Source: Mensdaily
February 05, 2007
by Marc H. Rudov
Compelled to Give
It’s February again. This can mean only one thing: the dreaded, compulsory Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If you forgot, fear not: the onslaught of TV and radio commercials will remind you and remind you and remind you. There is no escaping them, and they all share a common theme: women are entitled to receive; men are compelled to give. Nothing quite captures the essence of love like female entitlement.
Ask the typical woman to define romance. I’ll lay odds that she’ll describe a man buying and/or doing something for her, without a word about spoiling him. Why such narcissism? Simple. Most women are raised to be self-absorbed takers, and insecure men continue to tolerate and enable them.
Are men worthless? Only if they never demand fairness and reciprocity from women — and many men don’t. Valentine’s Day, and all of its pathetic rituals, represents the failure of men to stand up to women — who, ironically, don’t respect these eunuchs and don’t sexually crave them, either.
Visualize the annual V-Day ritual: women clucking around their office water coolers and late-morning Pilates classes in anticipation of receiving Vermont Teddy Bears or long-stem roses, while men are wringing their hands, dreading this day, resenting the pressure, wondering what, if anything, would please their wives and girlfriends. Why such anxiety? No man wants to end up in the proverbial doghouse without sex.
What a pathetic picture: women using sex as a weapon; men living in fear. The evidence of “romance heaven†is clear: alimony and child-support cash registers are ringing nonstop, the marriage rate is falling, infidelity is rampant, the out-of-wedlock birthrate is skyrocketing, and children — society’s future parents — are more dysfunctional and immature than ever.
Tribute to Legal Prostitution
What is Valentine’s Day, really? An annual tribute to legal prostitution. After all, traditional dating and marriage are the chief platforms of an age-old prostitutional bartering system through which women receive gifts, cash, bling, stock, cars, meals, homes, vacations, clothes, college tuition, business partnerships, and spa memberships in exchange for sex.
Accordingly, Valentine’s Day is the capstone of legal prostitution — its epitome — because of the inescapable, pervasive societal and commercial pressure to perform that it imposes on men. Think I’m crazy? On February 14th, will your woman withhold sex if you don’t roll out the red carpet for her? Think about it.
Men humiliate and emasculate themselves by worshipping women throughout the year. And, it’s totally unnecessary: women are more sexual than men, and men must learn how to turn the tables. But, the groveling is never so acute as on Valentine’s Day, when men pay premiums for flowers and dinners and baubles. For what? To avoid a fight? To get laid?
What’s worse is that women continue to crave and demand these gifts that they know, by definition, are given insincerely and begrudgingly. Nothing quite defines romance like perfunctory obligation, as men told me in a survey I conducted in 2005 (read “Why Men Dread Valentine’s Dayâ€). Expected generosity, the crux of Valentine’s Day, is oxymoronic and moronic!
NoNonsense Bottom Line
Never, ever allow your woman to be the center of your relationship, as is too often the case. If that’s your unfortunate situation, you have no balls and no relationship. Valentine’s Day is the least of your troubles.
My solution to cure your Valentine’s Day blues is this: boycott it. That’s right, stay home. If February 13th and February 15th aren’t happy days for you, why would February 14th be an exception? If she insists on wasting money on February 14th, she’s a selfish, immature golddigger.
Here are three, quick rules to gauge your relationship’s temperature on Valentine’s Day:
If she’s a selfish taker who expects you to entertain her, dump her. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to do that.
If your woman threatens to break up or withhold sex if you don’t take her out on this commercial occasion, end it with her on February 13th. Imagine what she’ll tell the girls at the office the next day!
If your “relationship†is so utterly boring and empty that you use February 14th as an excuse to pretend that all is well, break up ASAP — do yourselves a big favor.
Real romance is about spontaneity, choice, and reciprocity. Valentine’s Day, on the other hand, is contrived, commercial, unilateral nonsense. If you want to do something special and genuine, choose her birthday and other times when she least expects it. Anything done on Valentine’s Day is a joke.
Parting words: If you kiss a woman’s ass, at any time and for any reason, especially on Valentine’s Day, you can kiss your own ass — and the wallet attached to it — goodbye.
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 40 articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper CablesTM (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet EarthTM (ISBN 0974501719).
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at http://TheNoNonsenseMan.com/.
Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.
every girl and guy loves to be treated. Damn right!
Absolutely nothing wrong with being romantic with the person you love...Whatever it takes...
