Estarix wrote:
I agree that people are a product of their upbringing and surroundings. Now i dont think that most Somali women even hook up with these kind of reverts through their social environment, because most Somalis arent like that, and those that do fall into these predators tend to be pious and come from good famillies. I think its their lax attitude towards marriage and their overly favourable views towards reverts and as some said desperation to get these type of Muslims. Its as easy as giving the masjid a visit and enquiring for a brother and thats where this situation and perhaps also reputation comes from.
What I'm addressing is why these women are attracted to ajnabis in the first place. Sure, you can say it's a preference, but when an entire group develops with specific tastes, there's got to be more to the equation. Desperation plays an essential role, however, yet again, why are ex-cons getting it & Somali men aren't? If one is desperate, they'd take anyone. These women, on the other hand, choose ex-con reverts out of the list. As easy as it is going to the masjid, these girls could have gone to a makhayaad/tukaan/xaflad/any Somali function to land a dude. They could have asked their family or friends or co-workers. If she's into men with criminal records, then she's in luck cause there's plenty of Somali ex-cons in any city. Just doesn't make sense to have a type when you're dying to get wed off.
Alphanumeric wrote:
To make it clear to those debating Lill, from what I understand, she's arguing for the Cultural incentive, that had Somali guys encompassed the values and practices of our culture, these women in question would be much more appreciative of us, instead of acting in accordance of the topic.
I don't know how you deduced this. I simply proposed a prognosis, not a diagnosis.
There are two problems with this premise, Lill: 1. These women, no, these girls that are flocking to ex-con reformed/revert Muslims do not want the Somali culture. They make this clear in their actions. They make it clear by ignoring their parents and advice of close relatives. They themselves have little culture in practice. 2. More importantly, there is no Somali culture in the diaspora. I'm sincerely sorry to have to admit this. We here are forced to choose between either full integration into our surroundings, or holding onto what little deen we can, by any means. And to many of us, those means are by learning Arabic and hoping to live in a (peaceful) Muslim country. An attempt to keep the culture (that I have argued we haven't been given) will result in failing in the deen. Although the macawiis is worn by us, lol, it's worn just as often by these reformed/revert Muslims.
The issue is overhead the individual...
1. Yes and no. There's a number of cases of girls wanting to get married to a Somali man but the family refused because he belonged to the wrong clan/tribe or wasn't from the right family. As a result, the girls bring forth an ajnabi & the family feels obliged to accept because a) they don't want to bear the burden of a tarnished family name if their daughter has an illegit child, and b) she only brought this guy cause the last one didn't fit up to their own criteria, although he was an appropriate suitor. So it's not necessarily true that the girl ignores her parents/relatives advice. In these cases, their experiences lead to their decision of marrying an ajnabi. Nonetheless, there are women who refuse to marry a Somali due to their inferiority complex or other imbalances, and as a result, reject Somali dhaqan in it's totality. I'll give you that
2. As much as we've lost, it's impossible to deny that our culture still lingers with us in diaspora. I think you're using integration as a synonym for assimilation, which isn't correct. Somalis share customs, mores, a rich language, clothing, rituals, food, art and the list can go on. Of course we've adapted to life in qurbaha but to say that we've wholly lost our culture is absurd.
That's a long ass thread, so I'll just ask you here. How does adhering to Somali dhaqan decrease one's ability to practice the diin?
