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Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

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ElfRuler
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Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby ElfRuler » Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:51 am

Ladies, and the few gentlemen that will make themselves feel at home, I have not encountered anyone from my parent's generation that has practiced some method of delaying or avoiding pregnancies that are close to each other (pregnant again in 6-12 months ). And that's even during times of economic hardship and major insecurities. I'm not entirely sure how much emphasis we as a community place on the health, recovery, and growth of both the mother and the new born baby.

So, I'm wondering how much effort will you put into trying to create distance between each pregnancy? It's recommended for a woman to wait 18-23 months to replenish all the nutrients she lost and breast feed the first child for close to two yrs before getting pregnant again.

There will always be some wonderful S'netters who will yell "Xaraam" in different ways, however, I do believe that Islam covers every subject and matter concerning humans, and breast feeding, pregnancy, and child spacing is no different.

So the information below is for those who think everything in Islam is black or white.




“Mothers shall suckle their children for two whole years; (that is) for those who wish to complete the suckling....(2:233)

In this context, Sheikh Ja'far At-Talhawi, a prominent Al-Azhar scholar, adds the following:

"There is nothing wrong if the spouses plan their family by having intervals between the births for the following several reasons:

(1) This enables the mother to have an adequate period for rest to recover and return her strength, and

(2) enables the child to complete the period of suckling for two years. It is well-known that frequent pregnancies without considering this spacing affect both the mother and the infant.


The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "…gheelah (pregnancy during the period of breastfeeding) overtakes the rider and throws him from the horse." (Reported by Abu Dawud, this means that the child who nurses from a pregnant mother will suffer from it in later life like a horseman who is thrown from his horse.)"

http://www.everymuslim.co.za/index.php/ ... th-spacing

The prophet (PBUH) said: "I was about to forbid Al-Gheelah (having intercourse with one's wife while she is breastfeeding), and then I remembered that the Romans and Persians did so, and it did not harm their children.” [Muslim]

Narrated Asma, daughter of Yazid Ibn as-Sakan: I heard the Apostle of Allaah (peace be upon him) as saying: 'Do not kill your children secretly, for the milk, with which a child is suckled while his mother is pregnant, overtakes the horseman and throws him from his horse.' This means that the child who nurses from a pregnant mother will suffer from it in later life like a horseman who is thrown from his horse

Imam Abu Sulaiman Al Khattabi explaining the hadith says, “The Prophet (pbuh) is indicating that when the husband has intercourse with his breastfeeding wife, which results in pregnancy, it reduces her milk, thus depriving the suckling child, as it is being nourished from that milk, hence weakening the suckling child”. (Ma’aalim Al Sunan of Imam Abu Sulaiman Al Khattabi)

Imam Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah writes, “The prohibition (of intercourse with the wife during a period of time, when she is breastfeeding a child) means either:

1) A recommendation and advice (not necessarily absolute haram prohibition)
2) A disliked (makruh) prohibition (not forbidden)

(See Tahdheeb of Imam Ibn Al Qayyim Al Jawziyyah on the Sharh of Sunan Abi Dawood)

http://www.mathabah.org/20110718588/gen ... gnant.html


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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby Adali » Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:05 am

I had no idea women even ovulated during the breast feeding period :S

ok answer me this, is contraception allowed to be used then ??? if not, how else are you going to prevent pregnancy.

btw: this is an interesting topic, why discriminate against would be fathers by posting this in the womens section, caku feminist.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby igotkatzngingersnapz » Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:18 am

Adali wrote:I had no idea women even ovulated during the breast feeding period :S

ok answer me this, is contraception allowed to be used then ??? if not, how else are you going to prevent pregnancy.

btw: this is an interesting topic, why discriminate against would be fathers by posting this in the womens section, caku feminist.


feminism dosnt descrimnate aganst fathers, nor dos postin in tha wmans sucction. this sucction exists 4 a reeson, n it is bein used. r men banned from here? no

yal jus wnt lettuce hav nice things :down:

Yo elf, family planin isan alien concept 2 tha third world, bt i think it shld b encuraged srsly. is in every1s intrest 2.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby XaliimoFarax » Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:48 am

Yay to family planning.
Nay to drugs.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby igotkatzngingersnapz » Wed Jan 09, 2013 6:32 am

XaliimoFarax wrote:Yay to family planning.
Nay to hard drugs.


Fixed :up:

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby Tuushi » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:46 am

There is no winner in a household with 3 kids all under 5.Esp.In a Somali one where the sperm donor to opt to escape the chaos that helped create.

Family planning should really be taught and encouraged.Not just to afford having way more kids than u can care for but to give the time enough time to atleast bond with her newborn before moving to the next one.

But ladies,whatever method of contraception u use,he is still part of the discussion.It is not just abt u.

If u do decide on the pill,research,research and more research and trials.Bearing all the side effects in mind.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby mcali » Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:11 am

10 boys and girls all 2 years apart would be :blessed:

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby PrinceDaadi » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:48 am

Maybe we are allergic to the word "family planning" but we need family planning because it is actually semi wajib under Islam, as ELF quoted there is an ayah saying kids should be breast fed for two yrs that means the time between the kids will be at least two and half yrs which is reasonable.


My uncle's wife got 13 and she is under 35, she is tired, the kids r tired her husband is frustrated, because of this unplanned parenthood everyone is a loser.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby Alphanumeric » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:58 am

Why make haram what's already halaal? Use contraception.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby salool » Wed Jan 09, 2013 12:01 pm

Naag ila jaar ihi ilmihi 4ad bay dhashay and the oldest is not even 4 yet, waxaasi waa waali. :mindblown:

Famliy planning is a must, every child deserve a time with his mother before onther one shows up.Hooyo daalan maxay bal caruurteda ku kordhin, dumarka soomalidu maskaxdooda kama shaqaysiyan naftoodna uma tudhaan. :down:

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby SummerRain » Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:36 pm

salool wrote:Naag ila jaar ihi ilmihi 4ad bay dhashay and the oldest is not even 4 yet, waxaasi waa waali. :mindblown:

Famliy planning is a must, every child deserve a time with his mother before onther one shows up.Hooyo daalan maxay bal caruurteda ku kordhin, dumarka soomalidu maskaxdooda kama shaqaysiyan naftoodna uma tudhaan. :down:


I can't even imagine...that is so wrong in so many levels!!!! Why put yourself and your kids through that!!!

ElfRuler wrote:Ladies, and the few gentlemen that will make themselves feel at home, I have not encountered anyone from my parent's generation that has practiced some method of delaying or avoiding pregnancies that are close to each other (pregnant again in 6-12 months ). And that's even during times of economic hardship and major insecurities. I'm not entirely sure how much emphasis we as a community place on the health, recovery, and growth of both the mother and the new born baby.

So, I'm wondering how much effort will you put into trying to create distance between each pregnancy? It's recommended for a woman to wait 18-23 months to replenish all the nutrients she lost and breast feed the first child for close to two yrs before getting pregnant again.


There will always be some wonderful S'netters who will yell "Xaraam" in different ways, however, I do believe that Islam covers every subject and matter concerning humans, and breast feeding, pregnancy, and child spacing is no different.

So the information below is for those who think everything in Islam is black or white.




“Mothers shall suckle their children for two whole years; (that is) for those who wish to complete the suckling....(2:233)

In this context, Sheikh Ja'far At-Talhawi, a prominent Al-Azhar scholar, adds the following:

"There is nothing wrong if the spouses plan their family by having intervals between the births for the following several reasons:

(1) This enables the mother to have an adequate period for rest to recover and return her strength, and

(2) enables the child to complete the period of suckling for two years. It is well-known that frequent pregnancies without considering this spacing affect both the mother and the infant.


The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "…gheelah (pregnancy during the period of breastfeeding) overtakes the rider and throws him from the horse." (Reported by Abu Dawud, this means that the child who nurses from a pregnant mother will suffer from it in later life like a horseman who is thrown from his horse.)"

http://www.everymuslim.co.za/index.php/ ... th-spacing

The prophet (PBUH) said: "I was about to forbid Al-Gheelah (having intercourse with one's wife while she is breastfeeding), and then I remembered that the Romans and Persians did so, and it did not harm their children.” [Muslim]

Narrated Asma, daughter of Yazid Ibn as-Sakan: I heard the Apostle of Allaah (peace be upon him) as saying: 'Do not kill your children secretly, for the milk, with which a child is suckled while his mother is pregnant, overtakes the horseman and throws him from his horse.' This means that the child who nurses from a pregnant mother will suffer from it in later life like a horseman who is thrown from his horse

Imam Abu Sulaiman Al Khattabi explaining the hadith says, “The Prophet (pbuh) is indicating that when the husband has intercourse with his breastfeeding wife, which results in pregnancy, it reduces her milk, thus depriving the suckling child, as it is being nourished from that milk, hence weakening the suckling child”. (Ma’aalim Al Sunan of Imam Abu Sulaiman Al Khattabi)

Imam Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah writes, “The prohibition (of intercourse with the wife during a period of time, when she is breastfeeding a child) means either:

1) A recommendation and advice (not necessarily absolute haram prohibition)
2) A disliked (makruh) prohibition (not forbidden)

(See Tahdheeb of Imam Ibn Al Qayyim Al Jawziyyah on the Sharh of Sunan Abi Dawood)

http://www.mathabah.org/20110718588/gen ... gnant.html



My parents told me that they planned all the pregnancies with all of us mostly because my father and mother were both busy with different things in their own life. I definitely appreciate the gap that my siblings and I have because it definitely made up closers and appreciate each other more. I just can't imagine having like 10 siblings...justtoo many needs that will go unattended.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby BlackVelvet » Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:19 pm

ElfRuler wrote:Imam Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah writes, “The prohibition (of intercourse with the wife during a period of time, when she is breastfeeding a child) means either:

1) A recommendation and advice (not necessarily absolute haram prohibition)
2) A disliked (makruh) prohibition (not forbidden)
(See Tahdheeb of Imam Ibn Al Qayyim Al Jawziyyah on the Sharh of Sunan Abi Dawood)


2yrs without getting jiggy with your wife/husband. If you get pregnant immediately after that that's 9 months of pregnancy and then another 2 years :lol: :lol: :lol:


In this relationship you make 2yr appointments, see you in 2yrs mate :lol: :lol:


Okay jokes aside, family planning is a good thing, taking pills not so good.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby ElfRuler » Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:17 pm

Adali

Some women do, and some don't. Hopefully, someone with more knowledge on that department could clarify the matter much better.

From what I understand, methods of contraception are permitted as long as they are not permanent (hysterectomy or vasectomy).

The woman's section is open for both genders. However, I wanted to avoid the childish behavior of some of those that reside in the General section, and the mods would have moved this thread to the Woman's section either ways

Tuushi wrote:There is no winner in a household with 3 kids all under 5.Esp.In a Somali one where the sperm donor to opt to escape the chaos that helped create.

Family planning should really be taught and encouraged.Not just to afford having way more kids than u can care for but to give the time enough time to atleast bond with her newborn before moving to the next one.

But ladies,whatever method of contraception u use,he is still part of the discussion.It is not just abt u.

If u do decide on the pill,research,research and more research and trials.Bearing all the side effects in mind.
.

I agree, back to back pregnancies are neither good for the mother, child, or the whole family as a unit. As a society, quantity of children is valued (so and so has 6 boys), and the quality of their children and how they were raised is usually undervalued. A man could easily walk out of his family, or contribute whenever he wants, and how little/much he wants. The mother/wife does not have the option of leaving her kids as easily, and has to put her foot down when it comes to planned parenthood.

The pills have some side-effects, sometimes serious and long-term. I think most married couples have access to a doctor, and are well aware of the options they have available, but lack the commitment to decided on a safe and reasonable contraceptive method and stick to it.

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby ElfRuler » Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:30 pm

PrinceDaadi wrote:Maybe we are allergic to the word "family planning" but we need family planning because it is actually semi wajib under Islam, as ELF quoted there is an ayah saying kids should be breast fed for two yrs that means the time between the kids will be at least two and half yrs which is reasonable.


My uncle's wife got 13 and she is under 35, she is tired, the kids r tired her husband is frustrated, because of this unplanned parenthood everyone is a loser.


I knew of one woman who had 14 kids. A warrior! Some women want to have a huge family, and don't give much consideration to planned parenthood. When it comes to child birth, there isn't enough conducted to know how many children the avg Somali woman wants in comparison with the Somali man. If such information was available, then we could at least see if the women are also in the driving seat or not. Our maternal/child mortality rate is unfortunately too high to be ignored. But, Somalia is one of the few countries where women have an avg of 7 children.

Image

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Re: Planned (Unplanned) Parenthood

Postby Adali » Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:37 pm

BlackVelvet wrote:
ElfRuler wrote:Imam Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah writes, “The prohibition (of intercourse with the wife during a period of time, when she is breastfeeding a child) means either:

1) A recommendation and advice (not necessarily absolute haram prohibition)
2) A disliked (makruh) prohibition (not forbidden)
(See Tahdheeb of Imam Ibn Al Qayyim Al Jawziyyah on the Sharh of Sunan Abi Dawood)


2yrs without getting jiggy with your wife/husband. If you get pregnant immediately after that that's 9 months of pregnancy and then another 2 years :lol: :lol: :lol:


In this relationship you make 2yr appointments, see you in 2yrs mate :lol: :lol:


Okay jokes aside, family planning is a good thing, taking pills not so good.


that shit doesn't work for me, I see myself having sex twice a day for most of the week, after duhr bang bang 10 minutes, then power nap and I am good, then again after Magrib. but I don't want to have kids right after each other, I want spacing at least 2-3 years.


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