Rape.
Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:12 pm
I was raped when i was 15 years old. I am now 17.
A result of this was huge sexual inhibitance, i have only just started coming out of my shell and loosening up a bit and have started to give handjobs again.
I have a very patient boyfriend who doesn't push, but lets me know that he wants head. I want to cater to this for him but i can't bring myself to do it. I have mixed feelings i hate penis, i am afraid of it (because of how it can be used) and i am disgusted by it but it's not HIS penis i feel like this about its the idea of it i think and i know he was not the person who did this to me but i cant seem to work through my psychological damage. I cannot afford therapy. i considered hypnotism but i can't afford that either do you think i should just force myself to do it and maybe itll be easier after that? i don't know what to do.
He recently told me that "normal" penetration is just not enough for him and he is unfulfilled i want to help him but how can i when i cant help myself? i don't want to do Anal because pain/discomfort is not something that i like to incorporate into sex due to my experiences. What do i do?
A result of this was huge sexual inhibitance, i have only just started coming out of my shell and loosening up a bit and have started to give handjobs again.
I have a very patient boyfriend who doesn't push, but lets me know that he wants head. I want to cater to this for him but i can't bring myself to do it. I have mixed feelings i hate penis, i am afraid of it (because of how it can be used) and i am disgusted by it but it's not HIS penis i feel like this about its the idea of it i think and i know he was not the person who did this to me but i cant seem to work through my psychological damage. I cannot afford therapy. i considered hypnotism but i can't afford that either do you think i should just force myself to do it and maybe itll be easier after that? i don't know what to do.
He recently told me that "normal" penetration is just not enough for him and he is unfulfilled i want to help him but how can i when i cant help myself? i don't want to do Anal because pain/discomfort is not something that i like to incorporate into sex due to my experiences. What do i do?
