a story about a somali chick who married a non somali

Dicemoney · Post by **Dicemoney** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:46 am

http://www.somalina.com/

www.somalina.com

I was 19 and thought I was sooooo in love! But the reality was I liked the idea of being "independent" away at university. He was someone who was fascinated with all things African (and Iman) so he followed me around for two years. Needless to say, I liked the attention I thought I was being so progressive and living an ideal both my illiterate parents could never wish for (his family was rich and well-connected). I introduced him to my parents as a "study-buddy" but I know they knew the truth - they wanted me to learn the answer for myself since I wasn't going to heed they're advice anyway. We were married in a courthouse out of town because by then his parents were having issues with our union (they were devout Christians) Not but six months later all of our differences came to surface - he hated all of our meals, thought our music was whiney and was embarrassed when I wore a dhiray out of the house. I was resolved to toss the relationship out and call it an experience I'll never again partake in - but then I found out I was pregnant! How could I leave? But how could I stay with someone who wanted to teach our children that my culture was secondary to his? He put hip-hop before Somali on the later of respect!

I was ready to leave but didn't where to go. I rejected my people and family - would they still want me? Did Allah still love me when I defied everything he tried to teach me? Luckily, your family will always be there to pick up the pieces behind you - no matter what.

I've been free of him for ten years now but I still have to deal with him through the courts. And my child goes to church, celebrates Christmas and Easter with his family and new extremely Christian wife during his visitation period and there is nothing I can do about it except try to deprogram him when he comes home.

Sisters, please listen, don't let this be you! For all their problems and arrogances Somali men should be all you need - less aggravation, same cultural and deen, also, his family is your family.

For me, my next and last man, will be 100% Somali!

------------------------------------------------------------ ---------

Thank you all for your views. My boy believes himself to be Muslim but enjoys the holidays (gifts,etc) with his father's family. He doesn't like the idea of voices his views against his father's because he respectfully fears them as a child should (he's only ten what kind of war could he possibly hope to win?) He tells me when he is at home with me and my family that is when he feels freer (Christian households have more restraints believe it or not - as if they fear discovery of what they know could not possibly be correct.)

By the way, I do have physical custody over him (meaning he primarily resides with me) but he has weekend visitations and holidays (the courts only acknowledge Christian and Jewish holidays on the calendar.)

Insha allah, by the time he is 15 he would feel more comfortable in proclaiming himself Muslim to the world instead of just me and other Somalis.

(Oh, but he does tell his dad he's not American - because he looks and feels 100% Somali pure! )

Post by **Basra-** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:48 am

LionHeart-112 · Post by **LionHeart-112** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:54 am

I haven't read your story but i wanna say that more and more somali girls are marrying non- somali men..why? i don't care...In a city that has only 3000 somalis, 2 girls married non somalis in the last 2 months. One to a moroccan, the other to a Pakistani..Alhamdulillah, both were muslim men so it doesn't bother me....what bothers me is girls like IYADA who "do" non muslim "adoon" men because of their ceeb size. Laughing

miss_surur · Post by **miss_surur** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:59 am

interesting story, but I think it should be added that a marriage like that
(a marriage between a muslim female and a kafir man) is invalid in islam.

anyways, I'm glad she's learned from her mistakes, and is ready to warn other sisters about doing the same.

mizz_chief · Post by **mizz_chief** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:01 am

somali girls are only catching up with what somali men did and still do. im my area more somali men are seen with non somalians on a daily basis... its rare to find a girl with a non somali here, and if so he was a muslim way before he met her..... thta story is quite sad and unfortunate but i hear similar stories like that other parts of London

Steeler [Crawler2] · Post by **Steeler [Crawler2]** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:06 am

"I was 19 and thought I was sooooo in love! But the reality was I liked the idea of being "independent" away at university. He was someone who was fascinated with all things African (and Iman) so he followed me around for two years. Needless to say, I liked the attention I thought I was being so progressive and living an ideal both my illiterate parents could never wish for (his family was rich and well-connected). I introduced him to my parents as a "study-buddy" but I know they knew the truth - they wanted me to learn the answer for myself since I wasn't going to heed they're advice anyway. We were married in a courthouse out of town because by then his parents were having issues with our union (they were devout Christians) Not but six months later all of our differences came to surface - he hated all of our meals, thought our music was whiney and was embarrassed when I wore a dhiray out of the house. I was resolved to toss the relationship out and call it an experience I'll never again partake in - but then I found out I was pregnant! How could I leave? But how could I stay with someone who wanted to teach our children that my culture was secondary to his? He put hip-hop before Somali on the later of respect!"

So let me get this straight. You "knew" this guy for over two years, and he didn't discover what your culture was like until after you got married? Honey, the problem wasn't that you married a non-Somali or a non-Muslim, the problem was you married an idiot.

Dicemoney · Post by **Dicemoney** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:08 am

Basra whats up with this eye rolling and its not my story lets get this straight I dont mind against interacial marriage iam against hypocrisi

mizz_chief · Post by **mizz_chief** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:08 am

i agree BUT, isnt she to blame too, that fact that SHE knew him that long and knew he wasnt warming to her a religion UNLESS he played her into thinking he was 100% muslim until after the marriage...

Dicemoney · Post by **Dicemoney** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:10 am

Plain simple the guy played here and know she is crying about it the only person I feel sad for is the kid

Post by **Basra-** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:12 am

" Honey, the problem wasn't that you married a non-Somali or a non-Muslim, the problem was you married an idiot"

LOOOL Laughing

You know how Mad Mac is Sweet?? You know how ALL you idiots should respect Mad Mac-- & why i respect & adore him? Observe the above message he wrote.First of all observe the "Honey" address which is a very dear word to address this idiot girl--very kind of Mad Mac walaahi---Mad Mac is very hesitant to bash the somali idiot girl who is 'equally' idiot as the non somali guy.Mad mac does not blame the Somali girl-- he blames the none somali guy & calls him an idiot.Mad mac is a Somali by heart. Laughing

Dicemoney..sure dear..... Rolling Eyes

Sir-Luggoyo · Post by **Sir-Luggoyo** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:13 am

In the message it says that he put Hip Hop before Somali, hence a Fufu Christian.

.
.
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Case closed

Post by **The-Screw** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:14 am

Mac Sonkor to the F.ucking 10th power mataqanaa. to hell with your regrets lady. " i liked the idea of being independent" kulahaa... she f.ucked up what else there to it? i don't really give a sh!t about what somali dhoocilo do these days, they know what they're doing isn't right, why should they calaacal when things go wrong? b!tch you got yourself into it didn't you?

Dicemoney · Post by **Dicemoney** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:14 am

Basra why dont you marry mad mac be his second wife ????

mac it seems basra has the hots for you Laughing

muslim-man · Post by **muslim-man** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:15 am

it's ok to marry people from other backgrounds and races as long as they are practising muslims. What is the advantage of settling for your country or tribe mate if he is a lowlife and a qaat ravaged lazy bum??

i think if a good muslima finds a practising muslim man, she shouldn't hesitate, instead she should go for him and pray to Allah to strenghen the bond and vice versa for the men.

Steeler [Crawler2] · Post by **Steeler [Crawler2]** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:16 am

The guy didn't "play her". He probably saw this hot Somali chick, didn't know how to spell Islam, never learned that the Somalis aren't just "Africans", maybe ate one or two Somali meals - in short, he liked the nookie and the look and maybe even some of the superficial aspects of the girl, but didn't do any real homework. Next thing you know they're living together and he says "Shit, these people really are different. And the Somalis are total d!cks" (And I love you guys or I wouldn't hang out here, but let's face it, Somalis aren't the easiest people in the world to get along with). Course then it's too late.

As for the girl, she did about as much homework as he did. In fact, she KNEW he came from a religious Christian family, but she just ignored that fact. Not too smart.

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a story about a somali chick who married a non somali

a story about a somali chick who married a non somali