Qaybtan waxaa loogu talagalay dadka wax ku qora luqada Soomaaliga. I don't really know where I'm going with this other than to get it off my chest. Here goes:
We first met in madrasah when I was around 11 and she was 13. I was that girl who was friendly with everybody... a little bit of a trouble maker but never anything serious. I was the peace maker amongst my friends and I really enjoyed madrasah wallaahi - we had so much fun. One day this new girl shows up (let's call her Halima). She had just come from Somalia. Everyone is giggling and making fun of her. My cousin was particularly mean calling her an orange tent cuz she wore the big dallad hijaab.
Anyway, I decided to befriend her. Halima was really funny and we quickly became close. I didn't want her to feel left out so whenever we were going somewhere I'd invite her, I told her about all the shops that sell nice hijabs, I'd introduced her to all of my friends (not that she needed me to... she was really charismatic) and soon they were all drawn to her. Halima told me how her dad never allows her to use the internet so I made an msn account for her and lent her my phone (you can tell this was years ago hehe). For a year we were the best of friends sharing everything from clothes to secrets.
And then suddenly we weren't. Till this day, I'm not sure why.
She made my life hell. She called me every horrible name (white trash and fat pig were the worst), threw my shoes in the bin, told everyone about my dad (he used to beat the crap out of me). Worst of all, no one would talk to me. She had turned my friends against me. She was VERY manipulative - even my cousin wouldn't speak to me either because she was convinced that I did something to Halima.
This was all too much for 11 year old me. I was proper miskiin...I had never argued with anyone or fought with anyone before so I really wasn't equipped to deal with her. I sought her out when she was alone to confront her - she told me that she hadn't even liked me and that she had been using me all along.
After that I didn't even bother with any of them anymore. I left the madrasah and learnt at home for a while. Then I started a different madrasah and guess who's there? Amina.
It started all over again. Girls and boys both would always whisper and snicker behind my back but when I came near they would all go quite. I had people I'd never met taunting me day in day out. This went on until I was 15. But I ignored them and carried on... made new friends too. As long as I didn't see her or her friends I was ok. But somehow they were everywhere. I went from confident happy-go-lucky to insecure, distrustful and sensitive. But I finished the Quran, left the madrasah and never saw her again. Until today.
In hindsight, I guess my 'friends' weren't real friends to begin with and she must have been really jealous or something. I realise now I was never fat, and if anything she looked like she was starving. Plus I don't get why I was so embarrassed by my skin colour when so many women bleach themselves to achieve what I have naturally.
Anyway when I saw her in town today, I swear my heart skipped a beat. I was suddenly transported back in time. She was near the shop door and I needed to leave but instead, I did a 180 and stalled around the make up section. I even kicked myself for not putting more effort in how I looked. What is wrong with me dear Lord? I'm a grown woman!
So yeah. That's all. Sorry for the long post. I don't know what else to do.
