Postby Firefly » Fri May 08, 2009 8:10 am
SnS:- You're spot on sis. I guess it's a natural inbuilt instinct to want to experience what it feels like. Once I asked my mother why she's so concerned about my brothers, 'cause they're grown men, and I'll never forget what she said to me. She'll like you'll understand markaad hooyo noqotid.
BV:- lol, you're always playin' the devil's advocate eh? But good point sis. See, that's exactly what she was arguing, about over-population etc.. but why can't you have your own children and still decide to adopt? I mean if Angelina Jolie and co can do it, why not the rest of us? Why must you choose either this or that? That's what I was arguing against. She was saying if you're in a loving relationship you should consider adoption first and foremost, and don't think about having your own children. Being adoptive parents doesn't make you better than biological parents and vice versa, 'cause at the end of the day you're performing the same task. One of my friend's mother has fostered over 10 children, and she has 3 biological children, and 2 adopted children. So it's possible to do both, if you're willing to.
The counter-argument doesn't have to be emotional, it can be as logical as the initial point that's being raised. All I'm saying it's not selfish, it’s encoded in our being to reproduce. It’s our purpose. Saying it’s selfish seems to ignore the fact that reproducing really is what our, and every other animal’s, primary purpose is.
Helwaa:- Thanks huni. You're right sis. The psychological, emotional and financial investment in pregnancy is vast. indeed, there's a reason why Jannah lies under the mother's feet.
surrender:- lol, I didn't say adoption was bad sis. It's actually a noble choice, but it's a personal one, and people should not be berated just 'cause they want to have their own biological offspring. Not everyone can adopt, and not everyone believes they'll be able to do a good job etc, same way that not everyone believes they can be a good parent. but should they be denied the right to want to be parents? No, right?
Why do you not want to get pregnant? Is it just fear?
I dont think adopting a baby and having one is the same. There is something special about 'someone' that you carried for 9 months in your belly, that Allah (swt) blessed with you and your husband. 
