How can we Somalis benefit, financially, from this situation? Of course, seeing the recent events in Lebanon has shown that when there is a lot of carnage and death, businessmen benefit from it. From the Syrian taxi drivers lining up on the Lebanese-Syrian border to "help" fleeing refugees to Hariri (richest Lebanese family) family's plan to open three home depots in Lebaon, two in Beirut, one in Tyr (this is not confirmed of course), the world has never been a better place to do business.
So, what will SOmali refugees fleeing ethiopian bombardment buy? I have decided to dispatch 50 cousins of mine to the Bay and Bakool region (region that will be first affected). They are setting up small, mobile kiosks on the main road that connect Baidoa to the Ethiopians border. They will be selling bottled water (not Dasani or Evian but untreated water from an ethiopian facility in Dhirir Dhawe) to the fleeing Somalis. We will also have top of the line USDA approved raw meat for the invading ethiopian army, hot pepper and Liin dhanaan sold separately. And of course, for our Islamist brothers (Aweys & Co.) we will have, the best weaved prayer mats from Azerbaijan and of course Caday (toothbrush), cus aint no true Mujaahid can wage terror into the heart of the Kufaar with bad breath.
Business Plan:
Company Name: Wagaye ( when the ethiopians are passing by), Towfiiq(when the somali refugees are passing by), and Makkah Halaal (when the Islamist mujaahidiin are passing by).
Marketing: We plan to get Abdi Bille out of retirement to appear on our bottled waters. He will be wrapped in the Somali flag (again when somali refugees are buying the water), Gezahegne Abera will be donning the Ethiopian flag on the bottles for the Ethiopian troops. For the Islamist bottles, we still can't decide if we should sell bottles withpictures as we are afraid of getting arrested for idolatory.
Our Slogan will be:"Inte Anjeede?" It means where are you going in the local Maay dialect, implying that the water will get you as far as you want if you drink it.
Customers: Dehydrated skinnies, malnutrioned Ethiopian militias, and those who worry about the "huuro" (tartar) on their teeth.
Finances: As of right now, we are in the process of obtaining from the U.N, CARE, and World Vision, under our sister and parent company "Save Somalia"-relief organization working to alleviate poverty and hunger in areas where white relief workers won't go.
Operations: Duck and sell. Duck when mortars and bullets and fired, sell, sell, sell, to every man and woman and child with money.
