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Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

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abdi342
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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:35 am

FAH1223 wrote:yeah a young girl like 18 got married to an african american guy few months ago

though the community hasn't disowned her or her family from my understanding



I can ensure you that she was from one of the despised tribe back in Somalia. But whole nation can never be pure of sinfulness. If that black was a pagan then she realy did something wrong and commited a sin. But if he was a Muslim then she has every right to marry him. The colour does not say anything. I do regret seeing such events but you cant help. Our young brothers are to be blamed as they have neglected and abandoned our young girls. I wish you all the best!

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby FAH1223 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:17 pm

abdi342 wrote:
FAH1223 wrote:yeah a young girl like 18 got married to an african american guy few months ago

though the community hasn't disowned her or her family from my understanding



I can ensure you that she was from one of the despised tribe back in Somalia. But whole nation can never be pure of sinfulness. If that black was a pagan then she realy did something wrong and commited a sin. But if he was a Muslim then she has every right to marry him. The colour does not say anything. I do regret seeing such events but you cant help. Our young brothers are to be blamed as they have neglected and abandoned our young girls. I wish you all the best!


She was Ogaden :roll:

i dunno how young guys neglect them

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE » Sun Mar 22, 2009 5:15 pm

18 :shock:

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby snoop12 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 5:21 pm

shes not in education whiles being 18 :arrow: :arrow:

Murax so you will give your future daughters to non-somalis, good luck with that man :up: :lol:

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Mon Mar 23, 2009 4:58 am

FAH1223 wrote:
abdi342 wrote:
FAH1223 wrote:yeah a young girl like 18 got married to an african american guy few months ago

though the community hasn't disowned her or her family from my understanding



I can ensure you that she was from one of the despised tribe back in Somalia. But whole nation can never be pure of sinfulness. If that black was a pagan then she realy did something wrong and commited a sin. But if he was a Muslim then she has every right to marry him. The colour does not say anything. I do regret seeing such events but you cant help. Our young brothers are to be blamed as they have neglected and abandoned our young girls. I wish you all the best!


She was Ogaden :roll:

i dunno how young guys neglect them



Because we as men must marry our women so that there is less chance for foriegns to get our girls. If we donot court them whoelse are you waiting for to fulfil our jobs. kkkkk. wish you good luck sis.

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby FAH1223 » Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:50 pm

abdi342 wrote:
Because we as men must marry our women so that there is less chance for foriegns to get our girls. If we donot court them whoelse are you waiting for to fulfil our jobs. kkkkk. wish you good luck sis.


im a dude sxb

and no somali dude is getting married at 18

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:34 pm

I do appologize! I did not mean to upset you calling you sis but I mistook in you. Neverthless I disagree with your whole idea of marrying with black and being married at the age of 18 years. I will calisify which reason I donot agree!

1- First every one is free to marry whosoever he wants to marry as long as that person to whom he or she is marrying is MUSLIM. It is according to the Sharia legal. Allah created us from different colours and we must acknowledge that every person of human being has same feeling. Every believer is your brother according to Quran and you cant segregate a black Muslim if he is engaged or marrying even your sister. If you seem not to like him marrying then you should have a good reason which is most satisfactory to your sister.

2- There is no age limit for marriage. You can marry in age of 15 or even younger than that age. You can study while you are married. It doesnot mean you become feeble if you are married or you will have to stay indoors to take care of childeren. You have a life and huge responsibility so you must work hard for your family. I have seen with my eyes a boy of 17 marrying a girl of 16 both parents were happy and the couple were both living with their parents. I live in Birmingham UK therefore I would advice you all to marry in young age.

I wish you good luck gentelman!

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby FAH1223 » Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:26 pm

abdi, i don't care either way for that chick, its not my life.. i already know all the islamic details on that issue

its just a head scratcher, you sellin yourself short by not going to school and all that

but like i said before it is what is

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:57 am

Brother as said you cant predict your future it depends on Allah and he is the only knower to where you belong. I know you are displeased with such interference. But indeed it is much better she has kept herself with that black. I would rather see her marrying him than roaming around sexually.

I know people are different in sex matter particularly men and that is why Allah has allowed them to marry till 4 wives. So donot be surprised that that girl in her teenage got married and her family was happy. It is better for a girl to get married than to become a prostitute.

Wish you good luck

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby Firefly » Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:25 am

abdi342 wrote:Brother as said you cant predict your future it depends on Allah and he is the only knower to where you belong. I know you are displeased with such interference. But indeed it is much better she has kept herself with that black. I would rather see her marrying him than roaming around sexually.

I know people are different in sex matter particularly men and that is why Allah has allowed them to marry till 4 wives. So donot be surprised that that girl in her teenage got married and her family was happy. It is better for a girl to get married than to become a prostitute.

Wish you good luck


I hope you're not implying that girls who don't get married become prostitutes, walaal. There are girls who remain chaste without ever having fornicated (and the same for guys). Those are the sisters that have preserved their chastity in obedience to their Creator.

I think you have misunderstood FAH, he is not saying that the girl shouldn't have got married, but he is trying to say that she is quite young, and that it would've been better for her to focus on her education first before making a lifelong commitment. In any case, the girl could probably be married and continue with her education. However, it's really hard to juggle marital life and studies. However, she dropped out of school. Do you think this is responsible walaal?

You can't put a concrete age to marriage, like you've pointed out getting married young can prevent a lot of fitna, especially in the West where people openly practice lewdness. However, I think most 18 year olds are not emotionally mature, or financially stable to take on such a huge responsibility like marriage. During, our parents time it was the norm for girls to be married off at the age of 15. Perhaps children matured earlier then? Or they had extended family helping/supporting them? Things were different.

I believe teens should be giving the time to perfect their character, their education & their social awareness before they enter into a lifelong commitment.

They should be psychologically & emotionally mature & fit to be ideal parents. And, I do believe it also depends on the indivdual some are far more mature than their age group. But the reality is most teens are not responsible enough to enter into a marriage.

What's the point of a girl getting married at the age of 18, only to get divorced at 20 with 2 kids? I've seen this happen all too often.

There are other routes to explore in order to prevent Zina. Like lowering the gaze? Fasting? Not mixing with the opposite gender? I think other options should be exhausted before opening the door to matrimony.

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:57 pm

I sincerly do apologize if my post caused any dismay. I neither did imply anything nor utilized abusive words against any one out here. But I did utter my words. Remember we are brothers and sisters giving each other advice!

I said there is no age limit in marrage. Every one has right to marry at any age he/she feels is capable. Evenif one is studying at school is perfect once he/ she can subdue or otherwise abandon for the sake of your family unification. If one is threatened to be dismissed from school then is allright continue with your life it is not the end leave school. It is more important to keep your family happy than to put that school on the first category. If you are afraid of being penniless then Allah will enrich you utmost so donot abandon your family keep performing your duties.

2- I said you can marry to whom ever you want marry unless a pagan then you commit a zinah. White or black is not essential if he/she is MUSLIM. Think to whom you are marrying in order to accomplish ever lasting marriage.

Firefly your posts are confronting each other and not relavant to mine! Lower gaze or fasting is in this matter for youths but marriage is indeed ADVISABLE!
Dropouts... how many dropouts we have seen and not married. It is not nonsensical. Many are dismissed or banned for enterance due to drug adict or something else.

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby Firefly » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:57 pm

abdi342 wrote:I sincerly do apologize if my post caused any dismay. I neither did imply anything nor utilized abusive words against any one out here. But I did utter my words. Remember we are brothers and sisters giving each other advice!


Apology accepted walaal. It just seemed like that's what you were implying. Yes, you're right, we're just giving each other advice. Alhamdulillah.

abdi342 wrote:I said there is no age limit in marrage. Every one has right to marry at any age he/she feels is capable. Evenif one is studying at school is perfect once he/ she can subdue or otherwise abandon for the sake of your family unification. If one is threatened to be dismissed from school then is allright continue with your life it is not the end leave school. It is more important to keep your family happy than to put that school on the first category. If you are afraid of being penniless then Allah will enrich you utmost so donot abandon your family keep performing your duties.


I agree with you, there's no age limit to marriage. But I think to have a good education and/or a stable job is necessary before you get married. If you're going to raise a family, it's better to be responsible. To be honest, a mother's education is very important to the child, because she's the one who will pass on her knowledge to the child, since she'll be the primary caregiver. I'd like all my Somali sisters to be educated, insha-Allah. Living in the West means we have a lot of opportunities to gain knowledge (Islamic education, and other types of knowledge) I don't think there's any excuse not to take advantage of all these opportunities. Islam encourages us to learn, and to gain knowledge, from the cradle to the grave. The first Ayah revealed to our Beloved Prophet (saw) was 'Recite, in the Name of your Lord, who has created (all that exists)' [Surah Al-Alaq 1] which shows the importance of education. She can study whilst she's married, but it's going to be really difficult to balance marital life and studies. Personally, I don't think I could balance both. If you had a daughter, at what age would you think she's ready for marriage? Would you want her to complete her education first, or would you marry her off as soon as she's 18?

abdi342 wrote:2- I said you can marry to whom ever you want marry unless a pagan then you commit a zinah. White or black is not essential if he/she is MUSLIM. Think to whom you are marrying in order to accomplish ever lasting marriage.


Yes, true. I agree. You should marry someone you're compatible with, and someone who will bring you closer to Allah (swt).

abdi342 wrote:Firefly your posts are confronting each other and not relavant to mine! Lower gaze or fasting is in this matter for youths but marriage is indeed ADVISABLE!
Dropouts... how many dropouts we have seen and not married. It is not nonsensical. Many are dismissed or banned for enterance due to drug adict or something else.


I'm not sure I understand, what do you mean my posts are confronting each other? How is it not relevant? If man/woman is unable to get married, because they don't have the money, but they fear committing Zina, they should try hard to lower their gaze, fast more, and try hard not to mix with the opposite gender. All I'm saying is marriage is not the ONLY answer if you want to avoid falling in to Zina, there are other ways to prevent yourself. I don't think you should rush into marriage, especially 18 yr olds, most of them are not capable of taking on all the responsibilities of marriage.

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby abdi342 » Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:20 pm

Thanks very much and convery my compliments! To start with age limit I still insist on being positive that there is no age limit. Sis donot put different things together in one basket. It all depends on the persons will. If she wants she can pursue her study or else cease and emphasize her family issue. Remember we talked about a girl married at age of 18 and I said is okey as long as she is happy with. We know today a girl of 18 knows how to write and read so what else you want her to be. I agree a mother must not be illiterate in this world of today but I disagree girl reached over 18 and not marrying and going to University all by herself. How long can a girl keep herself from badness and how long can she keep herself in seclusion. Very low rate! Come on sister we are not in Somalia! We have this kind of facilities and it is very hard for single person to be devotional. Do you get my point?

Believe me marriage is the only solution which can perevent Zinah! To lower gaze and fast is for short period and in this matter not advisable for youths!
No one said it is compulsory suppose if you want marry and you are told to be over 18 I assure you you would feel pity. I would not enforce my daughter to marry on the spot but I will leave it all to her best will even though I would not like to see her around each day carrying endless books. A GIRL MUST BE EITHER IN MAN`S HOUSE OR IN GRAVE!

I wish you good luck!

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby Firefly » Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:50 pm

abdi342 wrote:Thanks very much and convery my compliments!


Your welcome.

abdi342 wrote:We know today a girl of 18 knows how to write and read so what else you want her to be.


I want her to have some sort of education, just to be prepared for anything that might happen in the future. She needs to have something to fall back on in case her husband leaves her, or in case he gets ill, and is unable to continue providing for the family. Anything can happen walaal. It's better to be prepared, than to be sorry.

abdi342 wrote:I agree a mother must not be illiterate in this world of today but I disagree girl reached over 18 and not marrying and going to University all by herself. How long can a girl keep herself from badness and how long can she keep herself in seclusion. Very low rate! Come on sister we are not in Somalia! We have this kind of facilities and it is very hard for single person to be devotional. Do you get my point?


You don't have much faith in girls do you? I'm over 18 walaal, and I haven't come near Zina, and I know many girls like me who also haven't gone near Zina. Girls tend to have a strong willpower, and they're able to resist sexual desires. How do you know it's a very low rate horta? Did you do a study? Subhanallah. You've just painted girls who are not married and in unversity as promiscuous.

abdi342 wrote:Believe me marriage is the only solution which can perevent Zinah! To lower gaze and fast is for short period and in this matter not advisable for youths!


Marriage is a solution, but I don't think it's the only solution. It's not the only solution when you're 18 and a broke student who still lives at home, or an 18 yr old student who lives on her/his own and strugglin' to keep up with payments.


abdi342 wrote:No one said it is compulsory suppose if you want marry and you are told to be over 18 I assure you you would feel pity. I would not enforce my daughter to marry on the spot but I will leave it all to her best will even though I would not like to see her around each day carrying endless books. A GIRL MUST BE EITHER IN MAN`S HOUSE OR IN GRAVE!


If I was 18 and I was told to not marry - I would thank the person who gave me that advice. Why would you not like to see her around carrying books each day? What's wrong with that?

abdi342 wrote:A GIRL MUST BE EITHER IN MAN`S HOUSE OR IN GRAVE!

Do you really believe this? I know it's best for a girl to stay at her parents home until she's married. That's safer for her. But we're not living in a fairytale world walaal. There are girls who don't have a family, what about them? Girls who are not married but study and have to live on campus, what about them? Girls who are divorced, and find themselves living on their own with their baby, what about them? The world is not just black and white, there are a lot of grey areas. To say if a girl is not in a man's house, she should be in a grave, is quite insulting to girls who find themselves in unfortunate circumstance like the examples I gave above.

Wish you all the best.

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Re: Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy

Postby RebelLion1 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:14 pm

Firefly is fired up :mrgreen:

Girls should stay in school and at home till their 30. :up:


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