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[SummerRain]

So you'll know about the proposed arrange marriage I told U about earlier this week. How bad is it exactly if you go against your parents wishes on this issue?

[Koronto91]

Ismahan,

Its a tough predicament, but at the end of the day, its your life and not theirs. Just tell your parents No, without being harsh or rude. Tell them in Islam, you have rights and you have a right to turn down a suitor the family has selected for you, they have no right to force anything on you and they have no right to curse you (inkaar).

Best of wishes to you!

[paidmonk]

Ismahan,

Is he THAT bad?

I advise you to make the best of it and to stop chasing this 'real love' sort of thing because its a television fantasy. My dad came one day in 1981 and proposed to my mom's parents; they approved, and so they began their lives.

The best type of marriage is an arranged one, actually, they rarely fail. And this also puts pressure on the husband to go the extra mile to make you happy and to show that his appointment as your husband was not a mistake.

Again, he can't be THAT bad if he actually WANTS to get married, as opposed to the other thousand men in your city who are afraid of it.


Then again, I'm a paid monk, I might by lying to you.

[SummerRain]

Koronto,

Thanks, what you said is where my thoughts were leaning to anyways. My family is very understanding and they did say its upto me, so I dont have to worry about inkaar or what not. I just hate disappointing my family and the fact I"m too not liberal about this issue is some what getting into their nerves. They except me to atleast give him a chance.

Paid,

No you are not lying. And he is not bad at all. As a matter of fact we talked and he seemed real and down to earth. However, I still feel like I need to find him myself.

[Luq_Ganane]

Ismahan, just tell your parents that your not interested. They may kick and scream, lakin at the end of the day its not like there going to disown you or something. Life will go on. As far as my Pops goes, he macked my mom in front of her doorstep in Bardhere for like a few months before they got married. . Ofcoruse this was done in an Islamic fasion, but he still got a chance to really talk to her. Personally I don't like the arranged route. I think everybody should find out who they're comfortable with.

[SummerRain]

[quote="Luq_Ganane"]Ismahan, just tell your parents that your not interested. They may kick and scream, lakin at the end of the day its not like there going to disown you or something. Life will go on. As far as my Pops goes, he macked my mom in front of her doorstep in Bardhere for like a few months before they got married. . Ofcoruse this was done in an Islamic fasion, but he still got a chance to really talk to her. Personally I don't like the arranged route. I think everybody should find out who they're comfortable with. [/quote]

I agree with U.

[AbdiWahab252]

Ismahan,

Take your parent's dua and get to know the brother.

I wish my parents' would bring someone to me like yours did.

Except they still think I am the raging Casanova of yesterday.

[SummerRain]

AW,

Its still a relationship dear, you are better off picking the person and getting to know them yourself.

[The-Screw]

runaway and come to my place,

[SummerRain]

U and I wont last for more than a day tops.

[The-Screw]

yeah? lets find out, i'll pick you up at the greyhound..say, 11pm?

[AbdiWahab252]

Ismahan,

Trust me.

U will do better with your parent's dua

At least u have the satisfaction of blaming them if things don't work out

[SummerRain]

Screw,

Ma ku jiiro sxb............. U might hurt me with your unpredictable temper.

AW,

inyoow.

[AbdiWahab252]

Ismahan,

Its your loss

But realize that you are on your own: for better or worse.

When in love, remember you don't see the other person's faults or potential problems down the road.

[The-Screw]