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Prof. Mahamud Togane

Daily chitchat on Somali politics.

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Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Amilla » Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:44 pm

I am pretty sure that majority of you have read his poems but I was wondering what you think of him.
the amount of self-hatered is flabbergasting to me. :shock:


By Prof. Mohamud Togane (togane@progression.net)

Every time I type the word Hawiye, my computer talks back to me, telling me:

"I have never heard of such an animal.

What the hell is Hawiye?

Is that flesh, fish or fowl?

Sir, you must be confused; you must mean Hawaii!!!"

I would laugh and say to myself:

You are right; I wish I have never heard of Hawiye Naa-red either! All in all, I would rather be in Hawaii than with the Hawiye in their Hawiyeland where the Hawiye had shot dead my brother, Abdirahman Siad Togane; where again the Hawiye shot up my other brother Hassan Siad Togane twice riddling up his body with 18 bullet holes, leaving him for dead; where again the Hawiye almost shot me dead four time in 1992 in my futile effort at attempting to make peace between our Hawiye fool called Ali Mahdi who turned Somalia into a nuclear garbage dump and our bald bedlamite Hawiye Gar-diid-Illah-diid Ai-diid aptly dubbed General Wow by Somali wags.

That is why I had decided to vacation in Hawaii rather than with my own Hawiye in Hawiyeland;

that is why I had decided to spend the whole month of February on the island of Oahu in Hawaii

lolling on the beach and soaking up the sun until I became

as black as my grandfather

whose nickname was Dhuhulow:

as black as charcoal or coal black!

I am glad I had gone to Hawaii in search of fun under the sun and swim in the sea;

I am glad I had gone in a mad dash just to get away from cold clannish Canada,

Kipling’s “our Lady of the Snows” during the whole month of February,

the month of choice for suicides in Canada:

I testify that them cold dark winter February blues and blahs can get you down in the dumps

unless you have the faith and the courage of Albert Camus who bore witness thus:

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer”

to combat any bleak black despair in my lonesome bitter exile from my kingdom by the sea.

So I am glad I got away from everything cold and clannish and Canadian and cantankerous

for the whole month of suicide February!

So imaging the irony of a Somali

from the smiling blue skies of sunny Somalia

and a former Sheikh of the Indian Ocean

flying for 13 hours

from Montreal to Waikiki Honolulu

in search of the sun and the sound of the soothing surf of the Pacific!

Notice that I had written a Somali and not a Hawiye

because now not even a Hawiye is safe today in Mogadishu

where I was born and into which the Hawiye had now turned into a hell called ironically

"Hawiyah: [Arabic: the Abyss. The seventh division of Hell set aside for hypocrites: Hawiye and otherwise. According to The Glorious Koran (Sura 15: 40), Hell “hath seven gates; unto every gate a distinct company of them shall be assigned.” See under Hell in See Rev. E. Cobham Brewer. A Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. London: Cassell and Company, Ltd; no date of publication given.”]

Now wonder now our President Ina Yay and our Prime Minister Ina Ghedi

are skittish about setting foot in hellish Hawiyah Mogadishu.

Who can blame them?

Who wants to go willingly to a hell called Hawiyah?

That is why I decided to vacation in Hawaii

where every morning I would breakfast on guava juice and papaya without being harassed by my own fellow Hawiye

who are holding right now all of us Somalis as hostages in the hell called Hawiyah Mogadishu.

My Darod kith and kin go and vacation in their Darodland

where everything is dandy and honky-dory;

my Iidoar bosom buddies likewise go and vacation and chew jaat in peace

on that famous street called f-king Street in Hargayssa

where they feel fine and as content as a cow chewing its cud;

but to be a Hawiye nigger like me is to be like Hamlet without the fancy poesy;

but to be a Hawiye nigger like me is to be a nowhere nigger;

but to be a Hawiye nigger like me is to be a nobody with nowhere to go

where I can be somebody

like the Issaq in their Hargayssa or

like the Darod Majerten in their Bossasso, the Boston of East Africa ;

but to be a hopeless hapless Hutu Hawiye nigger like me is to be never at peace;

but to be a Hottentot Hawiye a nigger like me today is to be Kipling’s

“lesser breed without the law,… half child, half devil.”.

No wonder the Somali Hawiye poet, Sa-eed Gacamey, lamented:

Gabay waan ka haroo laabtu wey i hinganeysaaye

I have given up poesy because my heart aches

Hawo waan ka haray hirarna wey iga hor muuqdaane-e

I have given up ambitious efforts even though waves are about to overwhelm me

Hanti waan ka haray xoolahaan heysan jirey waaye

I have given up seeking wealth since I had lost all that I had once possessed

Hooy waan ka haray waxaan hurdaa meel habaas badane

I have given up home and hearth and sleep now in the very devil’s dust

Halgan waan ka haroo Hawiyaan hilib la sheegtaaye

I have given up being a contender for anything since I am a Hutu Hawiye

Hawl waan ka haray oo ma jiro ruux u heelani

I have given up the struggle since it is so pointless

Hiddo waan ka haroo ma jiro geed la hariyaaye

I have given up courting wisdom since wisdom has

no Hawiye tree under which to shelter

Hadaf waan ka haray sharafna waa laysku heystaaye

I have given up giving a damn since I am of the Hawiye

Who are now as contemptible as the horrible Hutu

Hunguri waan ka haroo meel xun buu kugu hagaayaaye

I have given up ambition & fame

That last infirmity of noble mind

lest they lead me to Evil

Hoggaan waan ka haray sida shacbiga loo hantuuliyaye

I have giving up on our leadership on account of the muzzled masses

Horseed waan ka haray been haddii heello loo tumaye

I have given up on our leadership since Fear & Smear are the order of the day.

Sa-eed Gacamey is not alone in his lamentation; not long ago, on this very website

I too sang plangently:

As we sail through

our Somali Seas of Sordidness

our Somali Slough of Despond

with battalions of sorrow

with our wounded Somali Spirit


with many a sigh

with no relief in sight
we can’t help but encounter
this pretty kettle of Somali fish
we can’t help but encounter
countless kinds of
foolish fish
that make us guffaw with laughter
to keep us from weeping all the time
like fish out of water.

One of the funniest and most clannish fishes we encounter is

The Barracuda fish

The barracuda fish are the most selfish fish

for they

always knock you upside the head

always knock you out of the way

always get in your way

always never go away

always are in your face

the Hutu Hawiye

are balayo barracuda baraculo fanculo fish

for Allah created the Hutu Hawiye

the maddest of all mankind

(O Hottentot Hutu Hawiye

whenever I hear our nasty name

I share in its shame).

It is not only Sa-eed Gacamey or truculent Togane or Ina Yay or Ina Ghedi

who now despises the lawless Hutu Hawiye and their mean and murderous city of Mogadishu

Into which they have turned now into a hell aptly named Hawiyah,

Sa-yid Muhammad Abdalla Hassan, had such a city like Hoag Hoggish Hawiyah Mogadishu in mind

when he in his cantata litany of the cursed and the contemptible cantillated:

A liar I despise
A miser I despise
And a greedy gut who gobbles up what is not halal I despise
A tobacco-chewer I despise

A compulsive coward I despise

And a flabby fat fool I despise

A gûn goon I despise

A fool tool that isn’t tame I despise

A white man’s minion I despise

A honky’s houseboy I despise

An unjust king I despise

A flag without an army I despise

And above all

A city without the rule of law I do most definitely despise.

[transcreated by Togane with an assist from Sa-eed Samatar]

Far from the maddening crowd of Mogadishu,

far from my Hawiyah clan,

swimming and snorkeling and basking

on the alien American Kailu and Hanauma Bay and Sunset and Turtle Bay Hilton beaches

of the Oahu Island in Hawaii,

as I feel and enjoy the rays of the bright sun

searing and sizzling my ebon skin,

I could not help but think of the beaches of Mogadishu

like the Lido, like the Secondo Lido, like Maanyo Xaar, like Moal Xaneed,

like Ghayl-Qaad, like Jaziira

where I, as a gamin, had almost drowned in my determined effort

to make myself into a worthy son of Neptune;

where I would dive deep


from Dafle’s camel boys from Las Anod

where I would dive deep


from the sun

and in the cool depths of the Indian Ocean

startle the flying eagle spotted stingrays;

That is when I broke into a solo singing to the Somali sun and to the soothing surf:

When the rolling surf
And the rising moon

And the swaying palms

And the high white bird

And the lazy fish

All speak of love

I cry in the night:

Somalia my second mother

Where are you, love?

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Amilla » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:02 pm

Civilized peoples of the world talk

tactics and strategies

ideas and ideologies,

principles and personalities

parties and platforms

philosophies and filibustering

prophesies and pontifications

in their political discourse,

but savages like us Somalis talk




the trash of tribalism

whenever we engage in

how we ought to govern ourselves.

In my last piece

posted in both Balcad and Banadir, (entitled,

The Phenomenon Called Al-hajji Mudane Muse Soodi

apparently I have stepped on Darod toes.

I did so deliberately.

I was running an experiment:

I wanted to see what would happen if I repeated
and aired publicly

some heinous Abgal trashy ideas

regarding the Darod

that the Abgal whisper behind closed secure doors

among the already converted and convinced bigots
and bores of the Abgal.

I did not have to wait long

before the Darod began

to shoot back

to fire back

from the lip

from the hip

from the hoof

from the roof

from the belt

below the belt

fast and furiously,

round after round

salvo after withering salvoes!

Another reason which compelled me

to commit the ugly unctuous and gratuitous gaffes
I had,


such strange & rich

graceless & strident & disharmonious notes

resonant of

redolent of

the vicious Darod-Hawiye civil war,

is that I got tired of my friends

chiding& teasing me all the time

about how I treat the Darod devils with kid gloves

while I constantly and mercilessly bash

the Hawiye and the Eedor dunces

in my oeuvre.

Apparently, I knew the right Darod buttons to

apparently, I treaded on some really still sore
tender Darod wounds.

The reactions,

the responses,

the retorts,

the ripostes

I had received

which I had evoked

which I had invoked

which I had provoked

which I had elicited

from the Darod are indeed very revealing.

The Darod black cat is out of the bag!

Now we all know what the Darod really think of us,
the Abgal.

Here is the lowdown on the Abgal from the Darod!

The following reverberating thunderclap

by one who styles himself as

“caaqil” and “Dr Nasir”

is typical of the shells & the missiles

that had burst upon my Abgal bald pate

from the Darod arsenal!:

mr togane

i would have given you an answer if you were
at least HABARGIDIR but the fact that you are
abgal, you are not more than a donkey and remember
if we want have a deal with Hawiye we will talk to
SA'AD only, after all you are their property why
should i bother wasting my time talking to donkey
while i can talk to it's master

the simple fact is that you are not cutt out to
rule, but to be ruled, you don't have the genetic
make up that it takes for one to lead, like it or
not that is the fact about the abgal and i am sure
you know it deep inside but you just wanna make
noises like the donkey which you share the same

cad haduu carada kaaga dhaco

amase ciidoobo

caqli nimuu kuwaynyahay macuno calafka qaarkiiye

maxaan caalahaa kala hadlaa caaqil baan ahaye.

What is this Darod Caaqil

this Darod Doctor

trying to teach us about my clan, the Abgal?

First and foremost,

that the donkey is the tribal totem of the Abgal;

that therefore, the Abgal are as stupid as the
donkeys that they rear.

Which reminds me of this story:

During the heat of the mother of all battles
between the Abgal and the Habar Gidir,

A Habar Gidir Moriyan

in a Mad-Max battlewagon

sidled up to an Abgal donkey driver

all the while addressing the donkey thus:

“Waryaa, Ali Mahdi, get out of Aideed’s way!”

The Habar Gidir qat-chomping crazy Il-jex kept on
haranguing the donkey.

“Waryaa, Ali Mahdi, get out of Aideed’s way!”


in exasperation,

the patient Abgal donkey driver declaimed:

“Please, don’t tire yourself,

you are talking to the wrong donkey:

this donkey is not Ali Mahdi;

this donkey is Aideed!

And Aideed is not only Gar-deed

(one who refuses and denies and is deaf to the
cries of Justice)

but also Ilaah-deed

(one who refuses and denies and is deaf to the
existence of Allah!)

The only thing this donkey Aideed hears and
respects is


whistling & whispering the dawn of his death!”

Four years later,

an Abgal death-rattling rude bullet booted Aideed

out of this world and

into the presence of Allah

who consigned Aideed to the place of honor in

in Jahannama,

that Aideed so diligently worked for,

that Aideed so richly deserved!

The other Somali civil war incident that this
Darod Caaqil,

that this Darod Doctor reminds me goes like this:

A Jarayr or

Muqshabayl or

Addoan or


who was busy

working on



the weapons of mass destruction

for Aideed and

for his Habar Kintir Moriyaan was asked:

“Hey, why are you aiding and abetting the Habar

to butcher the Abgal?

Don’t you know that you have more affinities with
the Abgal

than the nomadic mad Il-jex?”

The nigger-slave or

the Abd answered:

“You got to be crazy:

if Ali Mahdi and his Abgal donkeys become rulers,

who indeed shall be

ruled & used

& abused & misused

& manhandled & mismanaged!?”

Why this universal contempt for my clan, the

How did we, the Abgal, earn this universal Somali

How do the enemies of the Abgal justify their
contempt for the Abgal

How do they rationalize away their contempt for
the Abgal?

During the Darod MOD tyranny & terror of Somalia,

I’d often hear this catechism:

Question: How would you know that Jaale Siyaad

the Darod Fiend had finally overcome

clan favoritism and created equality in Somalia?

Answer: When we would see

an Isaaq volunteer guulwade (victory pioneer):

an earnest Issaaq supporter of the Darod MOD
tyranny & terror,

an Abgal ambassador and

an unemployed Marehan.

The reason that my clan, the Abgal, were held in
universal Somali contempt

was that


we believed the Darod

when they had solemnly sworn to us

that we were all Moslem brothers and Somalis.

That is why the Abgal

and the late

and the lamented

Siad Togane


“Cawada Jaw Abgal!”

Only tonight am I Abgal! And never again!

He deigned affiliate himself with the Abgal, his

only for one single night

under duress,

under the torture of the Italian fascists,

risking all,

risking life & limb

holding tenaciously unto death

the honor & the dignity of his identity as

a Somali!

What did that finally get him


a Darod dictatorship and

a Hutu Hawiye holocaust!

He was the only Somali

in a savage sea of deceiving Darods & their Hawiye

You see,

our enemies hold us Abgal in universal contempt


it is the silly habit of Somalis

to mistake Abgal goodness,

to mistake Abgal accommodating welcoming kindness

for weakness & stupidity.

Never again!

Now that we have

Nin Belaaya

( a man of disaster!

A bringer of disaster!

Al-hajji Mudane Musse Soodi Yellahow)

like every crazy Somali clan,

we, the Abgal,

are feared now,

are respected now

are courted ardently now

by the Il-jex

by the Jaaji!

Dear Darod Caaqil

Dear Darod Doctor Nasir

You had instructed us

that the tribal totem of my clan, the Abgal,

is the stupid Abgal donkey,

but you had forgotten to tell us

what the tribal totem of the Darod is;

pray let me tell you:

it is the hermaphrodite hyena!

For when the Darod is supine

in abject defeat,

she gives you

sweet flower!

sweet booty!

But when the Darod is ascendant

in triumph,

he clobbers you with his big prick!


To change the analogy:

the tribal totem of the Darod is the chameleon

which is capable of only

two ruses!

two disguises!


When the Darod is in abject defeat,

he sports a long rosary,

true ornament by which we know a holy Somali

pretending to be a divine deep in his devotion

(who has no use for this world!)

only to hide his naked villainy,

seeming a saint Sufi

when most he plays the Darod devil!


When the Darod is ascendant

in triumph,

he exposes his long Darod dong

ready and raring

to sink it

to bury it

to drown it

deep in every sassy saucy Somali seal cunt

five fathom full!

Now that the Darod know

what we, the Abgal, think of them

and vice versa,

I have no doubt

that this peculiar knowledge will lead

to understanding

to truth

to peace.

to bashbash

to barwaaqo

For there cannot be a lasting peace

without some harsh airing of the truth.

Let the healing begin!

I am done with bashing in the brain of the Darod!

For their forbearing indulgence

I thank all my Darod







Bearing always in mind

That Somali dictum

That whenever the Darod eat dung

The rest of the Somali nation will feast on feces!

And that, sadly, is what is happening right now!

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Dhaga Bacayl » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:31 pm

Who is he? Some kind of a warlord?

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Amilla » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:34 pm

he is not a warlord. he is a professor at some university in Canada. in my understanding he was prosecuated by his fellow hawiyes in the civil war that is why is he so bitter toward his own people.

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Siciid85 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:23 pm

This nigger is talented for sure.

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby Cumar-Labasuul » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:30 pm

How can he be a professor and a poet, when his 'poem' is like listening to some fadhi ku dirir. Also if he is a self-hating hawiye, then why did he praise the darood and badmouth the Isaaq; "chew qaat in f-king street" :down:

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Re: Prof. Mahamud Togane

Postby abdalla11 » Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:37 am

Cumar-Labasuul wrote:How can he be a professor and a poet, when his 'poem' is like listening to some fadhi ku dirir. Also if he is a self-hating hawiye, then why did he praise the darood and badmouth the Isaaq; "chew qaat in f-king street" :down:

He doesn't praise darood, he bashed them. He only loves one sub-clan of daarod, try to guess? :lol:


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