Advice To Muslim Women Regarding Their Husbands

[grandpakhalif]

The husband’s rights over his wife are greater indeed than the wife’s rights over him. To such an extent that if prostration would have been permisible to other than Allaah, the wife would have to prostrate (do sujood) to her husband.

PROOF:

Aboo Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allaah said:

“No one should prostrate to anyone else, but if anyone were to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to thier husbands, because of the great rights that Allaah has given to them.”

[Ibn Hibbaan, Al-Ihsaan, 4150. Al-Bayhaqee, Al-Kubra, 7/291, with a hasan isnaad]

Wa billahi towfiiq

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

And the proof for this is in the authentic hadeeth in Ahmad:

Husayn Ibn Muhsin reported from a paternal aunt of his (1) who went to the prophet (saw) concerning some need of hers, that after she has met her need, the Messenger of Allaah said to her: ”Do you have a husband?“

She said, “Yes.”

He said: ”How are you with him?“

She said, “I would do everything for him except that which I am not able to do.“

He said: ”Be careful how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.“

[Ahmad 4/341. Al-Nisaa'ee. Al-Tabaraanee. Al-Haakim 2/189 via several isnaads. Its isnaad is saheeh]

The righteous wife obeys her husband.

Allah says, describing righteous women:

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husbnands property).” [4:34]

Sufyaan ath-Thawree said:

“Qaanitaat (translated here as devoutly obedient) means that they obey Allaah and their husbands.”

[Ibn Jareer 5/38, with a saheeh isnaad]

The Messenger of Allaah was asked as to who was the best of all women, to which he (saw) replied:

“The one who obeys (her husband) when she is commanded.“

[Al-Nisaa'ee, 6/68, with a saheeh isnaad]

Likewise, the Prophet (saw) said:

“When a woman (a) observes her five obligatory prayers, (b) fasts during Ramadan, (c) preserves her chastity and (d) obeys her husband, she may enter Paradise by any gate she wishes.”

[Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Ahmad, at-Tabarani and authenticated by Al-Albaani]

A Quick Note To Sisters Regarding The Whole ‘Obedience’ Thing:

Obedience to the husband is compulsory in all matters except where he asks you to disobey Allaah. Likewise, obedience is a way to achieve hapiness in ones marriage life as no man can be patient over a disobedient wife. Obedience is a good quality, however, at times of disputes when he is angry, that is the time, when one really needs to exercise this obligation.

Although the obedience may seem difficult for some, tough for others, even a struggle for the newly weds, Allaah, The Most Just, The Most Wise, says:

”Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.” [29:2]

[zulaika]

all i gotta say about this is....

UNDERSTANDING IS BETTER THAN KNOWING

[KingMJ]

Lets just say this is gonna change a lot of things in my future, thanks grandpa my future married life is gonna be completely different

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

That will be my quote in Marriage from now on

[BlackVelvet]

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) used to mend his own clothes or shoes and help his wives with their daily chores. His wife Aishah (may Allah exalt their mention) was once asked:

"What did the Messenger of Allah use to do while at home?"
She responded: "He used to serve and assist his household, and when he would hear the call to prayer, he would leave to pray."

[Bukhari #644]

[burhaan2010]

Lets just say this is gonna change a lot of things in my future, thanks grandpa my future married life is gonna be completely different

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

That will be my quote in Marriage from now on

u are in charge of your wife sxb, always intaas xasuuso. she's like your children.

[SultanOrder]

Lets just say this is gonna change a lot of things in my future, thanks grandpa my future married life is gonna be completely different

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

That will be my quote in Marriage from now on

u are in charge of your wife sxb, always intaas xasuuso. she's like your children.

There is many times a man who will be written down as a tyrant, and all he was in charge of was his household. - Muhammad scw

[grandpakhalif]

BV, thats great walaal, I dont see how that conflicts with the daliil

[BlackVelvet]

What I am about to quote is an argument that many men have used and continue to use to justify abusing their wives:

The husband’s rights over his wife are greater indeed than the wife’s rights over him. To such an extent that if prostration would have been permisible to other than Allaah, the wife would have to prostrate (do sujood) to her husband.

PROOF:

Aboo Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allaah said:

“No one should prostrate to anyone else, but if anyone were to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to thier husbands, because of the great rights that Allaah has given to them.”

[Ibn Hibbaan, Al-Ihsaan, 4150. Al-Bayhaqee, Al-Kubra, 7/291, with a hasan isnaad]

Wa billahi towfiiq

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

The point in my post was pointing out the balance that the prophet (saw) displayed in his own life. The things that you quoted have a decidedly subjugating and autocratic streak. Life's about maintaining a balance wouldn't you agree?

[KingMJ]

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) used to mend his own clothes or shoes and help his wives with their daily chores. His wife Aishah (may Allah exalt their mention) was once asked:

"What did the Messenger of Allah use to do while at home?"
She responded: "He used to serve and assist his household, and when he would hear the call to prayer, he would leave to pray."

[Bukhari #644]

Allah house chores thats my worse nightmare

[grandpakhalif]

Yes, its about balance and moderation its good that a husband helps out his wife, no one is saying she has to be a house slave

[SultanOrder]

My alhamdulilah leaned Shaykh Abdulkareem Yahya was just saying the night before last night, in giving commentary on Riyadh Salihin when it was talking about women, and how if she refuses the bed of her husband and he sleeps angry the angels curse her until the morning and Allah becomes displeased with her [paraphase].

He taught us to not interpret it in a literal sense but to understand that it was indication of the seriousness and severity of it, because it becomes an abuse of the rights a husband has over his wife, but likewise it can go in reverse, and the wifes right could be abused, and the rebuke can be just as severe. He used some technical terms in is explanation, which I didn't understand, but it helped me understand that some of these hadiths aren't literal in their sense, and he has more knowledge in conveying that understanding than I do.

[BlackVelvet]

Treating each other with respect and honour seems like such a basic thing, no sane person who is interested in maintaing a marriage would argue with this.

Lakin a quote like this:

“No one should prostrate to anyone else, but if anyone were to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to thier husbands, because of the great rights that Allaah has given to them.”

What is it trying to prove? Don't get emotional when answering.

What I am asking is, I understand that a husband has rights, so does a wife, why are the husband's rights greater? Greater as in eg he'd need sex and food more desperately or greater as in his needs count for more? In terms of prostrating, the person whom you owe the most to in this world is your mother. We have never been asked to even consider prostrating to our mothers. Saying such a story or making such a quote, is the person just trying to cause offence?

[grandpakhalif]

PO, I think that non-literal approach can be very dangerous walaal, what's next? "The hijab isn't compulsory god only meant covering as in a moral sense!" It will open up a pandora box that will lead to the watering down of our religion.

BV,

Indeed the husband's rights are greater because he is the commander and household leader of the house, god made us naturally, physically and mentally right for this role. Challenging his position is akin to challenging God's decree.

Wa billahi towfiiq.

[BlackVelvet]

PO, I think that non-literal approach can be very dangerous walaal, what's next? "The hijab isn't compulsory god only meant covering as in a moral sense!" It will open up a pandora box that will lead to the watering down of our religion.

BV,

Indeed the husband's rights are greater because he is the commander and household leader of the house, god made us naturally, physically and mentally right for this role. Challenging his position is akin to challenging God's decree.

Wa billahi towfiiq.

That's going too far. We're not Hindu, your husband is not a mini god. Istaqfurullah.

[grandpakhalif]

We are talking of course within the limits of religion, if he tells you to throw the hijab then he is transgressor that can be fought.

There's no such thing as mini-god it is simply a matter of obedience.