Need advise!!!

[Sad-sister]

Salam aleukum: I am a married women who is not happy with the relationship, don’t get me wrong I love my husband with all my heart, and He loves me too, Yet we have a problem, like ever other couple, My husband is typical Somali man with a pride, he knows I want to stay married to him so he abuses me emotionally with his strong and insensitive words, it hurts, my husband is a jealous kind of guy with attitude, am a beautiful, strong young educated muslin lady, he’s aware all of that yet he’s too arrogant to see it, he thinks that I will never leave him, I swear I don’t ever want to leave him but sometimes he drives me to it, now am thinking of leaving him, I don’t know what to do, I know I love him but he’s no good for me anymore, he verbally abuses me, calls a names, when am I upset of something he did, never make an apology, don’t forget am a newly wed, he has most perfect family, my in-laws are every women’s dream in-laws, perfect and some times I think his family loves me more them my own husband does,. And my family loves him, and they think am happy, sorry I can’t get into a details, hope you understand, so brothers & sisters I need your help, what shall I do? I need him, I need my marriage to work, I don’t like divorce, I came here to breath, as you all know in real live people will judge me without compromising the situation, and really don’t need that, I have a lots of friends and when it comes to something like this I don’t trust them, so please for Allah sake help me and don’t insult me or judge me, I have enough of that at home!!! jzk'allah
asc wrwb

[COSTA]

^^ Have you gained some weight lately its a common problem
we Somalimen sees when ever we marry she starts forgetting herself
after three months she will look like Hippopotamus

Ps

I m speaking personal experience

If you need more help just call me the number is the one i sent you into your PM

[DANGIRL]

Sad sister if i'm in the same situation as you are i would divorce the guy.No lady should suffer under any kind of abuse from their husbands.I know words are more damaging than the actually of hitting.

You should straight up and tell him yu keep acting like fool me and the kids are gone!

[Advocator]

DanGirl hold your horses sis, You seem to forget their "NEWLY-WEDS" and it's garuanteed that problems will come with the package, the real challange is how you overcome your obstacle...your solution determens your dedication and commitment to the marraige.


Sad-sister, I know that Your in dilema but try to confront him and discuss the issue until you guys come to an agreement.... If that doesnt work..then leave him for a while...Go to a friends house or your family place..Stay there unitl he becomes lonely and comes looking for you..hopefully after that he would re-consider his ways of treating you.

I hope that I've been a little help to you...My best regards be with you and your marraige

Assalaamu caleeykum waraxma tulaahi wa barakaatu....

[Sad-sister]

salam alekum

Costa jzk'alah brotha, but hope u read what i wrote closely, aint nothing wrong with me, but anyways thanks brotha

Dangirl: Thanks for the advise, and you’re right no one should cope with such a behavior, and good luck with you too sister ,.. Pray for me as I pray for you

Advocator: Thanks brotha, I’ve no friends that I can trust with my problems, nor family, neither of them believes otherwise, I believe marriage or divorce not in between, If I leave him chances are I might never come back to him again, no matter how much I love him, so I’ll try to talk to him and handle the situation best way I can, although it hard to talk to some one that thinks he knows better, he has a Big pride, and its ceeb for to tell him that he’s wrong but other then the insult am okay,….I came here to breath like I said earlier any other advise will appreciated, again pls don’t insult me nor judge me, got enough of that
thanks Advocator. appreciated,

[yasmin507]

sad sister i feel u gurl abayo listen up ur husband is callin' u namez and he is abusin' u next time he is gonna take it to da next level physically abusin'. gurl ppl treat u how u wanna be treated and u led him treat u that way. obviously he sees that u luv him u aint goin no where and that is why he actin up that way. if i waz u i woulda back my bagz up leave him. why live wit someone who makez ur life miserble? dnt scare of divorce find some else who respects u loyal trusts u and be there 4 u upz and downz seriouzly u dnt have no children so u got nothin' to lose.
ur husbadn thinks he is right all of the time so basically he does not value ur opinion gurl dnt led him walk over u like that stick out 4urself. if he is like that i think he doesnt even led u spend time wit ur friendz family or go out side of the house. dnt led him control ur life like that. ur happiness in life dependens only on the decisions u make.

[DANGIRL]

Advocator:DanGirl hold your horses sis, You seem to forget their "NEWLY-WEDS" and it's garuanteed that problems will come with the package, the real challange is how you overcome your obstacle...your solution determens your dedication and commitment to the marraige.


So you're saying if they are newlywed he should abuse her?

Yes problems do come with the marriage,but physical hitting someone isnt the way to resolve a problem, you're just making it worrier.

The only way she can overcome her obstacle is if she leaves him before he kills her

Sad-Sister you got this impression that i'm married as well too? No sister i aint married,but thanks for thinking that i was married Lool.

I'll have you in my prayers.

[mvp]

Sad sister, Congrats you won the stupidity, foolishness a ward of the year.......for bringing your private problems to the internet

hope yo playing no one can be that doqon

[DANGIRL]

mvp--If she brings her privacy into the world wide web its her business she can do it.No one knows her personally exacpt herself.

[NiVea*]

Asalamu Caleykum sister.
Firstly let me congratulate you on your marriage as half of your Iman is now completed,Mabruuk Masha'Allah.

Having said this let me get back to your dilemma,
A man cannot mentally abuse anyone let alone his wife without this being a reflection of his insecurities.I'm telling you this straight he is in doubt or angry at himself.Maybe he had bad experiences in the past or this is how his father was to his mother and hence it is normal to him.Get to the root of this and find out if he has any problems by speaking to him on a level.This is 'your' marriage, yours and his and therefore before you go to the masajid for a divorce try and see if you can get to the root of it.You cannot divorce knowing that you didnt try and find out what was wrong with your husband.

He is wrong to mentally abuse you, he should be showering you with praise since you are his beloved that he choose to spend his life with not to mention this early on in the marriage.

Walaalo I'd say speak to him on a level because right now it seems as if you act smaller then him.Even from the way you type you seem victimised.No woman, a Princess at that should ever feel victimised by a anyone!Hold your head high and ask him what's up and why he takes you for granted.Also as I said before find out what is wrong with him.Either way get to the root of it,Pray to Allah SWT keep your Imaan&faith in Allah SWT strong,include your pleas in your salat and try and do all you can before you call it a day.Please feel free to send me a Private message,I am your sister and always here for you.

Good luck walaalo
Insha'Allah Khayr & all praise be to Allah SWT

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

Here we go again……

An other day an other love!!!!!

Who is advocating for the husband and we know every stories have two versions. We have read your version, what about your husband version.
Typical somali western lady, cheap and clean.
You purpose in this life is to worship allah and then make your husband happy and allah will bless you with a good family.

What makes your husband insult you girl?
Are you the type of basaree (means careless).
Are you the type who talk on the phone and never cook for her husband.
Are you the type that order pizza?

Should you make your husband happy, he will return the favor 10 times more.
However should you ask for divorce.
May allah make you an other worthless single mother.
May allah make your days as painful as the donkey cart in mogadisho.
May allah reward you with your ingratitude and lack of family responsibilities in here after.

Nacallah iyoo hoyadadee kuu dhashay ee kuguu ghasartay waas.


And know that your proud husband will find a beautifull muslim woman who lead him to success and happiness.
A self respected somali noble man deserve a muslim woman who remind him of his deen and help hime to propect.

May allah help my brother in islam and somalinimo, if he is wronged.
And may allah ease him of this hardship, if he is tested in this life with a cheap and clean somali love.

Yaah allah we are your slaves and we need your help here…………..

[coverup]

sad sister another sister was in the same situation as you and im not being funny but shes not right in the head anymore, because she actually started believing what he said and became self-obsessed.
anyway go to a councellor sis u seem like u need to talk to someone not internet people, the pros can help u more seem as u cant trust friends or family

good luck

[Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE]

Sad sister make ur own decision these peopl will give mix feelings.
Hope u the best

[$un$hine]

Sis all i can say is may allah help you work through it..

Difficulties are a given part of life sis. Whether in marriage or life in general your bound to face difficulties. Sis..as u said ur newly wed, both you and your husband need to communicate and try to work through ur problems. U cannot expect them to simply resovle themselves.

Marriage, as with any other relationship is give and take. U need to try and see from ur husbands point of view, wot the problem is. U need to talk to him and try to work through it. Sis, islam says that ''marriage is a womans jihad'' and its also ''half of your iman'' and this is why its especially important that u try ur best to make it happen. Pray, make dua and strive to overcome the difficulties u may face.

Sis, it may be hard and at times u may feel like throwing the towel in, but u'v got to remember that ''allah doesnt burden anyone with more than they can handle''. Have sabr, and treat ur husband with kindness. Talk to him. Talk to your family, u say his family love you, but if he will not listen and try to work it out, U may need to get a third person involved.

Sis, life itself is a struggle. But wot defines u as a person, is how u cope with these struggles. Be strong, and have faith that allah will make everything work out, after all, ur destiny will be, regardless of wot u do.

Inshallah, i hope i've helped sis.

[Sad-sister]

I wont reply but to thank you and I pray for you , JZK”ALAH

The_Don_of_Djibouti………… Thanks broth allah baa nagawada jaseynayaa hadalada xun & kuwa fiicanba .. waxna kuuma heysto brotha,.. Cafis aniga dhankeyga brotha, jzk’alah

Mvp…………….broth jzk’alah

COSTA ………. Jzk’allah

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Advocator
yasmin507
DANGIRL
NiVea
Coverup
Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE
$un$hine

My Bros and sistah jzk’alah kheyran to you all, I appreciation your genuine advise, I thank You all from the bottom of my heart, you help me more then you’ll even known, and as far as my marriage goes, we’re still struggling, but ilaahey waxaan ka tuugaa everytime aaan tukado sidii kheyr ku jiro iney noo noqoto, insha’allah ilaahey baan talo saarey , and idinkoo dhan ilaahey qof walba wuxuu jecel yahey niyadiisa ha siiyo, Kheyr badan baan idin rajeynayaa waan idin soo wada duceeyey Kuligiin ilaahey ajar badan ha idinka siiyo ( sorry hadey problem tahey inaan private life heyga meeshaan keeno, I just didn’t know what to do and whom to talk to, That.s all, walaahi I thought iney ok tahey inaan walaalahey TALO weydiisto,, I just wanted to breath a little That all, MAY Allah ease our pain and sorrow, jaza’ kum alah kheyr

salam caleykum wrwb