grandpakhalif,
I know of a very specific incident when an Isaaq family canceled a wedding in the middle of the aroos when they discovered that the bride was the daughter of Marehan general. Never has a Darod family refused marriage proposal to a Hawiye man in Somali history. This phenomena started after 91 and it is very understandable and I don't blame them. If I was chased out of my country and massacred, I wouldn't want the same people marrying my daughters

If this really happend although I don`t think it did cuz why would they go through the trouble of arranging a wedding and everything?
This is understandable they probably cancelled the wedding because of the fathers affiliation with the former government, him being a Marexaan General probably spooked something in their mind

It did happen man. It was something that was talked about for a while.
I mean, people have a bad feelings about what happened in the recent Somali history and it is understandable.
I have a very good Reer Jalaf friend who was a second nephew of Aideed. He was a graduate student and fell in love with a OG girl. He went through the entire normal formalities and was invited for dinner and such. They asked him his qabil and all, they were ok with him till when he mentioned that he was a nephew of Aideed. The kid was American raised and had not tangible understanding of the Somali social dynamics. Wallahi, without letting him finish his dinner, they told him to get out.
Can you blame the family? Of course, not. Some people might have lost family members in the war and their feelings are understandable.
In terms of inter-marriage, the level of inter-marriages between Hawiye and Darod is just so deep, it crumbles this pathetic idea that a Hawiye can't marry a Darod. I have never seen a Darod person that didn't have Hawiye relatives and vice versa. So, I don't know how this argument can be made.