Musliima:
Dear kindly Colonel MAD MAC,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringin' upkeep
That gets us out of hand.
Our mothers all are gang raped,
Our fathers all are skunks.
Jesus H. Christ, naturally we're punks!
SOMALIS:
Gee, COLONEL MAD MAC, we're very upset;
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!
Musliima
There is good!
SOMALIS
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!
MAD MAC: That's a touchin' good story.
Musliima: Lemme tell it to the world!
MAD MAC: Just tell it to the judge.
Musliima
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My parents treat me rude.
with all the khat around us,
They won't give me a chew.
They didn't wanna have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!
Judge: (Basra)
COLONEL MAD MAC, you're really a square;
This girl don't need a judge, she needs an analyst's care!
It's just her neurosis that oughta be curbed.
See's psychologic'ly disturbed!
Mosliima
I'm disturbed!
Somalis:
We're disturbed, we're disturbed,
We're the most disturbed,
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.
Judge: In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.
Musliima: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.
MAD MAC: So take her to a headshrinker.
Musliima
My Awo is a bastard,
Hoyo's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister sister wears her niqab,
My brother wears a dress.
By Allah's grace, that's why I'm a mess!
Psychiatrist (Kamal):
COLONEL MAD MAC, you're really a slob.
This girl don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played her a terrible trick,
And sociologicly she's sick!
Mosliima
I am sick!
Somalis
We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick, sick, sick,
Like we're sociologically sick!
Shrink: In my opinion, this girl don't need to have her head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!
Mosliima: Hey, I got a social disease!
MAD MAC: So take her to a social worker!
Mosliima
Dear kindly social worker,
They say go earn a dough.
Like work at flippin' burgers,
Which means like be a schmoe.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work.
Allahu Akbar! That's why I'm a jerk!
Social Worker (Galol):
COLONEL MAD MAC, you've done it again.
This girl don't need a job, she needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside her, she's no good!
Mosliima
I'm no good!
Somalis:
We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!
Judge:
The trouble is she's crazy.
MAD MAC
The trouble's how she thinks.
Social worker
The trouble is she's lazy.
MAD MAC
The trouble is she stinks.
Psychologist
The trouble is she's growing.
Judge
The trouble is she's grown.
Somalis
MAD MAC, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, COLONEL MAD MAC,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a woman with a social disease.
Gee, COLONEL MAD MAC,
What are we to do?
Gee, COLONEL MAD MAC,
FOCK you!
