Sheikh Monk is Getting Married, Advice maybe Needed

[Monk-of-Mogadishu]

Let's first get this out of the way; I don't trust women, there is not a single trait of yours that I admire, and at the end of the day I find it extremely difficult to genuinely respect a woman. It was standard procedure for me to say that, so don't dwell on it.

To the point - I may be getting married soon, to no one in particular. I realized recently that I have no interest in the dating game so the idea of filling my "emotional" gaps or filling women's gaps ( ) through a series of temporary "relationships" doesn't f-king interest me. I'm a simple guy, and I like things to be simple, its obvious in everything I do. All I want for the rest of my life is to live on my farm back home and look after my Bantu/Biimaal/Eelaay community in peace.

That being said, I've ruled myself out of the pointless dating game and I know how I want to live my life and have planned accordingly to fulfill it. My situation is pretty much complete right now aside from being perpetually broke, oh and also not having a single major possession (no house, no car, broken laptop, etc), although its more of a lifestyle choice and something I can change quite quickly and easily (but choose not to at the moment ). My family is comfortably financially secure, I'm in a position to make a solid living without sacrificing my time or mental health, and I have a high sperm count + great looks.

I'm not gonna go up to any girl and try to "get to know her" like some f-king MTV chump. I want a super old-school marriage. I want my parents to scope out a hottie and ask her parents for her hand, no questions asked, and I want her delivered. Or better yet I'll run through the family albums and pick the bride of my choice, then have my folks do the bidding for me. Either way, ideally I'd like to marry someone I know almost nothing about, and build from there. Every guy wifeys his longtime "girl" or some shit along those lines, but that is whack and quite gay in my view. Also, if this is to happen if after I'm 23, I'd prefer the girl to be 21 or under.

I guess that's it. I'm currently actively seeking to get married, and the more I think about it the more serious I get. For reference sake, I'm 21 years of age. A few years ago I would laugh at the idea of getting married before 30 but now I can't imagine getting married after 24. I would like to get married at a young age, hopefully next year or the year after, and to grow with my wife (fuck it feels gay to say that )

I seek your womanly advice on these important matters.

[PrinceDaadi]

Shukaansi aka dating is headache and waste of time. wife delivery is the simple way to go.

[gedo_gurl]

Eeewww. I can already see your marriage...shit sex, shit cooking, ugly, insecure couple. There is no space to give you advice, you know what you want and apparently how to get it. Good luck sir, and good luck to her in particular.

Guys please dont make out we have 'wife deliveries' in our culture. I have never known a man in my family to be even allowed to talk on the phone about marriage without him going through a serious background check. Only poor or dysfunctional families 'give' away their daughters to every ciyaal suuq who decides he is bored of dating. I wonder if he had an STD test when he was getting him sperm counted.

[Monk-of-Mogadishu]

Gedogurl, I much prefer my shitty marital companionship to your involuntary loneliness. Thanks.

[gedo_gurl]

No offense but marriage is the easiest thing in the world, especially your way. I could be married by next week if I ask people in my family. I'm just not desperate to marry any person my family can trick/persuade/sasab into marrying me (thats what your story says btw). This is probably the only way you can get a pretty girl to look at you. Dating game was probably only bringing in girls in you league...thats a great strategy for an upgrade and I hope it works out

[Monk-of-Mogadishu]

You should really step up your mind games, aren't you a bit too old to be throwing around badly-disguised insults?

Like I said, I'm a simple ass person. If I could have food in front of me and skip the cooking, I would. If I could have my income at once and skip the working, I would. And if I could have my wife and skip the childish shit in between, I would.

I want someone I can bang, who will clean the house and cook for me, and carry my children. That's it. I don't care for her education, "personality" or any other BS. I know that bothers you on a disturbing level, but those are my preferences.

If finding one's lifelong companion in a modest fashion is 'desperation' to you, so be it. If your idea of finding a spouse is dating and fingerbanging in a movie theater or a pair of grown ass people flirting over the phone like teenagers or vetting for marriage every single person of the opposite sex who interacts with you. No thanks.

I simply don't think that spending months or years with someone doing pointless shit and trying to make a marriage out of it, is the way to go. That being said, any woman who enters any kind of relationship with a man without the absolute guarantee or intention of marriage after a short period, is not worth the time.

[gedo_gurl]

LOL @ 'arent you a bit old'...there is very little between us in age walaalo.

I want someone I can bang, who will clean the house and cook for me, and carry my children. That's it. I don't care for her education, "personality" or any other BS. I know that bothers you on a disturbing level, but those are my preferences.

all the [power to you. It does not disturb me one bit, thats your life and I am not the one coming into it, why would that bother me at all.

I personally do not finger fuck in cinemas (aqas caleyk!) its actually because you're the type that used to which bothers me...and now you are getting married to some poor unsuspecting girl. The only problem I have is with guys who did nasty shit, dont even like women and would be unsuitable in any other setting...getting married ninja style. I actually just feel sorry for the girl, and all I said was I hope you got tested.

[Murax]

Paidmonk,


Hate to break it to You but if You're talking about marrying in N Ameirca only ugly or should I say not so attractive girls would accept a proposal like that. They'll think You lack confidence in not being able to approach them directly but go through their Parents. The pretty girls wanna be chased and wooed. Unless You're talking about marrying overseas, which in that case Your method will work. But even then You don't know if she is marrying You for Your sharci and will jump ship as soon as she lands. I've seen this happen a few times.

[BlackVelvet]

This guy is disturbed and disturbing but he is funny.

You've written about your problem and mapped out a solution, like GG said, there's nothing left to add other than of course may the Lord have mercy on any woman who marries you and on any children that have to have you for a father.

[grandpakhalif]

Monk I support your method of marriage, simple and the way of old.

[KingMJ]

Monk is one funny guy

I wonder if his wife will think he hates her since he won't admire or even respect her lool. But nonetheless best i.e. most entertaining thread I have read in a long time

[Monk-of-Mogadishu]

Thanks GK, I knew you would agree.

Murax, I think you bought way too much into what these "21st" century girls want you to think. Any woman who wants to be "chased" can go fuck herself, I don't do that shit, I simply don't have time for it and I have too much logic and dignity to take part in that stuff. Do guys get played? Yes. But they're usually older men who lack confidence and throw themselves at women. I'm handsome as fuck and embody the definition of swagger, no Somali girl would turn me down and none ever have, I think it'll stay that way. In any case, if you think I'm going after these latte-sipping pseudo-medical majors who hang out at the university patio, nooooo my friend. The girls I've got in mind are in the family network, a bit younger than me, and they are either qaxootis or they live overseas. I also strongly disagree with you that attractive girls are a headache - its only attractive skanks who do that, but 99% of the time its some ugly skeezer with an inflated ego; personally the prettiest Somali girls I've seen were extremely shy and modest. I think you should go and redo your survey because I've had much more favorable experiences. I think you overthink this too much, things are much simpler; I'm a solid looking 21 y/old bull, I can't think of any reason why any non-whore would reject me - I'm of the belief that your experiences with Somali women were with the trashiest demographic, I've seen radically different results.

[1_londoner]

I'm handsome as fuck and embody the definition of swagger, no Somali girl would turn me down and none ever have,

LOL!

Proof please. A pic will do.

[greenday]

Monk the girl might think your a catch but you think it will last when she finds out the real you? who would like to be a sex toy that cooks

[Avicenna]

@Monk. You sound like you're either just trolling or dead set on the type of future spouse whom you believe will bring you matrimonial bliss.

What is the advice you seek? I don't think I understood your question.

Btw - don't you have a mother and sisters? Were do you come off with these scatological misogynist views? Most of these women whom you hold in such contempt are probably not even aware of your existence. Why waste energy on such views? Besides, don't you want your children to have a healthy relationship with their parents and to grow up in a secure home where their parents share mutual love & respect? For your future daughter to grow up to be a confident, young lady who had a good father? How do you plan on achieving any of this if you proudly proclaim such demeaning things about women?