Was LoveAlways Deported to Somaliland for being bad?
Last Sunday, I had a 15 minute conversation with LoveAlways on Tinychat. Here's how this conversation unfolded:
When LoveAlways mic'ed up and started talking with me, my first impression was she sounded like she was making a presentation at Everest college. I told her to take it easy, and to stop being so robotic. She reluctantly agreed.
After we exchanged polite formalities, she told me a little about her self. She said she's from Toronto but is 'vacationing' and working in Hargeisa. Then she informed me she was going to be in Hargeisa for a few years. Then she asked when the last time I visited Somalia, to which I said:
"When it comes to Somalia, I'm like famine - i visit every two-three years" ---As I was saying this, LoveAlways went on cam and showed her hair, which was colored red.
It was at this point that my mind was thinking her story doesn't add up. After all, she's from Toronto, a city with a reputation for having Somali girls that have seen more nuts than a crazy house. She also just showed me she has red hair, a color that Somali girls have when they are in a rebellious mood. And she did say she was going to be in Hargeisa for a few years, something most young Somalis from the West don't willingly do.
As I processed all the information, it hit me that LoveAlways was either deported by the Canadian Government or her parents ditched her in Hargesia because she was, presumably, doing what other young Somali girls in Toronto do: letting slightly healthy Jamaicans run through them like a track meet.
But I didn't have enough evidence to convince myself. So I tested her personality to see if she was this angelic girl she presents herself to be. I started teasing her a bit and to my surprise, she teased me back. Within a span of 2 minutes of making fun of each other, she called me gay, a nigger, fufu lips and Zubeir. When she said Zubeir, I had heard enough and told her to watch her mouth before I Ray Rice her ass. She quickly submitted to my order, as she sensed my tone had shifted to Hawiye.
So she tried to break the tension by asking if I had tried the "ice bucket challenge". I said I'll do the ice bucket challenge when she does the Mogadishu challenge. She said she isn't a tribalist and would love to visit Mogadishu BUT she is working in Hargeisa and couldn't find the time to fly down south to get pistol whipped by Hawiye street vendors.
We both laughed.
She asked me if I have ever had an Isaaq girlfriend. I told her even though I was raised to believe that Isaaqs are more inbred than Sandwich fillers, i'm really not a triablist. And that I make fun of all tribes equally to show how goofy it is to take it so seriously.
She then opened up and said she isn't finding much luck with Somali guys in Somaliland. She said most of the guys there are too nice and kiss her ass. She said she's tired of these 50 shades of gay dudes that approach her. She said she wanted a manly man ---a hunter gatherer who doesn't have the words "I can't" in his vocabulary. She said she wants an intelligent guy who can teach her new things. A confident guy who can take charge, and who isn't afraid to call her out when she's out of line.
I said sounds like you want a man with a green card that can give you that domestic violence romance.
She smiled and pointed to her red hair and winked.
At this point, her internet cafe money ran out and she got disconnected from the internet.
I left shortly afterwards. But I left with the sense that LoveAlways is an intelligent girl who knows what she wants but lacks the confidence to get it. She's not a pushover either and will fight back, even though she hates attention and drama. She truly represents the saying of not judging a book by its cover, even though the story in her book is predictably boring.
someone get this nigga a TV show
None of it is true adeer. 