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Why Somali men don't know about Love!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Before Feb 2000): Why Somali men don't know about Love!
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Sister

Unrecorded Date
Tell me something why somali Men don't know about Love and its meanings. Because most men I met so far don't know the word. They just say it out loud without knowing its meaning!

I am confused help me out here please!
Thanks!
Yor sister!

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Alex

Unrecorded Date
A female only can answer this question. As you said yourself Somali men donít know a thing about love. Well teach us. Open the first class on love. Let us call it Love 101 for Dummies.

Sisters we do know about love and we show it to you all the time. You are so rapped up in material things you just donít see it. Now let me ask you are you a romantic person?
How do you define a romantic person (Man)?

Thank you.

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wil balo

Unrecorded Date
salamu calaykum
sister u r right we dont now what means love
maxa yelay wiilka soamliyeed tuu arkoba 1 iyo 2 ma ahane waxay dhahan wan ku jeclahay erayga jacayka la dhaho muxuu yahay erayga jacaylka la dhaho ma ahan iska dheh mana la dhaho qof aad shalay aragtay ama bilo wada socoteen ee waxa la dhahaa qof aad aragtid suu yahay iyo suu kuu anfaco qof ad wanagisa aragtay xumatadisa aragtay qof aad ogtahay wuxuu falo iyo wuxuu gudo
ma ahane sidii diiqii oo kale ma ahan inan ku boodno ama dhahno wan ku jeclahay waligaa ha dhihin qof aad aragtay shalay wa jeclahay lakin dheh wan ka helay /wiil iyo gabaroow digniin walayal waligaa ha dhihin wan jeclahay inan inaneey ha dhihin wan jeclahay wiil ilaa inta an kor ku soo shegay aysan dhicin THANKZ/SISTER WALASHIIS ISKA DUL QADO HADAD MID HAYSATID HADII KALANA ISKA SUG WAY JIRAN DADFICAN OO JACAYLKA YAQAN WHAT IS MEAN OK SISTER AND GOOD LOKY SISTER
WASALAMU CALAYKUM

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Alex:

You got a point there. What the sister didn't specifically said is what aspect of love are we talking about here.... Is it the expression of it other than the literal saying of the word...... Is it the way one expects to be loved by another.... Is it the cultural limitation of love....
I would have to say, that I find odd to say once and again "I love you" to my mother.... Culturally that is understood.....I dont have to declare my love for my parents literally.....I have to show it in other ways.....
So, to the confused sister....Please specify what is it about love that Somali men don't know or understand...
peace and LOVE

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Sister

Unrecorded Date
Well what I mean is literly you know General word.
I have met some men who say the L-word the first time we met and when it got to the part to know each other. They back down from it. So that is why I am confuse a litte. If they know the meaning of the word itself. I am not talking about all men.
But so far the ones I met or the ones I heard about are new to the word.

Maybe because( this is my opinion don't get mad) of lack of experience or our elderly didn't demonstrate love in front of us (wait! not the kind of love you think.......Ok) example: "I love you honey, Yes baby, No sweetie.... etc.
Or maybe we came here not knowing anything and saw this western culture and just go with the flow .You know copying them, saying all the things they say to each other without knowing or expressing real feelings for each other.
Again waiting and hoping to help me, By giving me your opinions.

Thank you, for your cooperation.
Jisaka-laah khayr
again this is your sister

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Sista

Unrecorded Date
Sister, let me tell ya something.
There are some somali brothers that know the meaning of love and there are those that dont know and misuse it as you put. However, there are also girls who are just like the brothers, so it goes both ways.
You see i guess when a guy tells he loves on the first date or when you've known him for less than week, then you must use your head and know that he doesn't mean the real word(LOVE). But what he is trying to tell ya is he likes you, he like being around you, and everything. So i dont think it's the brothers at all. I know some guys who stay away from that word until they really mean it and it comes straight out of their heart.
Even me, i dont tell someone i love them unless i really really love them so much. Love has so many meanings, and you need to learn and understand the meanings before you jump to conclusions and start blaming the poor sweet innocent brothers

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amina

Unrecorded Date
to sister
if Somali or what man is in love, you'll know it no matter what. but if he aint then its just bye bye,
when a somalia man or what ever man is in love he goes crazy,he does things that you couldnt image he would do for you...how do i know this well, i am planing to get married in the future insha'alah, and when my baby said the first time he love me, i kind of believe him, but it took time for me to feel the same way that he feels.
so if it's true love, you'll know it and if it aint then try it agian.
peace

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naani

Unrecorded Date
horta hore way yartahay nin somali ah oo og wuxuu love yahay qiyaamada qatar ay ku yihiin kankale markuu ku arko waqti yar wuxuu ku dhahaayaa I love u is he telling the true or is he realy knows the meaning of love i dont think so qaarkood waxay dhahaan qofta iyagoo aan kasiinin waxaan ahay guurdoon war baadiyo muu joogaa however somali man wax uu love ka og yahay ma jiro

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
Sister adiga yaa ku baray jacaylka isla wareegyahay?

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hanad

Unrecorded Date
to sister

Love is trust between each aather, including honest, feeling, railable, respect, looking and caring each others as well.

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One of yours

Unrecorded Date
To the sister and any1 else with similar concern,
First of all there is and could be different kind of love. You can love menbers of your family(like your, brother..etc), you can also love a friend because he/she understand you more than any1 ..etc..
However, we are concerned here the love between a couple so lets look at that kind of love. One can "love" your physicall and obviouly this can only be temporary, since there is lots of men/woman of
better look. However that love can turn somehow into real one.
For instance, when you buying a car or house, the outside (body)of the car attract, then you get to the details of the car: How long itcan last, how strong it is, how fast it is, how reliable or can it meet your needs..etc. Depending of your expectation, this car/lady/men will attract you less or more than you you it/she/he did in the first place.But this does not mean that you can only end up loving some1, whom his/her physicall appearance attract in the first place (if u know what I mean).
To me love is something that builds up with time.
It is a combination of feelings: Trust, obedience(two ways by the way), care, honesty, loyalty,namimg only few.
HAve you ever thought that worse sickness for any1 is not to be loved? think about this B4 you disagree or agree with me.

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Intrigued!

Unrecorded Date
One of Your's.

I agree with you. You are right it is something that builds progressively with time.

No one is borne with the tools and equipment for loving, but it is learned through reciprocal sharing of feelings.

This sharing begins early in life, between kids and there parents, and as the child grows, he/she begins sharing this balanced reciprocity of emotions with peers and starts to interpret it in his/her own way. Thus, we get a general understanding of love and a unique personal one.

So, sister, if you think that somali men dont know about love, maybe you should take a closer look. A man (or a woman for that matter) might have a different mode of expressing and sharing love. So, one should try to find out (either by asking or observing) how the other person feels. You will be surprised as to what you find out!

As for the literal expression of the term, that is, saying "I love you" or expecting to hear from one's significant other, well we get into a gray area again. It kinda ties in with the personal feeling about that. The best way to resolve that is to initiate the expression!

All the best.
peace and LOVE

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sister

Unrecorded Date
hebel. I didn't ask your opinion. You say what you are. so get out of this discussion. Because you are way out of line.

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
Sister does that mean you won't tell me who taught you how Love?
next time do tell me where the line is so I won't ramble.
Is the line this way now------>
<--------or this way?

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sister

Unrecorded Date
Thank you all for your comments.

To hebel.

"Gindi waaye jecalka. adigoo geeriyoobin guux makaa dhaafaayo."

By tha way take whatever direction you like to take.

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
ilaa hada maku fahmin.
ingiriis ii soomaali habaa'an aa ka tahee af carabi igu day markaan bil-axsaanak.

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DevilishAngel

Unrecorded Date
sister, what is this 'love' that you're looking for?
get your head of these chick flicks, and stop listening to Oprah and her soapopera lovin fat buddies.
what do you want, flowers or something?
flowers die you know.

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Sister

Unrecorded Date
to hebel:

Which part you didn't understand.

Devilish. Too late conversation was over long time ago.

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sister

Unrecorded Date
To hebel

Which part you didn't understand.

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
you asked me that already you don't have ask me twice ya know?
heesta jilci qalbigeygiiyeey, huuno.

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sister

Unrecorded Date
Jecelka gindi waaye means marna good marne bad weeye. Adigoo geeriyoowin guux makaa dhaafaayo. Means waa lama huraan.

Marka jecelka waa shey oo ciyaar ciyaar aheyn. I learn that the hard way.

Sorry if I offended you. But I am not going to tell you who tough me love the hard way. Just remembering it is painful enough. There is tears in my eyes as I write this.


again thanks for all of your help! I don't want to talk about anymore.

Peace.

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
OH! IM so sorry sister I was just trying to cheer ya up forgive me please I would do anything......IM MEAN ANYTHING SIS.
where are U @ sis?

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sister

Unrecorded Date
Thank you hebel. I don't want nothing.

Exept in aan arr gudsado. Will you help me?

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
I'll do anything sister, that is easy? What do want to do to me?
Shyness is now allowed.

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sister

Unrecorded Date
Ok he is seeing someone else. How can I break them up? Just for him to taste the agony of breaking a heart.

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
You don't have to break anything Sister, just get on with your life and try to live better this time.
See people get jealous when they see someone they knew, is living better. They intend to get that person back specially when the person is not interested in them.
See? IM a guy I know this stuff.
We always run when we're being chased sis.
I hope I made my stinking point cause I never do and I don't think I am now.
.
.
.
Anyhoooo let me know

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sister

Unrecorded Date
Yeah I think you are right. I am going to let go. But I can't move on until I move from this place or he moves. Because is hard for both of us to live in the same city.

Thank You!

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Jabhad

Unrecorded Date
To sis
where did you get this idea from of somali men are not romantic???
damn if you ask other girls who are not somali, they will tell you that we are the most romantic peeps in the world...
peace i'm out

http://jabhad.pyar.com

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keyy

Unrecorded Date
to sista
all men are ass holes thats why they don't know anything about love,if you wanna love find your self black american men they know the meaning and how to treat a women

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Anonymous

Friday, March 09, 2001 - 04:26 am
why is it that you do not know how to treat somalian women with respect and love, what the hell did your mothers teach you.

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ModrenBoy

Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 07:43 am
Sister

If you miss first train and then the second train does not turn up. You should consider that may be the time table was not correct but you still keep waiting to turn up you are wrong.

If you had bad experience with one boy and he told you that he loves you that might mean he might not come back to you so girl correct yourself for your first approach meeting with somalian men. Things has changed over the years. It is no longer exist "libaax sanka taabo and you get the women"........

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