The rendezvous with potential pops-in-law was set on Saturday. Sir-Lugta Xaaji Diini put on his finest suit to curtail failing the science of first impression, looked in the mirror for the umpteenth time, smiled back at the 6'2" figure reflection, satisfied with everything, he stepped out holding firmly the gift he specifically bought for the old man. Drove in good spirits enjoying the breeze caressing his face and thinking positive.
I came to the house, rung the bell twice and waited, but the door was already ajar, so I pushed, cleared my throat louder than usual to announce my presence. The lady of the house came and motioned me to proceed to the living room where the old man was going through a tiny notebook, apparently looking for a Somalia phone number. When he heard my footsteps, he got up, smiled widely (exposing a missing front tooth and a mouth so neglected that some major dental work was required) and repeated "Welcome to my humble abode" I handed the gift to him, shook his extended hand, and sat on the couch. I was expecting he would pass the gift to his wife and maybe open later, but he started fumbling with it, tearing the gift-wrap and opening hastily.
Now, we are seated comfortably, sipping two glasses of extremely sweet juice and the real conversation started.
Xaaji Ducaale: (cleared his throat) So, you came alone as u said on the phone? (obviously despising that)
Me: As you can see, I am by myself. Since I am the one asking your daughter's hand in marriage, I decided to come alone.
Xaaji Ducaale: Where are your parents, if I may ask?
Me: “Here, in the States”
Xaaji Ducaale: “So, your parents are here and still you decided to come alone?” He retorted, admiring the gift I brought him.
Me: “Xaaji, with all due respect, I understand where you are coming from, and I understand how vile and despicable it looks to you the fact that I came by myself, but, let's not dwell on that issue. Perhaps we should talk about the reason I came.”
Xaaji Ducaale: “Who are your parents?” (a poor attempt of disguised Qolamaa tahay)
Me: “They are so and so. But they are not the ones who will marry your daughter. I am the one who will be accountable for that.”
Xaaji Ducaale: (then he started mulling silently about a nostalgic past b4 he spoke) “When I went for my wife's hand in marriage, it took the two clans three months to finalize it.” He said in a hardly audible voice, almost talking to himself. “And I paid a record high number of camels, the most exorbitant bride price in the history of Buuhodle”
Me: “And why was that.”
XD: “Because me and my younger brother fulfilled one of the darndest missions of that time. We snatched her right in the middle of her clan while she was tending goats in the outskirts of the village in broad daylight. We had the fastest horses in the neighborhood of Buuhoodle but that did not deter some of the best gallants of the clan who were right at our heels. Me and my brother took out our guns and started shooting at them.”
Me: “ !!!! Did you by any chance …………….killed…..anyone?”
XD: “Of course, I killed two of our pursuers and my brother did kill one’ He said that with pride almost intoxicating him. “You know what? You are a daring young man too, I have to give you that.
Me: “ Thanks Xaaji. Is that your way of approval?”
Xaaji Ducaale: “Not completely. I am neither denying you nor approving you, but it all depends on what my daughter wants. You know how it is nowadays?”
Me: “ Your daughter and I love each other very much and I am sure she will consent.”
Xaaji Ducaale: (shouting) “Naayaa Waris. Wariseey. Naa bal kaalay”
Waris: “ Hee aabo”
Xaaji Ducaale: “Do you know this young man?”
Waris: (shyly) “Yes father”
XD: “ Do you approve of him as a potential husband?”
Waris: (still shyly) “Yes father” (running back hastily to the kitchen.)
I could hear her mother’s shrieking ululation in the kitcen.
XD: (addressing me) “So, you did your homework. Listen young man. Even though I approve, I still wanna meet your father to authenticate yr claim and go through necessary arrangements.”
Me: “That's fine. Getting your approval was my main task. You will meet both my parents shortly.”
Now, question is, should I go ahead or should I terminate the whole process. I don’t want Jr. Sir-Luggoyos inheriting the killer gene.
