Dumarka-Sexual desires in a marriage

[AyeeyoH]

Sheekada waxaa lagu soo gabagabeeyay micropenis miyaa

Viv, dadkan meshan wali guriyo may yeelan.Realty is diffrent and i doubt any somali woman would dare to even say to her husband " waad iska seexatay xalay adow i raaliy galin" it takes years before a wife can say those words.Sex is linked with shame and if A woman demands her right most men think inay tahay naag suuqa so martey.Sidaas daraaded bay naagaha badankooda iska dulqaatan siiba haday caruur ninka oo leedahy.

Hada dadka waqtigan jooga waxa bila micne ah bay isku furaan yaaba sheekoyenka isla gaareyba.

[LeJusticier]

Subhaana'Allah, waar dadkani waa imtixaan. Why can't she just say ninkan isma fahmayno, as in we're totally incompatible. When the elders ask for details she can say we never get along and are always fighting because of serious personality differences and that it's making u miserable. Why in the world would u expose the inadequacy of ur husbands sexual performance to others? Telling ur husband is already bad enough and will severely bruise his ego and self-worth, but to on top of that tell the tolka and then have it spread around town, that's borderline socio-pathic. He'll be seen as nin nus ah by everyone and he can forget about getting another wife from that city or country or from anyone who he has mutual acquaintances with.

What is a marriage if we're not even decent enough to hide our secrets? How about if the husband wanted a divorce cuz ur P****y constantly smells like fish, and u couldn't fix it. Would u want him to tell truth to ppl or that he just makes up something else to hide ur ceeb? Somalis have problems with empathy wallahi.

Why are you some emotional wreck all the time?

Are you unable to discuss a topic without feeling some type of way?

A woman can't just flat out lie and say it's because of so and so because raga tolka want straight details. A woman can't ask for a divorce just because she feels like it, you have to have solid grounds.

You're a degenerate millennial, so you think a strongly worded moral position is a display of unhinged emotions. You're used to the 'tolerance' and 'acceptance' of morally bankrupt opinions and the other relativist bullshit your post-modern and leftist professors feed you. Well i'm a man who is guided by tradition and a moral compass, so fuck off with your shaming tactics.

And yes, a woman can lie and find other excuses, if mine wasn't a good one, that don't involve destroying the mans life.

Well said bro.

[InaSamaale]

I know the word raaliyo is a gendered term obviously but I used it deliberately in this context to show that some men also sacrifice some of their needs/wants for their wives. I don't think anyone in the marriage should get the short end of the stick. I believe in traditional gender roles, strong nuclear and extended families guided by strong and loving patriarchs. That's my template for family life. So these examples of Somali dead beat dads and all that, of course I'd never condone such despicable behaviour on the part of Somali men. Having a good, strong and loving family requires both the husband and wife, and even the children once they reach a certain age, to put their needs aside if those needs conflict with the needs of the family. Simple as that.

You say you don't condone it but you simultaneously cling onto the very same cultural attitudes, that enable men, a complete direliction of their duties & a subsequent lack of accountability. Until you disregard them completely, you're part of the problem.

[lifeisbloodyhard]

In before Salool!



That is why it is better to marry a virgin , she does not know any better .

Or marry a woman who has not been subjected to circumcision because many women do not orgasm from penetrative sex and respond more favourably to clitoral stimulation.

Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse.

This bears repeating: Only one-quarter of women reliably experience orgasm during intercourse-no matter how long it lasts, no matter what size the man's penis, and no matter how the woman feels about the man or the relationship.

This statistic comes not from just one study, but from a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her fascinating book The Case of the Female Orgasm (Harvard University Press).

Rounding things out: About half of women sometimes have orgasms during intercourse. About 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms during intercourse. And about 5 percent never have orgasms, period.

In other words, intercourse is not the key to most women's sexual satisfaction.

Now I'm not knocking intercourse. It's central to reproductive sex. If it's well lubricated and men don't plunge in before women feel ready, it can be great fun. And it makes many lovers feel deeply connected. But contrary to what many men and women believe-and see endlessly in porn-intercourse is not the essence of lovemaking.

This statistic has several important implications:

* It's perfectly normal for women not to have orgasms during intercourse. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. They don't get it during intercourse because the clitoris is located outside the vagina and a few inches above it under the top junction of the vaginal lips. Intercourse simply does not provide enough direct clitoral stimulation to allow most women to become aroused enough to have orgasms. "Intercourse is okay," says New York City sex educator Betty Dodson, Ph.D. "But I much prefer a talented tongue on my clitoris."

* Penis size doesn't matter to most women's sexual satisfaction. If only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse, then for most women, penis size doesn't matter. The fact is, any size penis can provide great pleasure to the man it's attached to. But they key to most women's erotic pleasure comes not from the penis and intercourse, but from direct clitoral stimulation, using the fingers, palm, tongue, or sex toys.

* Lasting a long time during intercourse may not matter as much as many (most?) men think it does. Why do men want to last all night? In part because they believe it's more pleasurable for women. Many women do, indeed, enjoy extended intercourse, whether or not they experience orgasm. But only one-quarter are consistently orgasmic during it no matter how long the man lasts. (For men who want to learn better ejaculatory control, a chapter in my book, Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secrets of Whole-Body Sensuality, teaches it.)

* Finally, because so few women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse, it's fine to have sex without intercourse. This is especially true for couples over 40. With age, men's erection capacity declines, and menopausal changes often make intercourse uncomfortable for women, even with a lubricant. Many older couples decide they prefer sex without intercourse. Younger lovers might also consider this erotic alternative.

According to the Sharia, a woman can request a divorce if her sexual needs are not being attended to.

I agree that most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm but there is also a spot inside the vagina -which if stimulated - can lead to an orgasm. This spot can be found on the top wall at the back. It's soft and spongy . A woman can find it easily if she puts her fingers in her vagina and feels around for it. I don't know if it's the G spot or an extension of the clitorus or what. The problem is how does a woman get it stimulated during sex so positions etc.

Women should get to know their bodies before marriage so they know what they like and what they don't. Don't bring yourself to orgasm and it won't be haram.

[Vivacious]

Sheekada waxaa lagu soo gabagabeeyay micropenis miyaa

Viv, dadkan meshan wali guriyo may yeelan.Realty is diffrent and i doubt any somali woman would dare to even say to her husband " waad iska seexatay xalay adow i raaliy galin" it takes years before a wife can say those words.Sex is linked with shame and if A woman demands her right most men think inay tahay naag suuqa so martey.Sidaas daraaded bay naagaha badankooda iska dulqaatan siiba haday caruur ninka oo leedahy.

Hada dadka waqtigan jooga waxa bila micne ah bay isku furaan yaaba sheekoyenka isla gaareyba.

Hada dhaqankii iyo xishoodkii waa laga tagay.
So many so excuses oo lagu kala tagi karo ayaa jira. I don't like the idea "ninkaan sariirta wuu igu qancin waayay so waan ka ag dhaqaaqaa"

[lifeisbloodyhard]

Sheekada waxaa lagu soo gabagabeeyay micropenis miyaa

Viv, dadkan meshan wali guriyo may yeelan.Realty is diffrent and i doubt any somali woman would dare to even say to her husband " waad iska seexatay xalay adow i raaliy galin" it takes years before a wife can say those words.Sex is linked with shame and if A woman demands her right most men think inay tahay naag suuqa so martey.Sidaas daraaded bay naagaha badankooda iska dulqaatan siiba haday caruur ninka oo leedahy.

Hada dadka waqtigan jooga waxa bila micne ah bay isku furaan yaaba sheekoyenka isla gaareyba.

This shouldn't be a problem if they are both upfront about their sexual histories prior to marriage. I am/ not a virgin is sufficient.

[AyeeyoH]

Life, you're not obligated to tell him about ur past and nither do he.No one should know about ur sins.


Viv, dhaqan xumo maaha hadaad xaqiiqada mesha taala aad sheegtid.Gabadh aan aqaan waxa ku dhacday iyada oo aroos oo ninka ay isku cusub yehiin.Labo bilood marku qabay bu makhsin kale iska seexday ninki.Gabadhi dhowr bilood marku taaban waayey oo ninki sabab oo sheegi waayey bay reerkoodi arinki oo sheegtay.

Ragi markay ninki waydiyen maxaad inanta isku makhsin ula seexan wayday,wuxu ugu jawaabey im not attracted to her kulaha oo gabadha niyad uma hayo...( i dont want mention the K word here). Wuxu yedhi 3da biloodna waxaan isaga aamusna si aan ugu sheego ayaan garan waayey.Mu rabin inanta inu niyada ka jabiyo.

Marka marmarka qaar waad qasbantahay inaad runta sheegtid.But but someone will get hurt thays for sure.

[lifeisbloodyhard]

Life, you're not obligated to tell him about ur past and nither do he.No one should know about ur sins.


Viv, dhaqan xumo maaha hadaad xaqiiqada mesha taala aad sheegtid.Gabadh aan aqaan waxa ku dhacday iyada oo aroos oo ninka ay isku cusub yehiin.Labo bilood marku qabay bu makhsin kale iska seexday ninki.Gabadhi dhowr bilood marku taaban waayey oo ninki sabab oo sheegi waayey bay reerkoodi arinki oo sheegtay.

Ragi markay ninki waydiyen maxaad inanta isku makhsin ula seexan wayday,wuxu ugu jawaabey im not attracted to her kulaha oo gabadha niyad uma hayo...( i dont want mention the K word here). Wuxu yedhi 3da biloodna waxaan isaga aamusna si aan ugu sheego ayaan garan waayey.Mu rabin inanta inu niyada ka jabiyo.

Marka marmarka qaar waad qasbantahay inaad runta sheegtid.But but someone will get hurt thays for sure.

Hmmmmm.

[Inaayah]

Life, you're not obligated to tell him about ur past and nither do he.No one should know about ur sins.


Viv, dhaqan xumo maaha hadaad xaqiiqada mesha taala aad sheegtid.Gabadh aan aqaan waxa ku dhacday iyada oo aroos oo ninka ay isku cusub yehiin.Labo bilood marku qabay bu makhsin kale iska seexday ninki.Gabadhi dhowr bilood marku taaban waayey oo ninki sabab oo sheegi waayey bay reerkoodi arinki oo sheegtay.

Ragi markay ninki waydiyen maxaad inanta isku makhsin ula seexan wayday,wuxu ugu jawaabey im not attracted to her kulaha oo gabadha niyad uma hayo...( i dont want mention the K word here). Wuxu yedhi 3da biloodna waxaan isaga aamusna si aan ugu sheego ayaan garan waayey.Mu rabin inanta inu niyada ka jabiyo.

Marka marmarka qaar waad qasbantahay inaad runta sheegtid.But but someone will get hurt thays for sure.

I'm such a ciyaal suuq I don't know why I'm laughing. Poor girl, but I agree sometimes the truth is inevitable.

[waayeel101]

Dumarki hore
xalimo: aw-faraxow anigu wan seexanaya e' markad dhamaysato marada ii hagaji.
aw-farax: haye iska si seexo.

Dumarka imika
xalimo: faraxow 10 daqiqo ee hore wa inad .... samaysa, 10 ku xiga sidii kale 30 u danbeyana aniga igu daa.

[Timiro1999]

If the woman was not married before, how does she know that her husband is not satisfying her unless she has been fooling around with so many guys before she got married? Unless the guy has an illness, how does she know that she is not been satisfied? Audubillaah, these people are talking about the unthinkable.

Waaryaa gabadha iyadoo aan hore guur usoo marin ayay hadana kala garan kartaa markay xaajiga arimihiisa ku ganacday iyo in kale.
Gabadhu saw qof caqli leh maaha way kala garanaysa marka arintu noqoto "ilis hadana gaagaxay" iyo markay arintu isku duba dhacdo.
Hadii uu odaygu hawsha ka soo bixi waayo dee arintu waa waar naga baydh hana qoynine.
Ragii hore ee somalidu way nasiib badnaayen waayo dumarkaa arimahan ka xishoon jirey iyagoo hadana xaq u leh iska badaw lknse imika Xaliimooyinku xaquuqdoda way yaqaann kamana xishoonayaan inay doontan.
Walee ragii war baa u yaala

[gegiroor]

If the woman was not married before, how does she know that her husband is not satisfying her unless she has been fooling around with so many guys before she got married? Unless the guy has an illness, how does she know that she is not been satisfied? Audubillaah, these people are talking about the unthinkable.

Waaryaa gabadha iyadoo aan hore guur usoo marin ayay hadana kala garan kartaa markay xaajiga arimihiisa ku ganacday iyo in kale.
Gabadhu saw qof caqli leh maaha way kala garanaysa marka arintu noqoto "ilis hadana gaagaxay" iyo markay arintu isku duba dhacdo.
Hadii uu odaygu hawsha ka soo bixi waayo dee arintu waa waar naga baydh hana qoynine.
Ragii hore ee somalidu way nasiib badnaayen waayo dumarkaa arimahan ka xishoon jirey iyagoo hadana xaq u leh iska badaw lknse imika Xaliimooyinku xaquuqdoda way yaqaann kamana xishoonayaan inay doontan.
Walee ragii war baa u yaala

Laakiin how does she know if she has not been penetrated before? What is her baseline that she is using in order to rate the performance of her current husband?

I think you're dancing around my question.

Besides, any man who is healthy can penetrate any woman and hit those sugar walls. So, any woman who thinks her current husband is not performing according to her satisfaction has been in the market and comparing him with her ex's. No question about it.

Of course, if the man has an illness is a different matter. And one of the main reasons that we've been forewarned to stay away from zina is to prevent for situations like these.

But unmarried girls contemplating this already? There is more to the story that meets the eye

[Inaayah]

Gegiroor- Saqajaan ba tahay, Isla xishood.

[lifeisbloodyhard]

If the woman was not married before, how does she know that her husband is not satisfying her unless she has been fooling around with so many guys before she got married? Unless the guy has an illness, how does she know that she is not been satisfied? Audubillaah, these people are talking about the unthinkable.

Waaryaa gabadha iyadoo aan hore guur usoo marin ayay hadana kala garan kartaa markay xaajiga arimihiisa ku ganacday iyo in kale.
Gabadhu saw qof caqli leh maaha way kala garanaysa marka arintu noqoto "ilis hadana gaagaxay" iyo markay arintu isku duba dhacdo.
Hadii uu odaygu hawsha ka soo bixi waayo dee arintu waa waar naga baydh hana qoynine.
Ragii hore ee somalidu way nasiib badnaayen waayo dumarkaa arimahan ka xishoon jirey iyagoo hadana xaq u leh iska badaw lknse imika Xaliimooyinku xaquuqdoda way yaqaann kamana xishoonayaan inay doontan.
Walee ragii war baa u yaala

Laakiin how does she know if she has not been penetrated before? What is her baseline that she is using in order to rate the performance of her current husband?

I think you're dancing around my question.

Besides, any man who is healthy can penetrate any woman and hit those sugar walls. So, any woman who thinks her current husband is not performing according to her satisfaction has been in the market and comparing him with her ex's. No question about it.

Of course, if the man has an illness is a different matter. And one of the main reasons that we've been forewarned to stay away from zina is to prevent for situations like these.

But unmarried girls contemplating this already? There is more to the story that meets the eye

You're a muppet. Every woman knows what feels good and what doesn't. No need for a baseline.

[gegiroor]

Truth hurts. I raised valid questions and people should address it, instead of resorting to personal attacks.

A virgin woman before marriage would never question her husband as long as he himself is not involved in zina. If there is an illness involved, it is a different matter. But Muslima with dignity would never throw her husband under the bus because he's ill and not performing.

But unmarried Muslim girls contemplating dropping their husbands if he is not good on bed even before they get married???

It seems some of the girls' minds and morals have been destroyed by the prevailing western culture

Somalis have a saying for such women: "Taas hogaankaa u go'ay"