When a Pro-posal is a No-posal.
There comes a point in our lives where it’s time to look at proposals, and then comes the time to actually accept proposals. But where do you draw the line? Where do you say no? How do you know you’re supposed to say no? When you find that your parents are swooning over the guy of their dreams, but he’s nothing close to someone you would even consider spending the rest of your WHOLE entire life with. Here’s a list I came up with, to reevaluate a proposal that is in all actuality- a “no-posal”
1. He spends the entire time talking about himself- You could write a book about his life, including the climax and quite possibly even the conclusion because he becomes so predictable.
2. He rejects the coffee and tea- He knows no proper etiquette and insults coffee and tea when offered to him, rather than just take the cup and pretend to sip from it.
3. He’s given the opportunity to speak to you on the phone a couple of times, and instead becomes super clingy- If he hasn’t heard from you for days, he begins to freak out. He texts you multiple times when one text has not been responded to. He calls you to make sure you’re alive. He leaves you gasping for air because he’s so clingy, you just cannot breathe.
4. His appearance is completely unacceptable to you.- Acceptable is fine, you can change acceptable and turn it into amazing. However, when something is unacceptable, then it’s kinda hard to change it. If you feel as though you cannot wake up to his face every morning without heading to the nearest trash can for stomach support, then don’t waste your time or his. In Islam, you have to be able to wake up to him and accept him. If you can’t do that, then there’s no way you can make it happen.
5. He has more girls than guys on his facebook, and half of them don’t even speak the same language he does.- This is when you know you’ve got a keeper. Joking. When he’s following multiple fan pages of girls who have less clothes on than a Rainbow Mannequin, then step away and keep your sanity. If his friends list is of the same manner, then it’s best to not tamper with something that might drive you crazy and leave you constantly upset.
6. He warns you that he’s always going to be busy, and you’re going to have to deal with it- It takes a second to send a text message, and a minute to make a phone call. There are 24 hours in a day, you do the math. If he claims he’s too busy for you, yet he’s proposing, then chances are he has no earthly clue what he’s doing. You make time, because that person means that much to you. And if you can’t make time, then you shouldn’t be able to have that special person.
7. He curses in front of you- If you barely know this guy, and he has the audacity to curse in your presence, then that’s just a hint of what he’s like on a daily basis. If he finds it okay to say these words in front of you, then this might just be God’s way of showing you why he’s not the one. A guy who respects a girl knows not to curse in front of her. The same goes for ladies, a girl who shows respect for a guy knows better than to curse in his presence.
8. He spends the majority of his day playing video games, when he begins to taste his body odor…he showers.- A guy who doesn’t have his priorities straightened out, isn’t someone you would like to commit to. There has to be a medium for everything, everything should have its limits. If you feel as though he’s scattered all over the place, then there’s a huge chance that your engagement and marriage will be scattered all over the place. Scattered communication doesn’t sound too appealing, now does it?
9. He relies on his mom for everything, including emotional support- It’s beautiful when a guy loves and respects his mom, but when he’s 27 and leaning on his mom for everything (including having her change his Depends for him) then he’s not going to be an easy one to be married to. This might also cause conflict in your marriage later on, because he’s so dependent on his mother for support. Some mother-in-laws are truly a blessing to have, but it’s not the same when you’re basically married to them. That’s when the blessing fades away.
10. He makes you feel bad about yourself, in order to make himself look amazing- You want your husband to be your equal. When you’re getting to know him, and you realize he’s bringing the worst of your emotions out, it might be time to reconsider. You want someone who will bring out your best qualities, and make you want to be a better person. If that’s not happening, and you’re going to sleep feeling gloomy, you might be looking at Mr. Wrong, rather than Mr. Right."
Great advice I found from a Muslim therapist.
abaayo a marriage isnt made or broken on the husband cussing at strangers... youve got more important criteria to get answers to.
