I think the biggest fallacy someone can come to the conclusion of is to say that one or the others rights are greater. It just seems so when one is repeated more and emphasized over the other due to I believe, 1. a monopoly of men having access to religious knowledge, 2. men always needing someway to "control" their women, 3. peoples obsession with carnal desires. If a man was to leave his wife hungry, how many people would debate about that, but the shariah is absolutely against that and the punishment for something like that is extreme. People have two basic appetites, sex and food. You can easily understand that by looking all around you in this world, especially here where things are made very explicit. Men and women have desires, and Allah through his mercy has created spouses for us as a means of fulfilling them, and enjoying it. So when either of the spouses neglects each others rights it becomes a gross breach and injustice of the covenant they came into with illahay.
Now having understood that, we must always look at these legal injunctions in the frame and purpose of the shariah. The Sharia has five main objectives, and one of them is society. It is well known that of our less scrupulous brothers, if their needs aren't being fulfilled they will look else where, and unfortunately there has always been a buisness willing to fulfill every needs. This harms the society, though I am not saying it is because of the women directly that he has done this, but indirectly yes. Note that force is never an option for the man to bring about his rights. That is just one point made, not strong but unfortunately common. But we can't forget that the shariah is a balance in everything, in physical and metaphysical, in emotional needs just as bodily needs. An emphasis in the shariah for men is providing for the material needs of his wife and children, he has to bring in income, he has to make sure they are are fed, clothed, have a good life, and maintain his wife at her rightful standard, so if they are rich he has to spend more on her than a poor man on his wife. He is legally obligated I believe to do this, you can check me up on this. Now we can argue that men then become wage slaves, having to do all these things while the wife does not have to. So if the shariah is focusing on this aspect for a man, is it right that it should also focus on providing material goods by the women? No, because this would not be a balance in roles and relations that the shariah asks for, one whole side to life would be missing, so then it becomes incumbent that the other side to life, yes that of sex and emotional well-being is focused on by primarily women. If both counterparts to the same agenda do their duties and obligations, then all needs are met, and a balanced and happy life can ensue. Also, how many women out of spite would refuse their husbands advances if he is providing for her, the children, and working hard doing so? My shaykh said, the shariah is all about for men sucking up and just being a man, and if you are men then your women will naturally be women. And Allah Knows best.
Anyway I'm just trying to say don't look at this one particular issue without looking at all the aspects. The shariah is only best when it is applied in a complete system.
