Your Ideal Man

[DisplacedDiraac]

WestLdn 9 miyaad joogta hada?

Looks have never been that important to me honestly speaking. I've never fancied the hot guy that all the girls were after, I find them a bit vain and annoying.

@ 9 miyaad joogta hada

Just because I post old men now and again doesn't mean I have a wack taste..

You know what.. I've never really fancied a guy *except maybe 1*.. Anyway I have a ideal look in my head/mind but I've never seen him nor a guy who comes close to him in real life nor on TV/magz..
I suppose I have an unrealistic taste in men..

Plus I've never been into the typical hot guys girls run after either.. They look xuux compared to the ideal guy in my mind

I thought you truly had a bit of a thing for grandfathers to be honest lol and you've only ever fancied one guy? My first crush was when I was 10

This guy in your mind must be super hot for him to be unrealistic, I'm curious, who does he look like/what qualities does he have? I can't imagine that mine can be considered unrealistic. If good character, trustworthyness, honourability and attraction is asking too much then I'm probably not going to be getting married.

.. WOW!
My first and ever crush was at 18.. .. He was almost the one.. But not close enough..

Anyway the guy in my mind is BEYOND HOT!... He's above 6'2, but below 6'5.. Chocolate, killer smile and all that good stuff.. Personality wise wa dahab.. Very patient, strong, great manners, ability to problem solve, honest/trustable, no hidden agendas *what you see is what you get type-of guy*, no shady past *Major turn off*, humble, has trust in Allah *good deen*, the sorta good character which people look up to *role model*, ambitious , very caring, easy to get along with, not too demanding.. I could go on and on!

But like I said previously I could make exceptions for exceptional men

[BlackVelvet]

Mashallah you are all very mature with your expectations. WstLdn what you've described (besides the "BEYOND HOT!" comment ) seems quite reasonable, the kind of man to make a good husband and a good father, it is a sad world we live in if that is an unrealistic man

Habloow....would you ever get with a guy that's shorter than you? Be it only a couple of inches or a foot and more shorter would you consider it?
'Dude has to be taller than me' is always at the top of my list when thinking of my ideal man....everything else comes under that. Heck, anytime a guy who is below my height approaches me...I always think "Are they serious?". Maybe a little harsh but thats always what comes to mind....

Yeah kinda harsh

I'm not too bothered by height to be honest. If I meet my ideal man in terms of spirit and personality it wouldn't matter if he was 6ft 7 or 5ft 6 heck it wouldn't matter if he was a Dinka or a white guy. It's all about the spirit of the person IMO. If you're happy with your image of what your babies will look like and interested in the part that leads to that then waa bash bash iyo barwaaqo

Besides, I've got the tall gene so my sons are relatively safe.

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

^^^^ Cadaan? Dinka? Are we talking another language here. Abaa waa ku baariye, no ajnabi! Naga daa please, for the love of God we are not even 1st Generation, what will remian of the 'Oh-so-exquisite' Somali blood if we marry out.

Whatever You do though don't be the super aggressive, I woo the guy type because its a major turnoff. Leave chasing to the Men

Luugooyo waxiid, we'll blame you if we all end on the shelves, ileen these days lots of girls get guys through chasing them.

Habloow....would you ever get with a guy that's shorter than you? Be it only a couple of inches or a foot and more shorter would you consider it?
'Dude has to be taller than me' is always at the top of my list when thinking of my ideal man....everything else comes under that. Heck, anytime a guy who is below my height approaches me...I always think "Are they serious?". Maybe a little harsh but thats always what comes to mind....

I would, even though I don't like short guys. I just think at the end if he ticks LOADS of other important stuff his height shouldn't matter too much. I like tall guys, my mum is tall, so really I'm just looking out for future hubby. It can be embarrassing if your future mother-in-law is taller than you.

No, not harsh at all Don't they have any shame anyways? These guys man BTW, I don't think I have to worry too much, most guys are taller than me.

WestldnShawty,

I like your guy, have you found him yet?

[haxxor]

These guys you girls have been fantasying about is pretty easy to find. Unless they've been rejecting you.

[DisplacedDiraac]

Mashallah you are all very mature with your expectations. WstLdn what you've described (besides the "BEYOND HOT!" comment ) seems quite reasonable, the kind of man to make a good husband and a good father, it is a sad world we live in if that is an unrealistic man

It really would be..
I've been told many times that it was pretty unrealistic though..
I guess it's pretty difficult rather than unrealistic to find the WHOLE package.. From Looks, to character, deen, height, sense of humour, great family and finally ambitions..

WestldnShawty,

I like your guy, have you found him yet?

Unfortunately not yet..

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

^^ My dear sis, if you have not found him yet, he most likely does not exist!

I'm surrrounded by many men, I have never seen that sort of package, and if they do exist then they must be rare.

In my honest opinion ninmanka Soomalida do not have the best personality, and if they do then they are not the best looking, but even if they have the personality and looks, they don't have the deen, it is rare to find that great combo. Whereas I have seen plenty of Somali girls that fit that category. I'm sorry but I have not seen many practising Somali men, it is getting better though these days, Alhamdulilah. Go to any event Islamic event in London and the majority are Asians, Other blacks and non-Somalis, heck you'd find more reverts there than Somalis, and how can that be? We are many in London MaashaAllah. Whereas the female section of the event, we Somalis girls are many and you can easily spot us.

[DisplacedDiraac]

You have a point Warsan.. Especially the bit about not finding Somali guys with the totally package.. Deenta is a MASSIVE thing to me and even though our brothers are starting to slowly increase in practising the deen.. They are still lacking behind big time! Waliba majority of them ones have messed up pasts
But than again I really dont go to Islamic events.. So the same could be said for them, you never know!

I sorta came across someone who was very close to my ideal man when I was about 18.. But he was heavily lacking in the ambition/education department, plus I wasn't ready for marriage back than.. To be honest I dont think I'm ready now.. But If my ideal man came along today I wouldn't let him pass by... No way!!

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

^^Lol, the guys also say that about the girls, the majority of religious girls have messed up past, which is completely not true. It might be the case for some but definitely not all. I tend to ignore the shady past as long as it doesn't involve 'murder' 'big crimes' and etc, Allah swt forgives so I try not to judge harsh, I can't see myself marrying an ex 'rapist' or 'murderer.' Laakin, things like he went to 'ruwiyaad' several times, I don't see that as a major issue. You are right though, a lot of the guys become more practising in prison, hence why the majority would have shady pasts, this is also for Blacks and all those who became 'Muslims' in prison. Ilahay haa naa astuuroo. Amiin

Lol, West sis, I have concluded you will never be 100% ready for marriage, some days I think oh marriage is a piece of cake, other days I panick and think oh goodness my freedom, my this, my that. I definitely wouldn't recommend you let go of your ideal man!!! InshaAllah you will meet your ideal man, or that exact guy but now he has the education and the ambitions.

[Lord Diplock]

I have bad new for you guys: you will wait for a long time to get these kind magical men you guys are describing..life is too short to worry about the 'complete combo' and stuff like that. No one is perfect and what really matter is: do we get along? because, marriage is not a one month thing, it is a whole lifetime commitment. I wish you all the best. If you persist with this mindset, some of you will need it....

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

Thanks for advice. But seriously, some of us have an easy going personalities making us get along with most people Alhamdulilah. Marka, just getting married to any guy we get along with is not an option.

Actually loads of things matter; does he work? does he chew jaad? does he have good personality? Is he a hermit? Abusive? Ex-divorcee? Has kids all over the place like a jamiacan? does he smoke, drink? womnaizer? does he love his parents or family? does want kids?

See, lots of things matter. Lord forbid I should ever be married to the above. I'd pity myself.

[Lord Diplock]

That is understandable walaal, perfectly understandable and many guys would fit that billing, what is not possible is this: a complete package, deen, good looks, great job, university education, no dodgy background, good character, not a miser, and the list of unrealistic demand goes on.

Subhanallah, I know a relative who eventually married a guy for the sake of it after her unreliastic demand went fulfilled, she 'lowered' herself and married some faarax out there in South Africa who probably works in some Indian shop I guess..

Don't make yourself cheap, but be realistic is my advice. if there is chemistry, then you are on the right avenue, the rest is important but chemistry and love come first, without that, nothing will work in my view.

Maybe we Somalis blokes have 'failed' you guys, why can't you guys try other Muslim brothers...

[SultanOrder]

I'm learning the deen, but it's hard. I didn't know the prayer was so hard, there are so many things to know, and a lot of mistakes I've been making. Alhamdulilah I have a good sheikh, he knows me pretty well, maybe I should ask him to hook me up with a good sister, I've been told there are some beautiful somali treasures hidden in the city, who are right with their deen, hardly known, and looking to get married.

My ideal women is, height between 5 5'' and 5-7 1/2, covered up, don't believe niqab is wajib but sunnah, I would never tell her to wear it but if she choses to then masha'allah I will support her jihad. Personality wise, geared towards pleasing Allah and fulfilling her deen, spreading the message of Islam with character and conduct, and da'wa, her knowledge can be very little but pious, but aptitude to learn plus with what I know she can learn a few things from me, a go getter attitude, and then wanting the nice things of this world second so that way we won't want just be poor. A lot of other traits like patience, trust in Allah, envy, anger issues (as long as she isn't mad), strong courage, can be instilled in a person and devoloped so long as they are willing to work on it. If I had to go for looks, the beautiful somali look I really look, I love mariin look, soft hair, and an attractive figure. She doesn't have to have great deal of education or anything, at least not right now, because she has a lot of time to go to school and get a degree.

Baiscally other than the looks, my greatest desirer would be for her to have a real desire of better herself, and developing character. And she should be my bedrock of support, and clever enough to know how I work, and encourage me.

[BlackVelvet]

LMAO@ some of the things you guys have said

Warsan@ "has kids all over the place like a Jamicaan" wth, funniest comment in the thread

And about "shaddy past" I thought we were talking about clubbing, having had a few girls, maybe shisha or tried weed when he was younger, that I thought was a shaddy past but ex-murderer!, ex-rapist!, gabdho what the fudge?! That is not a shaddy past that is a criminal!

Warsan I am not so attached to the whole Somali thing, if I met a man who was respectful and kind and family oriented and honest and dignfied and religious and down to earth...his race would be the last thing on my mind. I'd say alxamdulillah and take it with a big smile

I don't see how WstLdn's guy can be unrealistic, which part? The looks are subjective, the rest are great but surely not aiming too high:

Very patient, strong, great manners, ability to problem solve, honest/trustable, no hidden agendas *what you see is what you get type-of guy*, no shady past *Major turn off*, humble, has trust in Allah *good deen*, the sorta good character which people look up to *role model*, ambitious , very caring, easy to get along with, not too demanding

It's what everyone should be aiming to be and I know a lot of Somali girls like this and a few guys as well

Now if you'd said, millionaire, CEO of a company, xifdul Quran, mensa member, voulunteers at his local hospital, fasts every monday and thursday...that kind of stuff is perhaps unrealistic lakin really, humility, kindness, ambition, trustworthy...if this kind of stuff is aiming too high what kind of people are we marrying?

[SultanOrder]

I just saw a thread that made me forget something, must have xishood and dhaqan, somethings shouldn't be said.

[burhaan2010]

ghabdho. share man. theres more woman than man. marke its better to share, sbecially if u are older like most u here. caruur ha iska dhigana, naago waa weyn baad tihiin.