Moderators: Moderators, Junior Moderators
Good. We shoud fight injustices. It is the root cause of every proble,.Lama: I fight all the injustice that is going on this site, whether it's for the tolka or even the opposite gender. I talk for all people.
Gacan iyo lug ayaan kuu taagey qalanjo.
Shalanbood, mubaarak, Mareerey, Janaale, ceel jaalle waa inaan isu raacnaa. You, Twist(aaway duqii toloow ma mid ayaa ku fadhiisatay oo ka kaci weeysay?ii waran gacalka? Markaad shalambood iyo meelahaas kale uu socotid isoo sheeg bal
Beledki aan ku dhashay xiiso wayn uu qaba
) and I should go together. 
My friend can only be tamed by a dhooboy beauty. Lamagoodleyaasha isma fahmayaan. He will need a woman that makes him canuuni, bocor and baamiye cocktail; and if needed do the forbidden dance (the kabeebey) and call him xaaji gaaboow moorada makaankeeyga waaye. Not a lamagoodle who claims that anslaato is for the goats (ma coos ayaan cuni karaa?) and portrays the suuro,Lol@dhoobeey naag laga raadinayo.
Hook a brother up, xili fiican ayeey uu tahay
I have enjoyed reading it. You're brilliant gifted writer!I was bored so I wrote this joke saaxibiyaal. Let the kaftan flow
It all started as a gesture of quality assurance. It was about time to improve the standard of the site. and update the soft ware. Waryaa, the elusive but gifted CEO showed up after months of AWOL. Rumours had it that he wedded either a gashaanto in the hills of Galdogob or a maqabiyo in xamar weyne. Or even both.
Waryaa upgraded the site and on the main page appreciated the efforts of the moderators in maintaining the site’s position as the nummero uno site for somalis to exchange views. The unsung heroes and heroines of the site who spend hours on moderating it.
To uphold the position of somalinet, Waryaa held a meeting in the moderators’ lounge. Greetings were exchanged, ideas disseminated and strategies on improving the site were discussed.
A question that was brought up was how to improve the site without compromising its position as the penultimate source of maxaa la yiri? Jokes, sheeko, creativity, knowledge and ideas.
Moderators have a thin line to walk on. On the one hand, to ensure the site not to become qashin qub and to promote free speech, on the other. Suffocating ideas, it was agreed, would not lead our people to develop. In order to offset our quagmire new innovative and creative ideas were needed even if this meant exploring unchartered territories. And it was somalinet that should lead the efforts. It was afterall the site of ideas and free speech.
As the bastion of free speech, the site attracts members from the diverse world of somaliweyn and even those on the peripheries of decency. Tribalists, drug addicts, the imprudent, puerile, vile, etc. as well the intelligent, shrewd, rational and even kaligii muslims, agitators etc. Yeah, almost all walks of our society.
The meeting concluded with a suggestion to increase the number of moderators.
“I want names Jaalleyaal”said Waryaa authoritatively.
Names were volunteered and reasons given.
The suggestions considered gender, length of membership and online persona.
Thugamonics and Perfect order were suggested.
In a bid to communicate the decision and to get the views of the members, a thread was initiated in the general discussions by the great Sufi mowlana Le Justicier, may Allah grant him jannah and xusul baruurs.
The idea of posting a thread on the issue was in line with the doctrine of the secular communist system- kind of Machiavellian dynamics- of the blessed revolution when Somalia was a feared nation; When the government wanted to reshuffle, imprison someone or do something else, fragmented bits of news was sent to the rumour mills; Yoobsan, the fleet street of the rumour mills was the place to do that. It was about gaging the views of the masses.
Within a few minutes, the thread was in full motion and was receiving hits. It was as if this move was anticipated and that everyone wanted to see if their names of those of their tolka were displayed.
Nada.
Metamorphoses, a young man, who portrays a bipolar kind of behaviour wrote; Looma dhammo. Meta, as he is called is a chap who on the one hand is well versed in Islamic doctrine and is a well-articulated lad whose contributions on improving lives would have been appreciated. On the other hand, he is a tribalistic kid who mocks the views of the faith he purports to safeguard. Several members expressed that it is difficult to understand, how one could combine these characteristics but he is not alone. It might be argued that almost all the tribalists on somalinet have a “holier than thou” attitude. There are tribalists, terrorists, muslims and much more all at once. On paper, at least, this is a mockery of the faith they claim to defend and spread. The pseudo-muslims, kaligoog muslims love invoking a verse of the quran or a hadith out of context and sound convincing unless they are undressed. Meta was supported by a bunch of kaligood muslims; tribalists from various sections lined him and called Meta akhi, brother, and used maasha allah, ina lilaah, aun, etc as if they have sniffed the opium of the new somali religion; me, "my tol and I" laced in islamic well sometimes arabic words.
After various exchanges with Le justicier, Meta was giving the marching orders; you need a month or so to recuperate son, said Le Justicier.
Idman, a smart lass whose knowledge of somali culture is unparalleled and who provides just for the moment humour and judicious discussions weighed in. She was suddenly transformed into the spokesman of the tolka; this is injustice she sobbed. Two new moderators for the tolkas that already have other moderators and nothing for my tolka. A disgrace!
Tanker, a well-travelled Scandinavian lass also weighed in. As a former comrade to the secular communist member of the moderators’ lounge her arguments contained nostalgic elements of yesteryears and the need to enforce the ideals of utopia.
Secularists, atheists and other kaligood muslims weighed in too and in due course, subjects such as the sick formulae of 4,5 and Islam were discussed.
It was as if every unit was saying “waan qadanahay”; a wailing wall that would dwarf the one in Jerusalem. The kaligood muslims claimed that the site has become the Mecca of atheists and secularists; it was time they claim to enforce the sharia from a tolka perspective; all those who do not share our socially constructed tribal/clan lineage should be castrated and their views curtailed. We are qabiliste muslims afterall they shouted.
There was no way to convince them that they were in essence the true deviants from Islam. Abdi J tried to remind that it was them who were condoning the death of other muslims they did not share the clan nonsense with and that they applaud those who died of starvation. It was aamus waryaa gaal baad tahay.
Just when the readers thought they had had enough, a new bunch of identity seeking young men and women came to the meeting.
They shouted in unison “We are not Arabs “ We, want moderators that are not arab bootlickers”.
As if singing a duet, another group shouted “we are muslims and in the extension Arabs”. We want moderators who are muslims, arabs, somalis and who hate Africans all in one.
Several of the moderators decided to respond but in vain. Soon, Takbiir, gaal, reer hebel, arab bootlicker, Afrocentric could be heard in the room.
Just when the meeting was about to end in chaos, a few beautiful chicks wearing the alindhi, the dirac jabouti and the guntiino entered the venue. It was the who is who of the somalinet band of sisters. All mannered, civilised and shrewed. Sophistcate, Tuushi, DeeqaD, BV,Evoly, Veiled G, SummerR, Idman, YummyM, Bella, Amiira, SimplyS, Cherine and many more. Even the wise Idman joined the sisters. It was female power on display.
The room was quiet and was anticipating a buraanbur. The war of words between the kaligood muslims, the tribalists, the atheists, the Arab bootlickers, afro centrists suddenly stopped.
Muted…. It was as if everyone was taken aback by the beauty on display.
The splendours walked in majestically. The uunsi and cadar was in the air. People looked at each other and thought for a moment that something as big as a somalinet wedding was about to happen.
It was clear that they have been rehearsing what to say for days. In a synchronised voice they shouted “ WHERE ARE THE WOMEN MODERATORS”?
Even high majesty Basra joined in; this was a time to show SISTER power. No this was not time to mock/discuss little willies or victorian England. It was time to show girlpower.
The moderators knew that this is an Achilles heel. They had discussed this; several names were suggested.
“Yeah, we know. We suggest xxx and yyy to be the new female moderators.” They replied
One by one, the suggested names said they were not ready for the task….
Waa inoo marke
Pls write it in Somali......I love your Somali. Not the grammar but the accent. You are one real Banaadiri girl. Recently heavily accent iljeex folks such as BV, SummerRain and Aw252 claim to be BanaaadiriLol!
And he never fails, he always delivers.
I love how you captured the craziness of somalinet these days. I'm glad you're here though.
Wiilka twist intuu ka baxaay though?
........mashaAllah though
Mashaqo dooli ahaa taasMy friend can only be tamed by a dhooboy beauty. Lamagoodleyaasha isma fahmayaan. He will need a woman that makes him canuuni, bocor and baamiye cocktail; and if needed do the forbidden dance (the kabeebey) and call him xaaji gaaboow moorada makaankeeyga waaye. Not a lamagoodle who claims that anslaato is for the goats (ma coos ayaan cuni karaa?) and portrays the suuro,Lol@dhoobeey naag laga raadinayo.
Hook a brother up, xili fiican ayeey uu tahay
Pls write it in Somali......I love your Somali. Not the grammar but the accent. You are one real Banaadiri girl. Recently heavily accent iljeex folks such as BV, SummerRain and Aw252 claim to be BanaaadiriLol!
And he never fails, he always delivers.
I love how you captured the craziness of somalinet these days. I'm glad you're here though.
Wiilka twist intuu ka baxaay though?
........mashaAllah though
I made no such claim but the good thing about being iljeex is that we aren't confined to one geographical location...we even secured some iljeexs up north. 
Return to “General - General Discussions”
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 41 guests
