Postby Kamal35 » Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:46 pm
Mizz-Chief, sorry for the delay. Too much work today...
Well, I think people are very quick to pre-judge anyone for his country, race, religion, traditions, culture, whatever. In all sides. In the same way my ex girlfriend had to suffer a lot of prejudices in my country ("so, you're muslim? What do you think about Salman Rushdie? Do you pray five times a day?", and all that crap) I had to suffer a lot of prejudices from her family, even when I never met them personally, by phone, by letter, by no means... I was like an "entity"... "The Spaniard".
But, thinking about muslim girls (and what happened to her opened my eyes about the culture and traditions in countries like Morocco), just imagine yourself, Mizz-Chief. Let's suppose, by your location, that you're living in England. You're muslim, you practise your religion and feel proud of it. At the same time, you're living in -let's call it- a 'modern society'. You can drive a car, you can go to the University, study a career, get a job, rent an apartment for yourself, buy your own clothes, get your own money and live your own life. You are independent and you can do what you want because you're an adult woman. No matter if you're dressing Somali clothes or European clothes, if you're wearing a hijab or wearing jeans.
Just imagine that, suddenly, with all your life and friends and job in England, you're forced to pack up and come back to Somalia. Maybe your dream was someday coming back to Somalia to settle down there, to buy a house, start a job there and to have a family and a life there. But now, right now, you're forced to leave your job, your apartment, your way of life, you're put in a plane and you're suddenly in Somalia. Now, you're not Mizz-Chief, but the daughter of X or the nephew of Y, the sister of M or the fiancee of B. Because women in your culture are jewels, you have to be treated as a jewel: overprotected, staying at home, what about a job? "A woman doesn't need to work! She's fed by her husband or father!". You can't go out to the street because you can be on danger. You have to ask permission to your relatives to visit a cousin, a girl. You have to dress Somali clothes because this is Somalia, and your sex has to be chopped because this is the tradition.
Believe me: if you someday loved Somalia and dreamed with Somalia, you will start to hate Somalia. Why? Because you have your own life. Because you were educated that you can wear hijab if you want or you can wear jeans if you want. You can dress like a Somali girl WHILE anybody forces you to dress like this or like that. When you see that people, in order or some kind of traditions, culture, etc, try to impose their beliefs, their costumes, their things to you, against your own will, well, that's not tradition: that's slavery.
Probably, those relatives are wishing the best for you and are dying for you to feel comfortable with them. But nobody went and asked you what you wanted. They PRESUME this is what you want. But nobody asks you. How does it feel? Well, I imagine that was the way my ex girlfriend felt back home and, from what I know, is how she's feeling even today. After studying a great career, after being the No1 in her promotion, after getting a job in which she earnt a lot lot of money, money enough to have her own apartment, car, way of life, friends, holidays, travels, she was forced to leave all that behind because her father was afraid she could become a "Westerner girl"...
I'm with her when she asked him: "So, why did you spent so much money on me, on my career, why did you send me to Spain?". And yeah, why sending your own daughter to kuffirland insteand sending her to study Al Quran in Saudi Arabia, for instance? I find this really contradictory. If I'm sent to live in Uganda, I'll marry with an Ugandese girl. If I'm sent to Mexico, I'll marry a Mexican girl... If you want to preserve your daughter of such "dangers", don't send her to a "dangerous" zone. And, when she has a life, don't force her to leave everything behind and to re-start an old life that she actually had forgotten.
I told this hundred of times: if sometime I was curious about Islam, it was not because of the father, who visited Mekka five times and spent the whole day praying and going to the Mosque. I was curious because of her. And she never tried to impose Islam to me, never started a talk about Islam unless I was the first one on speaking about it, never told me: "You have to read Al Quran". She was nicely amazed when I asked her things about Islam, and then started to talk about it and how wonderful it would be that we both could speak about it freely. But she wasn' a girl wearing hijab, praying five times a day or saying day in day out: "This is sin", "that's forbidden", etc. She was a muslim woman. That's all. But a woman. She kept Islam for her private life and I loved to share it with her. Being a non-observant muslim, she woke my curiosity much more than all those so-called muslims who are parroting hadiths and "hamdulillahs" all the time. They're really bored. I'm not interested on people for what they speak, but for the way they behave in life.
So, her father was alright? No. Did he do a good action to her? Not at all. Why: because, being so muslim and all that, he forgot the main rule between a father and a daughter, whoever they are muslims, buddhists, atheists, christians or anything else: To ask your daughter if she's happy, and if she isn't, to ask her what does she need to be happy. And to get the moon, if it's necessary, to keep your baby happy.
He didn't bothered to ask her what she wanted.
Your theory about the homosexuality thing is also --far fetched. Kamal is very far from being one; he strikes me as An English gentleman man- sophisicated & gentle manly manner-- often mistaken for gay & then later English. I think thats just pure hating. I say-- leave Kamal alone!!! Kamal is a rare gem of the gems. 
