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Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 6:50 pm
by Grant
A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"


The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.


The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photo shop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.


Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."


"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches as the young man selects one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"


The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"


You're a Congressman for the U. S. Government", says the cowboy.


"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:01 pm
by Gamadid.
Nice one Grant. Don't you hate people who take the rest of us for morons.

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:08 pm
by PragmaticGal
You know who does that the most? Computer technicians. They talk to you like you don't know where the power button on your PC is.

"Can you click on the icon in the lower left corner of your screen where it says Start?"

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:11 pm
by Gamadid.
May be you have a thick accent Prags Laughing Laughing comes with the territory.

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:15 pm
by Reuter
Grant u sound dumb if u think that was a joke. Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:17 pm
by Gamadid.
Perhaps the joke was a little more advanced for your brain-cells Reuter Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:19 pm
by Reuter
Gamadid do i know you?You have a nice guy reputation, please dont enter my ocean. Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:20 pm
by Reuter
redandunt.

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:20 pm
by michael_ital
Good one!!

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:25 pm
by Gamadid.
Reuter, I won't lose my reputation if you speak your mind sis Laughing Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:28 pm
by Reuter
Gamadid

How do u know i am a sis? Do i have a sis written on my forehead? Address me as a bro please. Laughing Laughing Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:30 pm
by Gamadid.
As you wish madam Laughing Laughing

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:32 pm
by Reuter
get lost!

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:43 pm
by Gamadid.
Reuter, Your protests sound so feminine, can't mask the Estrogen laced emotions pretty well. I will cut you some slack if you ask politely though Laughing Will let you pass as a male. What do you say abaayo?

Re: Discerning the apparent

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:46 pm
by PragmaticGal
LOL, behave yourself Gamadid.

It could be the accent though, imagine a Somali accent with hints of Portuguese and Korean and you're hearing me Laughing