.

Salool and Quantum .it's obvious that if you engage in habits that are considered taboo people will talk about you. However, if you are an upstanding human being or you are someone who tries to improve themselves you are also talked about.

The best thing you can do is find a few genuine people and stick with em and try and remain as private as possible when it comes to your life.

This lady that mom knows recently suggested to my mom indirectly that I might be a lesbian lol Why? Cause I study too much and cause I'm not married. The lady's daughter had a baby out of wedlock with a Jamaican. Hooyaday waxay u qoodhi waydey peace of mind. She sees me showering my mom with dahab and lacag and the only thing her daughter gave her is a Jamaican garac to look after in old age. Just remember jealously and envy.

Hi dear,

You are the best lesbian in that case. It is sexy to study and keep to yourself I understand there are issues like that with some Somalis. My message to Miss-Skeptic was to be separating personal choices she makes in the pursuit of happiness that may be counter to the expectations of her parents due to culture and religion, and the fact that she needs to keep the ties between her and her family in general. As time goes on, people wise up and mature realizing that there is no replacement for blood ties in North America.

One can have fun as they see fit, but the fun is almost always not worth the sacrifice of important things that matter in life later on(if the fun is counter culture and self destructive). I think young adults need to get a job first and be independent, that way they can have separate life of their own while they keep the ties of parents and family from distance instead of starting to go rogue while they are in the care of their parents. That is where the beef starts often.





Maxaad barataa adiga? I am curious now? hahahaha

[Hyperactive]

do you know like you have to leave 2 minutes for safety when you drive? you need same safety distance whe you dealing with people, otherwise will clash.

do not worry about people, only people you need to worry is your parents. those who loose sleep if anything happen to you, not even siplings. wey khoorinayan while you out.

worry about you and always exame your self and should worry toyr relationship with God and try to connect with Him.

imagine, keygan miskeen ka ah, ba adeer lo tagay, they are even coward to talk to me or dad. weelkina waqti dambe yimada, weelal an fi'aneyna wo la taagna!!

I stopped to think bad about people that minutes i heard that, cause wa weelal an quranka ka dageysto. i dont know what they do out side after isha quran recitition.!!

[Inaayah]

It's part of life, *shrugs* you just get on with it.

[TheblueNwhite]

Ah! You will end in a mental institution if you continue to worry about what heblaayo and hebel are saying about you.

Do you. F everyone else.

[MissSkeptical]

Ah! You will end in a mental institution if you continue to worry about what heblaayo and hebel are saying about you.

Do you. F everyone else.

True. I agree. It's something you cannot control sometimes though. I just feel like its so unhealthy the relationships I have with ppl and every time I try to fix it I fall back in with different ppl or relatives with the same mentality . obviously I'm not without fault myself but I wonder if innocent conversation exists.